


Second Chances

by HartSense26809



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Danger, Drama & Romance, F/M, Heartbreak, Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:08:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 61,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22934560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HartSense26809/pseuds/HartSense26809
Summary: It’s been years since Iris West had seen Barry Allen. He broke her heart and she still hasn’t completely recovered. Neither thought they would ever see each other again. But when a bad man and his evil operation are taken down and he sets his sights on Iris, Barry has to step in and keep her safe. Will she open herself up to trust him again? Will they have a second chance?
Relationships: Barry Allen/Iris West
Comments: 385
Kudos: 372





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone, it has been a very long time since I wrote and published anything. I’ve been working on this story for awhile, coming up with ideas and outlining chapters. I hope you enjoy.

Three years ago

Barry Allen sat on the tiny balcony and stared out into the dark night. He absently swirled the whiskey in his glass and wondered what in the hell he was doing with his life. He’d woken up an hour ago and couldn’t get back to sleep. That was nothing new.

But instead of dreaming about the faces of the men and women he had killed while in the service of the government organization, The Agency, he couldn’t get Iris out of his head. It was thoughts of her that woke him and drove him out of bed.

She’d gotten home from her shift at the rehab facility where they’d met, and when she’d asked how his day had been, he’d jumped down her throat. “How do you think my day’s been?” He’d snarled. “I’m stuck here in this damn apartment instead of being at headquarters with my team. Those quack shrinks won’t release me back to active duty and I’m tired of sitting around doing nothing!”

Silence had greeted his outburst. Iris had looked at him for a long moment, sorrow and confusion in her beautiful brown eyes. Finally, she’d asked, “Why are you so angry?”

He’d had a nightmare about that look on her face not too long after he’d gone to bed. There were plenty of reasons why he was angry, and not one of them was Iris’s fault.

When Barry had woken up in the hospital in National City after almost dying in an explosion, he’d found out that his entire squad had been murdered. Because he’d trusted the wrong person. Because he’d taken his attention off his teammates.

He’d wanted to go back to Russia and kill as many enemies as he could. But the doctors in the Agency hospital had sent him to the States instead. To National City for his recuperation at the world renowned rehabilitation hospital they had there.

His first day there, Barry had met Iris. She was younger than him by five years, long, beautiful brown hair, and was always so perky. It had annoyed him at first, but the longer he was there and the more he got to know her, the more she had appealed to him.

One of things he liked about her was her willingness to do whatever was needed. A patient needed pain meds? She immediately stopped what she was doing and got them, even if it wasn’t her patient. When one of her fellow nurses needed to take a day off, Iris volunteered to take her shift. And it wasn’t that she was a pushover, she wasn’t. It was obvious she simply enjoyed doing things for others. Most people he met had some sort of hidden agenda. Not Iris. She was nice. Genuinely kind. She didn’t look for what people could do for her, but what she could do for them.

Barry hadn’t met many people like Iris. He’d found himself looking forward to talking to her when she came on shift. She smiled her thousand watt smile at him all the time and generally made him forget some of the awful things he had done while serving on his Special Force team.

He missed his friends and teammates more than he’d ever thought possible. As a sniper, he worked alone more times than not, in high stress situations, but his team had always been there for him. In return, he was responsible for keeping them safe while they carried out their missions. He was their “eye in the sky.” Barry wasn’t proud of his kill rate, one of the highest at The Agency, he had been told. Barry hated all of it, killing people. He knew they were the enemy, sworn to kill innocent people to fulfill their demented causes, but he nonetheless hated it.

Shutting off that line of thinking before he got sucked down into the black pit in his mind, Barry tried to turn his thoughts back to Iris.

He had been in the rehab hospital for five months, recovering from the wounds he’d received on that fateful day. Five months during which he’d gotten to know Iris. They had both flirted and teased, and more and when she found out he had no place to go when he was released, she had offered to let him stay with her until he was back on his feet.

That was two months go, and he was still at her apartment.

From the first night, he had shared a bed with the generous and giving Iris. At first it had been idyllic. The lovemaking was off-the-charts good. Barry hadn’t ever felt about a woman the way he did Iris.

She was adventurous and up for almost anything he wanted to try. They’d had sex all over her apartment. The wall, the couch, the kitchen table, the sink in the guest bathroom, even the balcony one night when they were both very tipsy and their inhibitions were down.

But somewhere along the line, things had changed. He had changed. Barry was frustrated with his life. He didn’t like relying on Iris for everything. He didn’t have a job, he was officially being medically retired from The Agency. He couldn’t seem to go forward, and he definitely couldn’t go back.

He felt like a prisoner in Iris’s apartment, and he hated that. She didn’t deserve a boyfriend who was constantly on edge and hated where she lived because it wasn’t the best part of the city. He wished he was a man that could take her somewhere better. She didn’t deserve his anger either, but that hadn’t stopped him from giving it to her anyway.

He stared out at the warm National City night and made the decision he had known was coming. He couldn’t stay. All he was doing was hurting Iris, and she was the last person he wanted to drag down the hellish road he was on. 

She deserved better. So much better than him. But he knew she would never kick him out. It just wasn’t in her. He needed to leave. Tonight.

Barry had nowhere to go, but he couldn’t stand the person he had become.

His decision made, Barry stood and put the glass of whiskey he’d been nursing on the small glass topped table on the balcony. He entered the apartment and went straight to the master bedroom.

Standing in the doorway, Barry drank in the sight of the woman who had meant more to him than anything he’d ever had in his entire life. Memories of her sitting astride him, her head thrown back as she came, blinked through his head as if he were watching a movie. The small moans she made when was pleasuring her. The way she smiled contently, almost she shyly when she came in his arms.

But it wasn’t just the love making he would miss. No. He would miss Iris’s incredibly caring ways. Everything she did was with him in mind. Her fridge and pantry were filled with the things he liked to eat and drink. The DVR was full of shows he frequently watched. Even the new towels hanging in her bathroom were his favorite color.

He sighed sadly. She was way too good for the likes of him. If he was ever going to be able to be in a healthy relationship, he needed to get his head on straight and figure out what the hell he wanted to do with his life. He couldn’t sit around Iris’s apartment and suck the niceness out of her. Because he knew that was what would happen if he stayed.

He glanced at the numerous pairs of scrubs hanging haphazardly in her closet. She loved being a nurse, loved helping people. Barry needed to let her do that and stop standing in her way.

Tiptoeing to the side of the bed, Barry sat next to Iris. She stirred and turned toward him. Her eyes opened into slits and when she saw it was him and gave him a small smile. “Can’t sleep again?” She asked.

“I’m good,” he told her softly.

“I can sit up with you if you want,” Iris offered.

Barry’s stomach twisted. He had been such a jerk to her earlier, and yet she still wanted to help him. When he’d first moved in, she would stay up with him when he couldn’t sleep, and more often than not they would end up making love. It hadn’t helped him sleep, but he’d felt content simply holding her as she fell asleep in his arms afterwards.

A selfish part of him wanted to say that he would love for her to stay up with him. They hadn’t made love in a week, and Barry knew it was all his fault. But he’d already made up his mind, and it would make it harder to leave if he had another taste of her. If he felt her glorious body wrap tightly around his and her faint whispers of his name in his ear, he would never be able to let her go.

He leaned over and kissed her forehead gently, then pulled back and looked into her beautiful, soft brown eyes. He couldn’t see the different variations of brown and gold, that gave her eyes such life, in the dim light of the room, but he knew he would never forget what they looked like. “I’m good. You have to work in the morning. Go back to sleep, Doc.”

She brought one hand up to his face and palmed his cheek. “I can call in tomorrow if you want to spend the day together. I know things haven’t been easy for you lately. Let me help.”

Barry almost changed his mind about leaving at hearing her words. Almost.

“I’m sorry I’ve been such an ass,” he told her, regret laced in his voice.

“You haven’t been that bad.”

He snorted. “I have, and I’m so sorry. Sleep now.”

“Love you, Barry,” she said sleepily, then dropped her hand and closed her eyes.

Barry froze. She hadn’t said the words before. But then again, neither had he. Hearing them right before he planned to leave her was torture. He sat next to her for the longest time, watching her sleep. Her slow, even breaths making her chest rise and fall in a gentle rhythm.

Feeling as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders, Barry forced himself, with everything he had, to stand. He gathered the clothes strewn about the room and stuffed them into his Agency-issued duffel bag. He went into the bathroom and quickly retrieved his toiletries. When he went back into the bedroom, Iris hadn’t stirred.

He wanted to go to her. Slip beneath the sheets and gather her tiny body into his arms. Wanted to wake her with his mouth gently kissing her full, beautiful lips to show her about much he cared about her, needed her. Show her what he couldn’t say with his words.

But instead, Barry walked silently to the door of the room and shut it behind him without looking back.

There wasn’t much else he needed to gather, but he took his time, making sure he removed as much of his presence in her life as he could.

Barry knew Iris would be upset, but he rationalized she would get over him. He also knew what he was doing was cowardly, but if he saw even one tear fall from the eyes that he had grown to love, he knew he would cave and stay. He was messed up, and he’d ruin her life eventually. It was better this way.

He considering writing a note, but he had no idea what words to use.

That he loved her, but had to leave her anyway. That he was leaving because he loved her? That she should find another man and live happily ever after?

The thought of anyone else touching what was his made Barry angry all over again. And that right there was why he needed to go. The anger was eating him alive. He was afraid one day the rage festering inside would break free, and Iris would be caught in the crossfire. He would rather die than hurt her in any way.

Barry took the key to her apartment off his key ring and placed it on the kitchen counter. It looked almost obscene sitting there. He stared at it for a long moment, knowing if he walked out the door, there was no coming back. If he left, he was giving up Iris forever. She would never forgive him for leaving without a word, and he couldn’t blame her. He wouldn’t deserve to be forgiven if he snuck out in the middle of the night, leaving no trace he’d ever been there.

Closing his eyes, Barry turned and slipped out of the apartment without a sound. He made sure the knob was locked and shut the door behind him.

The second it snicked closed, he wanted to throw up.

Don’t do this asshole. She’ll understand, and will stand by you until you get your life figured out. She’s meant to be yours. Go back. GO BACK.

Barry ignored his inner voice and turned toward the parking lot. He didn’t have a car, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t have a destination in mind, and for the first time since he’d woken up in the hospital in pain and confusion, he felt lighter.

He was an ass for feeling that way, especially after all Iris had done for him. But now he didn’t have to worry about disappointing her. About seeing the love in her eyes slowly die.

He looked back once. Her apartment was completely dark. He mourned what could’ve been if he were a better man.

Then Barry Allen turned his back on the best thing that had ever happened to him, the woman he knew deep in his gut could never be replaced, and headed for downtown Central City, and whatever the future held for him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will bring us to the present day and begin to explore where Iris is and what she is doing.  
> I hope you enjoy.

Present Day 

A loud scream pierced the air from outside the room, then abruptly fell silent.

Iris looked up in surprise at the sound. The entire time she had worked at the Putnam County School and Orphanage for Girls, she had never, not once, heard any of the girls raise their voices.

It was just one of the many uncomfortable and odd things about the place.

“Is it almost out?”

The desperate question brought Iris’s attention back to what she was doing. Namely, helping a fourteen year old girl give birth.

“You’re doing great, Karen,” she soothed. “Take deep breaths, that’s it. When you feel the need to push, don’t fight it.” Iris looked up from the task at hand and met her friend Linda’s eyes.

The noises coming from the other side of the door were increasing in intensity. She had no idea what time it was, having left her watch at home on the table beside her bed. She had been jolted out of a deep sleep by her phone ringing. It had been Mister Eobard. Karen had gone into labor and she was needed at the school.

Her normal hours were one to five, three days a week, but Iris knew she could be called at any time to attend to one of her five pregnant charges at the school. The girls ranged in ages from fourteen to eighteen, and their pregnancies ranged from fifteen to thirty six weeks.

She hadn’t hesitated when she had heard Karen was in labor. She’d woken Linda, who had reappeared in town a month ago. She had claimed to be going through a rough patch, and Iris simply couldn’t turn her away. Besides, it was nice to have someone near her own age to talk to. She had asked Mister Eobard if Linda could assist her with the girls on a voluntary basis, and he had reluctantly allowed it. Currently, Linda was sitting at Karen’s side, holding her hand and encouraging her quietly.

If Iris was honest with herself, she had asked to Linda help her out at the school because being there by herself gave her the creeps. It wasn’t anything she could put her finger on, but something wasn’t right at the Putnam County School and Orphanage for Girls.

Karen grunted, and Iris shook her head and forced her attention back on what she was doing. “I can see the head!” She told the exhausted teenager. “Just a couple more pushes and you’ll be done.”

The crash of a door being kicked open sounded from somewhere near the closed entrance to the makeshift delivery room. Iris was startled, but couldn’t stop what she was doing to investigate.

Her eyes met Linda’s again in concern. She had no idea what was happening, but whatever it was, it didn’t sound good.

There were some muffled voices from outside the door, and Iris was about to send Linda out to see what was going on when the door to the small room was suddenly thrown open.

Karen and Linda both screamed in surprise, and Iris couldn’t stop the screech that left her own mouth at the intrusion.

Looking to her left, she stared incredulously at two armed men standing in the doorway. They were both wearing black from head to toe, including helmets with dark tinted shields covering their faces.

Iris was scared out of her mind, but she tried to suppress her fear in front of Karen. The poor girl was having a hard enough time at the moment as it was. There was nothing Iris could do to protect herself or the other two women in the room, but she tried bravado to project a sense of control over the situation. “Get out! This is a sterile environment!”

When the men didn’t shoot her or otherwise act in any way aggressive toward them, Iris tried to calm her erratic heartbeat. They didn’t leave, but she figured if they were there to harm them, they would’ve fired their weapons by now.

With a loud scream, Karen gave one last push and a wet, squirmy baby slid out of her body into Iris’s waiting hands. She tried not to give the men another thought and turned her attention to the new life in her arms. She clamped the umbilical cord and cut it, her motions quick and efficient. Turning to the table she had prepared earlier, Iris set the infant down on a fluffy towel and began sucking mucus and fluid out of his little nose and mouth. Within seconds, the boy opened his mouth and protested his not so gentle entry into the world.

Iris heard Linda talking softly to the teenager, reassuring her, while she finished up with the baby. Gently wiping him clean, she picked him up and turned back to Karen. She noticed one of the men who had stormed into the room was still standing there. He hadn’t come closer to the table, but he also had not left. His rifle was now pointed toward the ground instead of at them, but it didn’t make Iris feel any better.

She had no idea what was going on. Was the school being taken hostage? Are the children and all of the other inhabitants being held for ransom? She wanted so badly to ask what was going on, but she didn’t want to antagonize the man with the gun. She glanced over at Linda and was reassured when her friend wasn’t panicking. Linda used to work for a security company, and Iris figured if she wasn’t frantically trying to send her a nonverbal message about ducking for cover or something, they were probably okay for the moment.

Her fingers shaking with fear, Iris took a deep breath. She needed to let Karen bond with her baby, then deliver the afterbirth.

Trying to ignore the man’s presence, Iris brought Karen’s baby to her. “Hold out your arms,” she told the teenager.

Karen did as requested, and Iris put the tiny baby in her arms. “Meet your son, Karen.”

The teenager looked up at her with wide blue eyes. “A boy?”

Iris smiled and nodded. Mister Eobard’s rule was that the pregnant women weren’t allowed to find out the gender of their babies ahead of time. Iris didn’t know why, but wasn’t brave enough to go against his wishes. Besides, the girls didn’t seem to care one way or another. It was all very weird.

“Yes, a healthy seven pound, three-ounce baby boy.”

“A boy,” Karen breathed, then her eyes filled with tears.

“Are you okay?” Iris asked.

The teenager nodded. “Yeah, I’m just so happy it’s a boy.”

Iris shook off the uneasy feeling in her gut and moved back down the bed to complete the birthing process.

Not too much later, Iris stood and stripped off the gloves she had been wearing. Linda had wrapped the infant in a blanket, and mom and son were quietly bonding.

Taking a deep breath, Iris turned to the man in the doorway.

Putting a hand on her hip, she asked rather belligerently, “Well?”

In her defense, she normally wouldn’t have been so abrupt or rude to a man with a gun, but she was tired, and more than a little uneasy about the appearance of the men. She had no idea what was going on, and desperately wanted to protect Linda, Karen, and the newborn baby.

“What’s someone like you doing in a place like this?”

Iris blinked. It almost sounded like a pick up line. Except they weren’t in a bar and the weapon in the man’s hands made it more than clear he wasn’t trying to impress her.

“I work here.”

He made a noise that sounded like a snort, but with the shield over his face, Iris couldn’t be sure. It annoyed her that she couldn’t see him. Generally, people tended to broadcast some of what they were thinking through their facial expressions, but she was flying blind here.

Iris had no idea if the man had planned on responding to her snarky answer to his question, because they were interrupted by another man appearing in the doorway.

“Iris west?“

She nodded. “That’s me. What’s going on?”

“You and your friend need to come with me.”

Shaking, Iris crossed her arms over her chest and pretended to be braver than she was actually feeling. “I don’t know who you are or what you want. We’re not going anywhere with you.”

The man turned away, looking at her over his shoulder, and pointed to the letters on the back of the vest he was wearing. “FBI. As of right this moment, the Putnam County School and Orphanage for Girls is officially shut down. And as employees, there are some tough questions you’re both going to have to answer about exactly what’s been going on here for the last decade.”

Iris was rocked to her core, and she reached out to prop herself up on the bed next to her so she didn’t fall flat on her face. She turned to look at Linda ——-who didn’t look nearly as shocked as Iris felt.

“Will I get to keep my baby?” Karen asked softly from the bed next to her. “Mister Eobard took my last boy away and I never saw him again.”

This time, Iris gaped at the teenager.

Karen and the other girls in the pregnancy unit, as it was called, were typically shy and didn’t act like any teenagers Iris had ever known. They never spoke out of turn and were always polite, especially to Mister Eobard and the other Misters. They never questioned authority, especially a man’s. So for Karen to speak up like she had, to an unknown male authority figure at that, was shocking.

The man who had watched Iris closely while she helped Karen give birth spoke before the FBI agent could. His voice was low and rumbly...... and something……something about it sounded familiar. “You’ll get to keep your baby.”

Too many thoughts were tumbling around Iris’s brain. She had no idea what was going on, but she had a feeling it was bad. She and Linda had discussed their suspicions about the school, but that’s all they were—— suspicions. They had no concrete proof of anything. Iris also knew her friend had talked to her uncle and some of his friends and relatives who owned a security company in Star City, but Linda hadn’t been sure they could find out anything about the school.

Mister Eobard was an upstanding member of Central City society. He had received a commendation from the mayor for the work he was doing for the girls at Putnam. There was a steady stream of important men from the city who came to observe. Police officers, politicians, businessman.

If all these authority figures had been there, and hadn’t found anything out of order, what could she and Linda do?

Looked like they didn’t have to do anything. Whatever was happening was big. Especially if the FBI was involved.

“I need to get changed, and make sure Karen and her baby——-”

The FBI agent interrupted her. “There are paramedics outside. They’ll take care of them.“

“Oh, but——”

The agent took a step toward her as he said, “Come along, Ms. West. Stop stalling!”

“DIBNEY, stop it,” the mystery man, the observer, the one who reassured Karen, growled, as Iris almost tripped over her own feet trying to back away from the menacing agent reaching toward her. What was it that was so familiar about him?

The agent stopped in his tracks and dropped his hand. “There’s nothing more you can do here,” the man called Dibny said, obviously trying to temper his impatience. “Please come with me now.”

“I don’t understand what’s going on. Where are the other girls? They’re pregnant. Stress isn’t good for them.” Iris thought she heard a snort from Karen, but ignored it, her gaze going from the FBI agent’s face to the other man standing by his side.

“They’re fine. They’re being looked after. You’re wasting time,” Dibny said, his impatience barely held in check.

Swallowing hard, Iris looked over at Linda. The other woman was still standing by Karen’s side and had one hand on the teenager’s shoulder. “It’s okay,” Linda said.“They just want to ask us questions.”

Iris narrowed her eyes at her friend. She sounded completely at ease and not at all freaked out.

When she had shown up a month ago out of the blue, Iris had immediately invited her to stay with her at her parents house. Joe and Francine West had welcomed the addition to the household without question. Then again, that was how they were. They didn’t judge, and had never made Iris feel bad about moving back in with them two and a half years ago. Besides, they had loved Linda when the girls were in high school, and seemed pleased to see her again.

Iris had a million questions, but instead of asking them, she merely nodded. She would find out soon enough what was going on. Until then, she just had to play it smart and keep quiet. She would figure out what to do as soon as she learned exactly what had happened at the school that night.

Straightening her shoulders, she walked out of the delivery room, refusing to look at either of the men as she passed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for taking the time to read it. This story will be a slow build up to Barry and Iris. I wanted to try and do something different and really flesh out the story, give it the proverbial legs to stand on. But I promise there will be a lot of Barry and Iris in future chapters. As always, comments are much appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will focus on Barry and how he is coping with the present situation concerning Iris.

Barry Allen stood at the window to the interrogation room and clenched his teeth. Hard.

Iris was sitting in a wooden chair, slumped over the cold metal table in front of her. She had been there for an hour and was losing the battle to stay awake. Her long brown hair was in disarray and hung limply around her face. Her head would bob as she began to fall asleep, then she would jerk awake and catch herself. This had happened several times over the five minutes Barry had been watching her.

She was still wearing the stained light blue scrubs she’d had on when she delivered the teenager’s baby. Every so often, she would rub her hands up and down her arms and shiver in the obviously cold interrogation room.

Without turning to look at the man next to him, Barry said, “She’s not a part of this Ralph.”

“I know,” his friend responded immediately.

At that, Barry finally looked at the other man. He had known Ralph a while. His friend was taller than Barry’s own six foot two inches, by a few of his own inches, but Barry knew if push came to shove, he could win in a hand to hand combat situation against him. Not that they were going to come to blows there in the FBI field office, but Barry was on edge.

It had been a little less than three years since he had been as close to Iris West as he was right now, and the only thing he wanted to do was bust into the small, cold room, gather her into his arms, and tell her that he was an idiot for leaving her———and he would never let her go again.

But he couldn’t do that.

Because she was about to be interrogated by the FBI about her role in the revolting child abuse ring at the school.

At one time, it was thought the school was some sort of cult. Barry almost would have preferred that over the sick exploitation of children they had discovered. The only thing keeping him semi calm was the fact that his friend Ralph would be the one interrogating her.

“If she knew what was happening at that awful place, she wouldn’t have stood for it. I know that for a fact,” he told Ralph.

“I know,” Ralph repeated with some exasperation. “But you know as well as I do that she has to be questioned. We have to play this by the book because of how high up the corruption has apparently gone. We need to figure out how she got involved with them in the first place. A lot of heads are going to roll, and the FBI wants to make sure they’ve got as much information as possible on every asshole who visited that depraved place to make sure they pay.”

Barry took a deep breath and turned back to the window to stare at the only woman he had ever loved. The woman he abandoned, and who he had no doubt would never forgive him. Hell, he couldn’t forgive himself for what he had done. “Any word on Eobard or his son?”

Ralph pressed his lips together and shook his head. “No. They’re in the wind. The SWAT team checked the school from top to bottom and couldn’t find them. They got a ton of evidence to put them in jail for the rest of their miserable lives, but those two assholes somehow slipped away.”

“Is Iris or her friend in danger? What about the girls who were at the school?” Barry asked urgently.

Ralph shrugged. “Honestly, it’s hard to say. I would like to believe Eobard and his son have enough on their plates getting out of town and staying ahead of law-enforcement, but the bottom line is that I just don’t know.”

“Dammit,” Barry said. “I want to be assigned to Iris.”

Ralph held up his hand. “The bureau isn’t taking that step yet. Until there’s proof the Thawne’s are still around or are targeting anyone, we can’t authorize any extra budget to go towards bodyguards.”

“You don’t need to pay me a dime. All I need is someone from the bureau to have a word with my supervisor so I can get the time off.”

Ralph stared at him for a long moment before nodding. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Appreciate it. I’m taking the next week off. Using my vacation. But after that, I need the official approval to stick close to her side.”

“I’ll do what I can.”

“Thanks.”

Ralph turned to go.

“Go easy on her, Ralph. She’s had a hard night,” Barry said softly.

Ralph nodded again, and clapped Barry on the shoulder before turning to leave the small observation room.

“Ralph?”

The other man stopped at the door and turned back.

Barry shrugged out of the brown leather jacket he’d been wearing and held it out to the other man. “Turn off the air in there. You don’t need to use any interrogation techniques on her, like making the temperature too cold or hot. She’s freezing. Cut her some slack.”

Ralph hesitated for a second, then grabbed the jacket Barry held out to him. Without a word, he slipped out of the room to question Iris.

Barry resumed his position in front of the mirror and fisted his hands in his pockets. He hated this. Loathed it. Wanted nothing more than to be in there with Iris himself. But this had quickly become the government’s operation. He had been invited to participate in the raid only because he knew Ralph. Barry suspected that David Singh, The Agency Captain stationed up at Keystone, had something to do with his involvement in the raid as well.

Singh had called and asked him to keep an eye on the comings and goings at the school. After learning Iris——-his Iris——— had been linked to the school, he’d spent every spare moment he had watching the property. It was only after talking to his friend, Ralph, that he’d discovered the school was already part of a low priority FBI investigation.

Using the skills he had learned in The Agency as an Alpha Force operative, Barry had found a spot on a ridge about a mile away where he could watch over the school. He’d told Ralph about the location, and the two of them had spent the last month observing and taking notes——often together—— on the comings and goings of every car. Repeat visits from some of Central City’s highest officials was enough to make them suspicious. They had never seen the children playing on the expensive playground off to the side of the school, and in fact, rarely saw any glimpses of the kids at all.

Audio captured by a wired city councilman sent in by the FBI, in exchange for a lesser sentence on his recent embezzlement charge, instantly changed the case from low priority to an extremely high priority one.

He’d watched as Iris had driven onto the grounds, promptly at twelve forty-five, three days a week, Linda in the passenger seat of her blue Subaru Forrester. She’d always gone into one building, which sat some ways away from the large main building. When five o’clock came, she and Linda exited the building, got back in her car, and drove away.

Barry had been tempted to follow her. See where she was living. Who she was living with. But had talked himself out of it every time. He knew himself, and knew seeing firsthand that she had moved on, probably gotten married, maybe had a family, would kill him.

He knew Ralph had questions about his intense interest in Iris, but the other man had let him have his privacy.

After tonight, however, Barry had a feeling the space Ralph had given him was going to be a thing of the past. But talking about Iris, and the best and worst times in his life, wasn’t something he’d ever be comfortable doing.

Barry watched, a silent shadow, as Ralph entered the small, brightly lit interrogation room and handed Iris his jacket. She looked surprised, and Barry couldn’t blame her. She’d been sitting in the windowless room for an hour while the agents were busy talking to some of the children and teachers who had been at the school. She was low on their priority list.

There weren’t a lot of “teachers” at the school, but that was because they weren’t actually instructing the students in reading, writing, or math problems. Everyone knew what was happening behind closed doors and they would all go down for it.

As Iris shrugged on his jacket, he saw her eyes widen right before she turned her head to bury her nose in the collar. Was that a modicum of comfort he saw on her face? He could never be sure because whatever he hoped he might have seen disappeared in the wake of the interrogation Ralph was about to administer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. All comments and kudos are appreciated, and I’m so grateful to everyone who has read this story thus far and liked it. A big THANK YOU.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will answer all the questions about exactly what Iris has unknowingly been involved in. PLEASE NOTE: As alluded to in previous chapters, the subject matter in this chapter will deal with child abuse and trafficking of women. Please DO NOT read this chapter if you will be triggered by this subject matter.

Iris was exhausted. Not only tired, but scared out of her mind at the same time. She had no idea how long she had been sitting in the sterile room, but it seemed like an eternity.

Not only that, but she was freezing. Despite it being warm in Central City this time of year, she could never get used to buildings being overly air conditioned to combat the heat outside. It had to be fifty degrees inside the tiny room. Her hands shook and her nose was ice cold. All she wanted to do was curl up in her bed at home and hide under the covers. But she was stuck in the icebox room until someone came and questioned her.

Maybe they had forgotten about her. Maybe everyone had gone home and she would be found in the morning when a bad guy was dragged into the room to be questioned about some awful thing he had done, and they would be surprised to find her frozen, dead body lying on the floor.

Shaking her head, Iris tried to concentrate. She was being overly dramatic. She wasn’t going to freeze to death. She was chilled, yes, but she honestly wasn’t all that surprised. And all things considered, she’d rather be cold than hot. She wasn’t an idiot. The temperature had probably been turned down on purpose to make her uncomfortable. She had watched enough forensic and cop shows to know how it worked.

Jumping in her chair when the door to the room was suddenly opened, Iris turned toward it. A tall man with light brown hair entered. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a long sleeve, black button down shirt. He held out a leather jacket as he came closer.

“I apologize for the temperature of the room, Miss West.”

She stared at the jacket for a beat, then reached for it before he changed his mind. As the man got settled in the seat across from her, Iris shrugged on the jacket.

She froze when a familiar scent wafted up from the leather.

Turning her head to see if she was simply losing her mind or if she had smelled what she thought she had, Iris brought the collar of the leather jacket to her nose and inhaled. An earthy, musky scent filled her nostrils.

Goosebumps broke out on her arms and she squeezed her eyes shut, lost in the memory of the only man she had ever loved. A man who had crushed her heart.

His parting gift was the only thing that had kept her from falling into a pit of despair after he had left.

“My name is Agent Ralph Dibney, and I work for the FBI. I need you to tell me everything you can about your employment at the Putnam County School and Orphanage for Girls.“

His words brought her out of her reminiscing.

“Where’s Linda?”

“She’s fine. She was questioned and sent home thirty minutes ago.”

Iris nodded and relaxed. She might be in trouble for working at the school, but since she brought Linda there, she didn’t want her to be in hot water as well.

“I don’t know where to start,” she said quietly.

“How long have you been working there?” Ralph asked.

“About three and a half months. I was working at the women’s clinic downtown and was approached by Mister Edward…..he’s Mister Eobard’s son. Anyway, I had noticed him before, kinda hanging out around the clinic, and when I approached to find out what his deal was, he told me that he worked at the school and they were looking for an experienced nurse to help with the pregnant teenagers. I sent him away, but researched the school when I got home. Everything seemed on the up and up. Did you know Mister Eobard was given the key to the city a couple of years ago for the philanthropic work he’s done over the years?”

The FBI agent in front of her didn’t nod, but didn’t shake his head either. “So did Edward come back after that?” he asked.

Iris nodded. “Every day. He begged me to come work for his dad. Said they were desperate, and that his father had looked into my credentials and decided I was just the person they needed.” She shrugged self-consciously. “I’m not stupid. I found out as much as I could about their philosophy, entry requirements—- which I now know were completely bogus——and history before I agreed to talk to Mister Eobard.”

“And how did that conversation go? Did you go out to the school for an interview?“

Iris shook her head. “No. He came to the clinic one afternoon. He was well spoken and genuinely seemed to care about the girls at his school. I still wasn’t sure….. I mean, he wanted me there three days a week for only four hours at a time. Twelve hours a week wasn’t all that much, and it would mean sacrificing my full-time hours at the clinic, taking me down to part time there. I’d be losing my insurance and everything.”

“Let me guess, he made you an offer you couldn’t refuse,” Ralph said dryly.

Iris felt the heat rising in her cheeks and nodded. “Yeah. Said I could go on the school’s insurance, and the pay was more than what I was making at the clinic, full-time. I thought it was too good to be true, and said so. He reassured me that my expertise was worth it, and that I’d also be on call. If one of the girls needed me, he said I’d be expected to come to the school no matter what time it was. I finally agreed.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you agree? No offense, but you live with your parents. You can’t actually be hurting for money.”

Iris’s hands clenched into fists in her lap. She hated when people judged her. Hated it. They had no idea what she had been through and how much she owed her parents for helping her without making her feel like a burden. “I pay my way,” she said firmly. “I pay for groceries, I give my parents rent money even though they don’t ask for it. I haven’t taken a cent from them.”

“Then why live at home?” Ralph asked, leaning back in his chair.

Iris glared at the agent. “Why not?” She countered. Not wanting to tell this man her reasons if she didn’t have to. She wasn’t ashamed of why she had moved in with them, but she wasn’t about to tell this stranger her secrets.

Ralph was silent for a long minute. Iris refused to squirm under his assessment and resisted the temptation to ease the awkward silence by speaking.

Finally, he smiled, as if he was impressed with her ability to keep quiet. “Right, so…… tell me about your job there at the school.”

And she did. She explained how she was responsible for the pregnant teenagers well-being. That she taught them what to eat and not eat while they were pregnant. She answered their questions about the upcoming birth and what would happen.

Ralph leaned forward when she was done speaking and put his forearms on the table in front of him. His eyes narrowed and he asked, “Did you ever come into contact with the other girls at the school? The younger ones?”

Iris shook her head.

“Not ever?” Ralph insisted.

“No. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere but the K ward.”

“Why was it called the K ward?”

Iris shrugged. “The only thing I can guess is because the names of all the girls there started with the letter K.”

“And you didn’t think that was odd?” Ralph asked, his green eyes piercing in their intensity.

“Well, yeah, but that’s what they told me their names were. Kristine, Kora, Kallie, Kathy, and Klaire.”

“Did the girls ever talk about their lives before they got pregnant?”

Iris shook her head again. “No. They seemed….. scared to, if I’m being honest.”

“By all means, please be honest,” Ralph drawled.

Iris exhaled, but forced herself to continue. The sooner she told this guy everything he wanted to know, the sooner she could go home to her family. “The girls were really well behaved. They were almost too obedient. They weren’t like the teenagers I treated in the downtown clinic. They seemed almost too innocent to be pregnant. The other weird thing was that Mister Eobard didn’t want me to tell them what gender their babies were, although he insisted I tell him.”

“And you didn’t find that odd?“

Iris was getting sick of his suspicious tone. “Actually, I found it really odd. But by that point, I had already signed a nondisclosure agreement and had received my first month’s pay. I had told the clinic director I’d be working part time, and I was reliant on the school for my living expenses and insurance. Ultimately, I figured it didn’t matter if the girls didn’t know the gender of their babies. How I treated them wouldn’t change.”

“Hmmmm,” Ralph murmured, leaning back in his seat and staring at her again. He chewed his lip for a moment before seemingly coming to a decision. He took a breath and began to speak. “The Putnam County School and Orphanage for Girls was a front for a massive child abuse and sex trafficking organization. Eobard Thawne was orchestrating the abuse of every girl living under the school’s roof. Not only that, but when they ‘aged out,’ the girls were sold online to the highest bidder.”

Iris felt the blood drain from her face—- and all she could do was stare at the agent with her mouth open in disbelief.

He continued. “He had separate sections of the school for the girls, depending on their ages. The babies were kept in one room. They generally weren’t abused. But on a girl’s second birthday, she was moved to the ‘littles’ room. From the ages of two to five, those girls were slowly introduced to the ‘rules’ of the school and how life would be for them from that point on. If the students were lucky, they weren’t raped….. but all of those girls were exposed to the attention of the ‘visiting teachers.’ Then, when they were five, the littles became ‘smalls.’ That’s where the more physical abuse started. For two years, those girls had to attend ‘classes’ with the visiting teachers.”

“Oh my God,” Iris said, covering her mouth with her hand. She felt like she was going to throw up. But Agent Dibney wasn’t done.

“Some of the men who visited the school preferred the younger girls, but Eobard catered to everyone’s tastes. When the girls turned eight, they were called ‘bigs.’ As a big, they were expected to have learned all the rules. They weren’t allowed to speak unless ordered to. They did whatever the perverts who paid Eobard big bucks wanted them to. These girls literally didn’t know any other kind of life. All they knew was doing what they were told by Eobard and his ‘friends.’

“When they were teenagers——known as ‘missus’—— the abuse slowed down, but it didn’t stop altogether. You were hired to make sure the babies they carried were healthy. If the baby was a girl, it was placed in the school system to suffer the same fate as her mom. If it was a boy……” Ralph shrugged. “It conveniently disappeared. Adopted by a couple desperate to have a child. And they paid handsomely for the privilege of having Eobard Thawne broker the deal.”

Iris was afraid to ask, but she did anyway. “You said when they got too old…..they were sold?”

There was no emotion on Ralph’s face, but somehow Iris knew he wasn’t as stoic as he appeared. “Yeah. When they turned eighteen or so, too old to appeal to Eobard’s…….. customers anymore, he set up an online auction on the dark web. Sold them to people all over the globe as sex slaves.”

The tears Iris had been holding back slipped over her lids and down her cheeks. “Have they been found?”

Ralph scoffed. His voice wasn’t harsh, but he definitely wasn’t holding back in order to spare her. “Miss West, these girls had no names. No real names, that is. When they were babies, they were only assigned a number. Baby One. Baby Two, etc. Then when they were littles, their names started with L’s. Smalls started with S. Bigs started with B. Missus with M. When they got pregnant, their name was changed yet again to start with a K. If they were young enough, they went back to being a miss. When they were put up on the web to be sold, they were merely numbers once again. Full circle. We are trying to find Eobard’s records on the sales but for all intents and purposes, those girls are gone. Probably dead……..or wishing they were.”

Iris dropped her face into her hands and sobbed. She thought about Karen, and how she had been so surprised and hopeful that she’d get to keep her baby when the school had been raided. Iris hated the thought that the baby boy could’ve been taken away to be adopted by someone without the girl’s consent, but that was better than the alternative. If the baby had been a girl, it would’ve gone into the “system” and had a lifetime of abuse in front of her.

Then something occurred to her, and her head whipped up. “I was helping him abuse those poor girls?”

Something shifted in Ralph’s eyes, and he said in a surprisingly gentle tone, “No. If anything, you were giving them a taste of what it was like to be treated like a human being, instead of a sex slave.”

“Oh God,” Iris moaned. She stood suddenly, knocking her chair backwards in the process. It fell to the floor with a loud clanking but she didn’t seem to hear it in her agitation. “Oh God,” she repeated. “I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know! I can’t believe he was doing that to the kids. I never even saw the children! He said there was a doctor employed full-time to take care of……..”. Her voice trailed off and she moaned once again.

“The doctor was abusing them too, wasn’t he?” She waved off Ralph’s answer when he opened his mouth. “Never mind, you don’t have to tell me. I know he was. The first time I examined the girls, they were terrified. I don’t know what that’s so called doctor did to them, but it had to have been bad. Good God……..all those men who showed up at five when I was leaving were there to abuse the girls, weren’t they?”

Ralph nodded. 

“The politicians, the cops, the businessman…… all of them?” Iris asked.

Ralph nodded again. “Every single one. And at the moment, they’re all being investigated and rounded up. One by one. They’re going to pay for what they’ve done.”

“How do you know who they are?”

“Eobard kept meticulous records on everyone who came to the school. Had cameras in all the rooms. A couple……clients….. got nervous, and to make sure they kept quiet about what was happening, he blackmailed them. He held the careers of over a hundred men in this city in the palm of his hand.”

Iris bit her lip and stared at the FBI Agent. She’d thought he looked friendly enough when he first entered the room. He was good looking and tall. She had a weakness for tall men. But at the moment, he looked ruthless. She had no doubt he would do just as he said, make sure all the perverts who partook of Eobard’s immoral and hideous scheme would go to jail.

But wait…..she was also a part of it, even if indirectly. Was she going to be arrested too? Was that why she’d been held for so long? “Am I going to jail?”

“Should you be?”

Iris stood on the other side of the room and stared at Ralph, honestly not sure how to respond. She opened her mouth to speak when a loud thump came from the mirror behind the agent.

Intellectually, Iris knew the mirror wasn’t really a mirror, but a window where someone, or several people, watched from the other side, but she had blocked that out. After the bang on the window, she couldn’t ignore the fact that there was, indeed, someone observing her interview.

Someone who wasn’t happy about the turn in the conversation.

Another heavy thump sounded, and Iris jumped. Whoever was on the other side definitely wanted attention.

Surprisingly, Ralph smirked. Iris stared at him, totally confused.

“You’re not going to jail,” he told her, standing. He walked over to her chair, still lying on its side on the floor, and righted it. He held the back and gestured to the seat. “Come. Sit back down. I’ll explain what’s going to happen next and answer any other questions that you have.”

Warily, Iris inched toward the chair and sat at the very edge. Without commenting, Ralph walked back around the table and sat down. “It’s obvious you had no idea what was going on at the school. Not only that, you don’t exactly meet the criteria to be an insider.”

“The criteria?”

“You’re female, for one thing, so you obviously aren’t a customer of Eobard’s and his stable of girls,” Ralph told her.

Iris swallowed hard at hearing the poor abused children being described as belonging to a “stable.” It was appropriate though, as they’d been treated like animals, with no feelings or rights for as long as they resided at the school.

“And, I’m not trying to be rude, but you’re simply too old for Eobard‘s tastes. You’re what, like twenty five?”

“Six,” she told him.

“Right, you and Linda are of no interest to Eobard. The school has been under investigation for quite a while, and what you’ve said you did there matches up with the records we confiscated from Eobard’s office.”

“I saw some of the men who came at night,” Iris said shakily. “Do I need to be worried about that?”

Ralph immediately shook his head. “I doubt it. They have enough to worry about. You weren’t blackmailing them, and they’re going to be more than aware that the evidence against them isn’t based on anything you saw. The videos, pictures, and bank records are going to do them in without any eyewitness testimony from you.”

“And the children? What’s going to happen to them?”

For the first time since the interview had started, Iris saw true anger on the agent’s face. “They’ll be placed into foster care. They all need extensive psychological help. Even the babies, who weren’t touched sexually were still abused. A lack of love and comfort can be just as harmful as any other kind of neglect.”

“And my girls?”

Ralph knew who she was talking about without needing her to clarify. “They are being placed into foster care as well.”

“Can I see them?”

Ralph shook his head. “It’s not a good idea. Any reminders of where they were and what happened can’t be good for them right now. Maybe in time, but for now, no.”

Iris sighed. She had expected that answer. She didn’t like it, but she understood why. “You said Linda’s been released?”

“Yeah. She was interviewed earlier. I’m sorry it took so long to get to you. We are almost done here and you’ll be free to go. But Miss West, I’ll ask that you don’t leave town. You and Linda need to be accessible in case any other questions come up.”

Iris nodded. “No problem on my part. I live here. Linda’s uncle might want her home, back in Star City.”

“She said it wouldn’t be an issue for her to stay. I understand she’s been living with you at your parents house.”

“Yeah, she’s been helping me with….uh..... yeah, she came down to see me and decided to stay for a while.” Iris swallowed, not wanting to get into what Linda had been helping her with. It was nobody’s business but her own. It wasn’t something she was embarrassed about, not in the least, but it also   
wasn’t something she advertised.

“One more thing, since Eobard and Edward haven’t been located, you need to be extremely careful.”

“You think they’re going to come after me? I thought you just said you didn’t think I was in danger.”

“I do think that. I’m not saying those two will care about you or your friend, but since they’re in the wind, you still need to be careful.”

“Yeah, all right. That makes sense. I do have to work though. I can’t just sit at home,” Iris told him.

“I didn’t think you would. The bureau can’t offer you a full-time bodyguard at this point, but if it looks like you’re in danger, you’ll be assigned protection.”

“I will?” Her head tilted to the right in confusion. “Who?”

“All of the law enforcement agencies in the area worked together on this bust,” he said, not really answering her question. “CCPD, the state highway patrol, FBI, multiple other government agencies both local and federal, it was truly an interagency effort to bring this sick operation down. I’m not one hundred percent sure who would be assigned to you, if it comes to that. But rest assured, we won’t just leave you vulnerable for those assholes to get ahold of.”

“Oh, well…… thank you,” Iris said, somewhat surprised.

“As I said, at this point, I think they’ve hightailed it out of town. Just be alert for anything odd happening and let me know if you ever feel as if you’re in danger, and I’ll make sure you get that protection. Now, if you’ll just sit tight, I will arrange for you to get a ride home,” Ralph told her, standing.

“Oh……my car. Can I…….will I get it back?”

“Of course. The FBI doesn’t go around stealing cars, Iris.”

It was the first time he had used her name, and somehow it changed the whole atmosphere of the room. Made him seem more….. approachable. Friendly.

“I do suspect it will take a couple of days for it to be towed back to FBI headquarters. It’ll need to be searched, you understand.”

“Of course.” Iris inwardly winced at what the investigators would find in the backseat. Lord only knew what was back there. She hadn’t had the time or the inclination to clean it out recently. Not having her car would be a pain, but she was sure her mom would let her use hers in the meantime.

“If you’ll wait here, I’ll be back in a bit.”

“By a bit…… you don’t mean a few hours, do you?” Iris asked. “I have no idea what time it is, but I need to get home.”

“I don’t mean a few hours,” he reassured her. He looked down at her with an expression Iris couldn’t identify. Just when she was feeling uneasy, he said softly, “You have a big heart, Iris West. My girlfriend is a lot like you. Lucky for me, she is as forgiving as she is tenderhearted.”

And with those cryptic words, Agent Ralph Dibney nodded at her and left the room.

Iris stared at the door he disappeared through, then turned to face the huge mirror on the opposite wall from where she was sitting. She looked tired. Her hair was a mess, her scrubs were stained with Karen’s blood. Even from across the room she could see the dark circles under her eyes, advertising to the world her exhaustion.

Dropping her head, Iris took a deep breath, and once more inhaled the smell emanating from the jacket she was wearing.

This time when the tears came, she didn’t bother trying to hold them back. The subtle musky and earthy scent of the jacket she was wearing wafted up to her nose and made her feel even more off-center. The smell reminded her of the man she had once loved with all her heart. She remembered how safe and secure she had felt when he’d held her in his arms. She wished he was here right now. If she ever needed him, now was the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read this chapter. This was a long chapter. I hope the descriptions weren’t too awful and graphic. (I have been really worried about it.) I wanted to properly convey how terrible and evil the situation and the Thawne’s are so the audience can understand the stakes and eventually why Iris will be in danger. I’m always open to any constructive criticism, as this is my first time writing about a difficult subject matter. 
> 
> I also want to say thank you to everyone who has left kudos and comments on this work or any of my works. I read every comment and they mean so much to me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry makes a pivotal decision about what he will do in regards to Iris.

As soon as Ralph Dibney stepped foot into the observation room, Bartholomew Henry Allen reached out and shoved against his chest as hard as he could. The other man took a step back, but grinned at his friend.

“You asshole. You made her cry,” Barry accused.

Ralph merely shrugged. “It’s not like we were having tea, Barry. She was being questioned about a sex abuse scandal.”

“Yeah, but you shouldn’t have made her think for one damn second she would be arrested. You knew before you went in there she didn’t know shit about what was happening.”

Ralph smirked. “You know you’re not supposed to do anything to bring attention to the fact you’re observing the interview.”

“Whatever,” Barry mumbled. He turned back to the window and stared at Iris. Her arms were around her waist now and her head was lowered. She looked so vulnerable and scared, he wanted nothing more than to go to her. Now wasn’t the time and it certainly wasn’t the place.

He might’ve been doing nothing but watching over her for the last month, keeping her safe from afar, never letting her know he was there, but that………that was all done.

He knew she wouldn’t be happy to see him, not after the way he’d left, but he didn’t care anymore. Barry still loved her, hell, he had never stopped. And although he knew he had an uphill battle getting back into her good graces, and that she might never feel for him again the way she used to, he was going to give it his best shot.

“Be straight with me, is she in danger from those two assholes?” Barry asked abruptly.

Ralph picked up the change in conversation without missing a beat. “At this point, it’s hard to tell, but I’m thinking no. The Thawne’s would be idiots to be within a thousand miles of Central City.”

“Seriously, if a protection detail is necessary, I want it.”

“Of course. If it comes to that, which I seriously doubt, I’ll reach out to your boss.”

“I appreciate it,” Barry told his friend.

Ralph waved off his thanks. “I think it’s obvious that no one would protect her as well as you would. It’s late. Agent Diggle said he would give Iris a ride home. I need to let him know she’s ready.” Ralph paused for a second, then said, “Barry…….”

Barry turned and looked at Ralph. He didn’t like the intense way his friend was staring at him. “Yeah?”

“You know if you need anything, all you have to do is ask. You’ve got a friend in every law enforcement agency in the city. ATF, NSA, Sheriff’s Office, FBI, Rangers, even the Warden service. With one word, were all there.”

“I know, and I appreciate it. Me and Iris…….we have a history,” Barry reluctantly told him.

“No shit.”

Barry’s lips quirked. “Unfortunately, I messed up, and she’s not going to be happy to see me.”

“She’ll forgive you,” Ralph said with certainty.

“I’m not sure. I was a colossal dick. It’s not like I didn’t put the toilet seat down or something like that.”

“If Sue forgave me for not telling her I was undercover when we met, Iris will forgive you.”

Barry wanted to believe his friend, but he honestly wasn’t sure. If the tables were turned and she had walked out on him in the middle of the night without even a note, he wasn’t sure he would be able to find it within him to forgive her, never mind start up where they’d left off.

But that’s what he wanted. He wanted Iris back. In his life. In his bed. By his side. He hadn’t appreciated her then, but he wouldn’t let even one day go by without making sure she understood how much she meant to him…….if she let him.

Ralph put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. “I’ll make sure she gets home safe. Let her get some sleep, then go see her.”

Barry looked at his friend and nodded absently. The door to the observation room shut behind Ralph and Barry turned his attention back to Iris.

A pane of thick two way glass separated them, but it had been a long three years since he had even been this close to her. He would take what he could get. He watched as an agent opened the door and told Iris he was there to take her home. She stood and reluctantly——-at least it seemed that way to him——removed his jacket and draped it over the back of the chair she had been sitting in.

It took everything in him not to storm out of the observation room and confront her right then and there, but he refrained.

As soon as they’d had time to exit the hallway, Barry opened the door and went into the interrogation room. He picked up his jacket and brought it to his face. He inhaled, and the scent he had missed more than anything made its way into his lungs………and heart.

Iris had always smelled like warm vanilla and coconut. Her lotion and shampoo were infused with it, at least that’s what she always told him when he would complement her on her scent. Shrugging the jacket on and reveling in the way her smell had seeped into the leather even during the short time she’d been wearing it, Barry resolved that tomorrow——-no, later this morning; it was already three-thirty——he would reacquaint himself with the love of his life.

He might have been an asshole and given her up for all the wrong reasons in the past, but that was all over now. He had changed. He wasn’t going to walk away again, not without one hell of a good reason. And the only reason he would walk away was if she was married. He didn’t care if she was dating someone or engaged. Until she was wearing a ring on her finger, she was fair game.

And he planned on doing whatever it took to not only make her forgive him for being a jerk, but to love him once again. She had to——-he couldn’t accept any other outcome.

*************************************************************************************

“Come on, Edward. The coast is clear, we can’t stay here.” Eobard Thawne’s voice was low and calm as he looked at his son. They were hidden in one of the secret passageways under the school, built for such a situation as the one that had occurred tonight.

Edward knew from the moment his father had opened the school they might someday need a way to escape the cops.

Eobard had made the engineer sign a nondisclosure agreement, but after the work was completed, had him killed anyway. He’d justified it by saying there was no way he wanted anyone other than his own flesh and blood knowing about the tunnels.

“Are we going to leave the weapons here?” Edward asked, gesturing back the way they’d come, where an arsenal was stored. Guns, semi automatic rifles, ammunition, rocket propelled grenade launchers……. they had it all.

“For now, yes. But if we need them, we’ll come back for them.”

“Where are we going? Mexico?”

“Eventually, but not yet. I have some unfinished business to attend to first,” Eobard said with a hard glint in his eyes.

Edward remembered being a child and feeling scared when his father got like this. He had simply learned not to question him, and to do whatever he said as soon as he said it. The punishments he had suffered as a kid had been enough to make him extremely careful around his father even today.

The father turned to look at his son then. “I made a mistake, Edward.”

“A mistake, father?”

“Yeah. I hired that black bitch of a nurse and allowed her friend to accompany her when she came to look after the pregnant bitches. I know one of them called the cops on us. Probably the nurse. She ruined what I build here! It’s all her fault I lost my girls. It’s not going to be easy to get new ones, but we will. First, I have to fix my mistake before we start over in Mexico.” He narrowed his eyes at his son. “You once told me you liked that oriental bitch. The black nurse’s friend.” It was a question without sounding like one.

“I don’t like her,” Edward told his father. “She’s too old and loud. But…..I think she would make beautiful baby girls. Girls with long, straight black hair and perfectly round faces. I want them.”

Eobard grinned. “I’m proud of the man you’ve become, Edward. If you want her, my son, you’ll have her. I’ll make sure the nurse can’t tattle on anyone else, then we’ll take the oriental with us to Mexico. She can be the first contributor to our new stable of girls.”

A slow, evil smile spread across Edward’s face. He pushed his too long, greasy blonde hair behind one ear. “Yeah, I like that idea.”

“I thought you might. Come on, son. We need to regroup and visit some of our supporters. We’ll watch and wait for the right time to strike. I’ll find the best way to make Iris West pay for ruining what I built. I don’t know how yet, but mark my words. She’ll wish she had never heard of the Putnam County School and Orphanage for Girls. Or Eobard Thawne.”

The two men slipped out of the tunnels into the trees on the back side of the vast property. Edward had thought his father was crazy for building the tunnels under the school, but now he was glad. Instead of being locked up behind bars, they were on their way to a better life.

He followed behind Eobard silently, thoughts of killing that nosy nurse and little oriental girls swirling through his mind as he walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. As always, comments are very much appreciated, and I look forward to them. And may I say how touched I am that many of you seem to enjoy this story. I hope that continues.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, it has been brought to my attention that in the last chapter when I used a racially charged word I should have used proper trigger warnings. I apologize to anyone that was hurt or offended. I thought I used it in a context that the audience would understand but many were not under that impression. I will try to be better and more diligent in posting trigger warnings. Thank you for your understanding.
> 
> PLEASE NOTE: This chapter includes a flashback scene that has very mature, adult sexual content.

Iris tiptoed into her parents’ house and shut the door quietly behind her. She threw the lock and heaved out a huge sigh. She was numb from everything she had learned after talking with the FBI agent. And stressed. It was extremely selfish of her, especially with everything the poor girls at the school had been through and were still going through, but she couldn’t help but think about the money she wouldn’t be making now.

She had been so close to finally being able to move out of her parents’ house and making it on her own. Hopefully the clinic would let her go back to full-time. But for now, she only had a part-time job. Not only that, but she didn’t have any health insurance at the moment.

That thought was the one that made her heart rate pick up and the panic attack that had been hovering nearly get the best of her. Iris took a deep breath. Then another.

No, she was fine. It wasn’t ideal, but her parents would let her stay as long as she needed. She knew that. Just as she knew they would help her out with any bills that might arise, as they had done in the past.

That didn’t mean she had to like it.

She was twenty six. Well past the age when she should be living on her own.

Iris walked into the living room and glanced at the clock on the wall. Four thirty in the morning. She groaned softly. If she was lucky, she had an hour and a half before she needed to be up.

Detouring to the laundry room, she stripped off her stained scrubs and started the washer before heading to her room in nothing but her underwear. She closed the door to her childhood room and sighed. She made a quick trip to the bathroom, then grabbed the T-shirt she slept in every night. It was way too big to wear in public, but it was perfect to sleep in. The black letters on the front were faded and it had long since lost the smell of its previous owner, but Iris couldn’t bring herself to stop wearing it.

It was stupid.

All she was doing was torturing herself.

But she couldn’t make herself throw the thing out.

The Who T-shirt was all she had left of the man she had once loved with all her heart. She’d been wearing it when he had left. He’d taken every other scrap of clothing, leaving no trace he had ever lived in her apartment. Except for the shirt.

Knowing she was feeling maudlin because of all the excitement from the day, Iris forced herself to crawl under her covers and close her eyes. She didn’t think she’d be able to sleep, not with all the awful things she learned about her former employer running through her mind, but within minutes, she was out.

Iris was on unceremoniously awoken some time later when a small, warm body threw itself on top of her.

Her arms instinctively closed around her two-year-old son even while she was turning to her side. She opened her eyes and looked down at Henry. He was grinning up at her. He put his little hands on her cheeks and said, “It morning, Mommy.”

Iris yawned. “I know, little man. Did you sleep good?”

“Ungry.”

“You’re always hungry.”

He clapped his little hands together and squirmed, trying to get out from under her arm.

She let him up and watched as he scooted his butt to the edge of the bed then turned on his belly. He dropped his legs down and slipped over the side of the mattress. He was a little daredevil for sure. He loved to climb up and down whatever he could. Knowing she had to get up and take care of her little boy, Iris took a deep breath. She hadn’t gotten nearly enough sleep, but mornings were for her and Henry. She loved their routine.

Her parents usually slept in, giving her one on one time with her son, and Linda had quickly learned that mornings were sacred to Iris. With more enthusiasm than she felt, Iris threw back the covers and stumbled out of bed. She needed to get Henry changed and then fix him something to eat.

Her eyes felt as if they were weighted down with lead and she knew if she looked in the mirror, she’d see huge bags under her eyes. She had to go down to the clinic this morning and grovel for her full-time job back, and hoped she’d be able to hide her exhaustion.

Iris made a quick bathroom pitstop then headed for Henry’s room. He knew the drill, he was extremely smart, and she knew he’d be waiting for her. He was.

He had climbed up onto the changing table all by himself and was lying on his back. She’d tried everything in her power to dissuade him from climbing up on the furniture, but when nothing worked, she’d done what she could to make the area around it safer, putting a squishy mat below the changing table and even having her dad shorten the legs. Iris made a mental note to try to speed up his potty training.

As was their routine, Henry was holding a small pillow. As she got to work changing his diaper, he held it out to her. “Kiss daddy.”

Iris dutifully leaned forward and kissed the fabric picture sewn onto the front of the pillow by her mom. “Now you,” she told her son.

Iris smiled as Henry brought the pillow to his own face and kissed/slobbered all over it.

For some reason, the ritual made Iris’s heart hurt that morning.

Her mom hadn’t understood why she had wanted her to make the small pillow for Henry. She’d tried to explain, but wasn’t sure she’d succeeded when her mom had shaken her head and sighed.

Iris wanted Henry to know his daddy. Even if he would never meet him. Even if he would never know him. She wanted her son to know his father was a hero. A man who had given his all to protect innocent people. But mostly, she wanted Henry to know that he was created out of love. That even if his father wasn’t physically in their lives, it didn’t mean Henry wasn’t wanted.

Iris had been shocked to find out a week after Barry had left that she was pregnant. They had been careful with condoms, but there had been one time when they’d both been too excited, too eager to bother. She thought she knew the exact moment they’d created Henry……….

They had been out to eat, and something had happened. Barry suffered from PTSD, even though he’d refused to tell her what had occurred during his last mission. The one that had put him in the facility where they had met. Iris didn’t know what had set him off at the restaurant that night, but he’d been on edge. She had suggested heading home early instead of going to the movies as they’d planned.

They had arrived back at her apartment and he was still obviously not himself. Desperately wanting to help and not really knowing what to do in that moment, Iris grabbed him behind the neck and kissed him as passionately as she could. That was all it took. He immediately took over and she’d found herself stripped of the sundress she had been wearing and naked on the living room floor before she knew what had happened.

Barry had gone down on her, pulling two orgasms from her before sitting up and stripping off his own clothes. He always put her first. He always tried to please her first. Neither of them had spoken, the moment too intense for that. He’d brought her to her feet, laid her on the couch cushions with one of her legs propped up high in his hand, then he took her. Hard. Rough. Deep.

And it had felt amazing.

She had never been as turned on as she was that night. Barry had pounded into her as if she was the only thing holding him together. And she’d loved it.

But even as he’d taken her how he wanted, he hadn’t been selfish. One of his hands had snaked around her body and fingered her clit, making sure she came with him. Then, after he had exploded deep inside her, and she thought they were done, he’d stood, picked her up as if she weighed nothing at all, and carried her into her bedroom.

There, he’d made slow, sweet love to her, wringing another orgasm out of her before planting his cock as deep as he could go and looking into her eyes as he’d emptied himself inside her once more.

They hadn’t talked about it afterwords. Hadn’t discussed the fact that he didn’t use a condom. The next time they’d had sex, and every time after that, he’d made sure he used one.

Iris knew without a doubt they had created their son during that intense night when she tried to help Barry fight his demons.

She had loved Barry Allen with every fiber of her being. And, even though he had left her without looking back, she wanted his son to love him too. So, she had her mom make the special pillow. One Henry could hold, hug, and not worry about breaking.

She told her son stories about how brave his daddy was. How handsome. He would have questions later. He would want to know why his daddy wasn’t there. Why he had left. Iris wasn’t sure what she’d tell him. She didn’t want to lie and tell him that his daddy was dead, but she also didn’t want him to ever feel anything other than love and pride for his father.

Iris had put pictures of Barry all around their son’s room. Everywhere she looked, she was confronted with his handsome face. It was torture, but she’d done it for Henry. The little boy looked exactly like his dad. Medium brown hair that, at the moment was too long and sat in large curls all over his head. He’d inherited her soulful brown eyes and her chocolate skin mixed with Barry’s pale complexion gave Henry a light caramel hue, but his lips, nose, cheekbones, chin and even his ears were all Barry’s.

Tears welled up in Iris’s eyes as she finished changing the diaper. She normally didn’t get so sentimental, but after hearing about how awful the babies lives were who’d lived at that school, and because she was so tired, she couldn’t stop the tears that fell down her cheeks.

“Mama sad?” Henry asked, bringing the small pillow up to her face. “Daddy help.”

Iris choked back a bitter laugh. If only.

She allowed her son to press the pillow against her face a couple times, then pulled back. She lifted him and grunted with fake exertion. “Man, you’re getting big, little man!” She placed him on his chubby feet and wasn’t surprised when he took off for the door. Her son hated wearing clothes. He much preferred to walk around in nothing but his diaper, and if he could get away with it, he’d tear that off too.

She put his dirty overnight diaper in the trash can and picked up one of his shirts and a pair of shorts, then followed her son down to the kitchen.

Later, when her mom wandered down the stairs, Iris had managed to get Henry into his shirt and fed. They’d had snuggle and story time and he was now watching a cartoon.

“Hey, Mom,” Iris said.

“Hey, baby,” Francine West said, stopping to kiss her daughter on the head as she went past the couch on her way to the kitchen. She poured a cup of coffee, then came back into the living room and sat next to her daughter. “You okay?”

Iris wasn’t surprised her mom knew something was up.

“Yeah. Just tired.”

“What time did you get in last night?”

Iris cringed. “Four thirty.”

Her mom’s eyebrows shot up. “Seriously?”

She nodded. Her mom didn’t demand to know why, but Iris didn’t expect her to. Her mom had always been pretty laid-back. Oh, she wasn’t a pushover, but she had learned over the years to let her daughter share on her terms.

Iris took a sip of the lukewarm coffee in her cup and sighed. “You know that new job that was too good to be true?”

“Yes.”

“It was too good to be true.” Then she went on to tell her mom everything she’d learned about the Putnam County School and Orphanage for Girls, making sure Henry was fully engrossed in the show and speaking quietly so he didn’t overhear.

“Oh, baby girl, I’m so sorry.”

“I…….” Iris swallowed hard before continuing. “I’m going to need to stay here longer than I thought.”

“You’re welcome here as long as you want. This will always be a home for you. You know that,” Francine said gently.

Tears sprang to Iris’s eyes. “I know, but I can’t help but feel as if I’m interfering with you and Daddy‘s life. I should be living on my own. It’s not fair that you have to help me raise my son. You already did your time with dirty diapers and a messy house.” She waved her hand at the room, indicating the toys that were scattered everywhere on the floor in front of them.

“Look at me,” her mom demanded.

Iris took a deep breath and did as ordered.

“Having you and Henry here is a gift. Being able to get to know my grandson as well as I do is not a hardship. I love having him, and you, here.”

“And Linda too?” Iris joked.

“Linda too,” her mom said immediately. “I’ve always liked her, you know that. And honestly, I’m thrilled she’s here to give you a friend to talk to you. I’m more than aware of what a hermit you are, Iris. You go to work and come straight home. You never go out, and you spend all your time talking to Henry. He’s great, but you need friends too. Since she’s been here, you’ve changed. Relaxed more. It’s a good thing.”

“There’s something else,” Iris said, not wanting to keep this from her mom.

“What is it sweet girl?”

“The agent last night said Eobard and his son are missing. They weren’t arrested after the raid.”

Francine stiffened. “Are you in danger?”

Leave it to her mom to cut to the chase. “The agent doesn’t think so. He said they would probably be trying to get as far from Central City as they could get. But, he also said that if necessary, I could have some sort of protection detail.”

“Good,” her mom said. “The last thing you need is to worry about being snatched off the street by those assholes.”

“Mom!” Iris exclaimed. “You never swear!”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t really have much to swear about before now.”

Iris couldn’t help it. She giggled. Her mom was kind of funny.

“This isn’t funny.”

Iris sobered. “I know it’s not. But I didn’t know anything about what was happening right under my nose. There’s no reason for Eobard to be mad at me. I was totally clueless.”

“You’ll take the protection if you need it, though,” her mom ordered.

“Of course I will. I’m not an idiot, Mom.”

“Good.”

Iris gave her mom a weak smile. “I have to go to the clinic this morning. See if I can grovel enough to get my full-time hours back. Get back on their insurance.”

“You’re exhausted. Are you sure you can’t take today off?”

Iris tiredly shook her head. “I’m sure. I don’t think an FBI raid on my new place of employment is an acceptable reason not to be at work.”

Francine reached out and took the cup of coffee from Iris‘s hands. “Well, go on then. Take a long hot shower, you’ll feel better afterwards. I’ll take Henry out this afternoon so when you get back, you can take a nice long nap.”

Iris smiled. “Thanks, Mom.”

“I love you, baby. You’re one of the strongest people I know, and I’m not just saying that because I wiped your butt when you were little.”

Iris laughed and stood. “Thanks, I think.”

“All I’m saying is……this too shall pass. It sucks right now. It’s hard. But we’ll always have your back. Okay?”

All she could do was nod. If she tried to say anything, she would burst into tears. Trudging up the stairs to her room, Iris could only be thankful things had turned out how they had. Last night could’ve been very different if Eobard had expanded her duties. If she’d known more about what was going on at the school, she might be a lot more scared right now and in a lot more trouble. So many “ifs“ in her life.

Taking a deep breath, Iris tried to remember that she truly believed everything happened for a reason.

The love of her life had broken her heart, but had also given her Henry.

Having a truly awful pregnancy had brought her closer to her parents.

The things she had gone through in Henry’s first year of life had led her to her new career.

She didn’t know the reason behind her being hired by Eobard, but she truly hoped it wasn’t something bad.

Maybe it was a lack of sleep or maybe it was just residual feelings of unease from being interrogated last night, but she had a feeling something big was just around the corner. Something good-big or something bad-big, she wasn’t sure yet.

Shaking her head and deciding to just go with the flow, Iris stepped into the shower and tried to wake herself up. She had to get through a long morning shift at the clinic, then an uncomfortable talk with her boss. She needed to be on her toes, no matter how much she simply wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that chapter. As many of my very astute readers already guessed Iris and Barry have a child together, and this dynamic will further complicate their reunion. Comments are welcomed and appreciated. Thank you for continuing with this story. I hope you enjoy what’s next.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry goes to see Iris.

Barry had spoken with his supervisor and managed to get a week’s vacation on short notice. Lord knew he had the time saved up. It had been a while since he’d requested to take any time off, and since his supervisor knew he’d been working a lot of overtime surveilling the “School of Horrors,” as the press had dubbed the Putnam County School and Orphanage for Girls, he had granted the request without a quibble.

He had no doubt if Iris ended up needing full-time protection, Ralph would get in touch with his supervisor and set it up so he could be the one assigned to her. The FBI wouldn’t need to pay him overtime, he’d continue to take his regular pay to do it. It might be a lot of red tape and maybe a pain in the ass for Ralph, but Barry didn’t care. He was, hands down, the best person to protect Iris because he genuinely cared what happened to her.

Deep down, Barry knew it would take more than a week to get back into Iris’s good graces, but once he had made the decision to try, he couldn’t put it off. Didn’t want to put it off. He’d made a mistake in not contacting her before now. He’d used excuse after excuse to justify keeping his distance from her or even looking her up to see where she was living.

But the bottom line was, he’d been an idiot. He hadn’t been with a woman since Iris. He hadn’t wanted to be with anyone else. He’d had plenty of offers, but no one made his heart race like she had.

He knew it probably wasn’t the same for her. Iris was so beautiful. Not only that, she was a good person. To the core. Any man would be lucky to have her, even if it was for a short time. Barry hated the thought of her being with anyone else, but he had to be honest with himself. She was beautiful and he had left her. She’d probably dated plenty of men since he’d disappeared.

But ultimately, it didn’t matter. As he had decided earlier, the only way he’d back off was if she was married. He didn’t even care if she was engaged. It made him an ass, he knew that. What kind of asshole would try to interfere with an engaged couple?

Him. He would.

He’d just have to remind Iris of their good times. Prove to her he was a changed man. That the shell of an operative she’d met back in that rehabilitation hospital was different now. He had found his calling with the Central City Police Department.

There was some danger, which called to the daredevil that lived deep inside him, but he no longer had to kill on a daily basis. Even if those he had killed were determined to kill innocent people, even women and children.

Refusing to think about that last day, the mission that had sent him back to the States and landed him in the rehabilitation hospital in the first place, Barry took a deep breath and focused on the clinic in front of him. He’d been watching for an hour now, waiting for Iris to come out. He didn’t have a plan, which was unlike him. He always had a plan. But she’d done that to him. Made him live in the here and now rather than in the future. She made him stop and enjoy what was happening in the moment. It was one of the many things he loved and missed about her.

He needed her in his life. Needed her optimism. Needed her goodness to counter the awful things he had done. Hell, he just simply needed her.

Just when he didn’t think he would be able to keep himself from barging into the clinic, she came out.

She looked tired——really tired. As he watched, she scrubbed a hand over her face and her shoulders slumped.

Barry was on the move before he’d even thought about what he was doing.

He wanted to ease her burdens. Take care of her. Make sure she was eating and getting enough sleep. It was silly, she’d always been able to take care of herself. She took care of him more than he had ever taken care of her, but he wanted to change that. Needed to. It was a bone deep conviction that he wanted to be the man she turned to when she was upset, angry, sad, as well as happy.

He was striding toward her and standing in front of her before he’d figure out what he was going to say. He opened his mouth, but didn’t get the chance to say anything before she looked up and saw him.

For a second, she simply stared at him.

Then turned on her heel and walked away without a word.

Startled, as that wasn’t the response he had expected——not that he knew what her response was going to be, though he wouldn’t have been surprised if she smacked him—- Barry strode after her.

When he caught up to her, he said the words that have been festering in his soul since the day he walked out. “I’m sorry, Doc. I’m so incredibly sorry. I shouldn’t have left. I should’ve talked to you, explained what was wrong with me. I’ve missed you every damn day since I walked out. Regretted it even more.”

She stopped abruptly, and Barry almost tripped over her, but caught himself at the last second. Iris turned, hands on her hips, glaring up at him. She was so petite, especially next to him. At six one he wasn’t super tall, but compared to her five foot four, he was a giant. He loved how she fit against him, as if she were made just for him.

“You’re an asshole,” she told him.

“I know,” he agreed.

His immediate acquiescence threw her, he could tell. He pressed on. “I went back to your apartment ready to throw myself on your mercy. To apologize. But you were gone. Poof. Without a trace. Your landlord wouldn’t tell me anything, and your neighbors were just as closed-lipped.”

She looked up at him in confusion. “You came back?”

“Yeah, Doc. I never should’ve left in the first place, but I came back. And you were gone. I asked around, but no one knew where you were, or they wouldn’t say. I should’ve dug deeper, but I didn’t have time.”

He could tell she wanted to ask, and was impressed when she merely shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”

He went on, wanting to explain everything before she told him to go to hell. “After I left, I got shit-faced drunk. I didn’t have anywhere to go and felt like dog shit for leaving without a word. I woke up in an alley with two men going through my pockets, trying to rob me blind. I was too drunk to fend them off, but luckily there was a law enforcement convention going on that weekend. Two CCPD officers who were attending the conference chased the robbers off and took pity on me. I have no idea why, but they hauled my ass out of that alley and back to their apartment. They threw me in the shower, saw The Agency tattoo on my back, and when I woke up—-on the floor, by the way—- they got me some coffee, then forced me to talk. Refused to let me leave until I explained why I’d been so drunk that I let myself pass out in a dangerous alley.”

Barry took a breath, then continued. He had not told this story to another person since the day it had happened, and he knew he only had another minute or so to get to the point before Iris shook herself out of her surprised stupor and took off on him.

“I told them everything. About my last mission. About my injuries. About you. About leaving. They told me I was a dumbass then promised to help me…..if I wanted it. I almost told them to fuck off, but then I remembered how you always used to tell me that everything happens for a reason. That I’d been hurt because it allowed us to meet. I wanted to believe you. So I agreed. I signed up to attend the next detective academy. The men who’d picked my worthless ass off the street were from National City. They introduced me to a couple friends of theirs who were stationed in Keystone, and suddenly I found myself living in a crappy motel and working my butt off every day to get in shape for the academy. I had to pass a ton of tests, and I think one of my new friends pulled some strings, but I was accepted. Before I was set to start training, I went back for you. But you were gone. I wanted to look for you, but I was about to start a six-month intensive program. I vowed to find you after I graduated, but I was a coward and didn’t.”

He stared at Iris, willing her to believe him. To give him another chance. “There hasn’t been one day that’s gone by that I haven’t thought about you. Wondered where you were. Who you were with. What you were doing.”

She sighed. “You left without saying goodbye. Without a note. Nothing. I thought you were hurt, sick….. dead. And you let me suffer that way.”

Barry knew this would be hard, but he had no idea how hard. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry just doesn’t cut it,” Iris said in a harsh tone.

“Where’d you go?” He asked.

“Too little, too late,” she told him. “Go away. Please. Leave me alone. You’ve done enough. I can’t endure what you put me through again.”

“No,” Barry told her in no uncertain terms. “I’m not going away. I’m going to make amends for everything I’ve done.”

“Don’t you get it? I don’t want you to make amends,” she said, her chest heaving with emotion. “There’s nothing to make amends for. We’re done. It’s over!” She flung her arm out as she spoke. “I hate you, Barry! I hate what you did to me! Hate what I suffered through because of you. I don’t like to even think about that time in my life. I’ve moved on.”

He reached out and snagged her hand in midair and held it in front of him. His thumb brushed back and forth over the base of her ring finger. Her blessedly empty ring finger. “Are you married?”

“What? No.”

One side of his mouth twitched up in a satisfied smile. “Then I’m not leaving,” he insisted. “Everything happens for a reason, that’s what you always said. Well, I got a call from an acquaintance in Keystone. He informed me about a possible dangerous situation in my district. He’d gotten a call from Daniel Park up in Star City, who was worried about his niece. Turns out she was good friends with a Iris West. Can you imagine how it felt to hear your name after all that time? We’ve come full circle——and I have another chance to prove to you how much you mean to me.”

“Don’t,” Iris begged, trying to pull her hand from his. “Just leave me alone.”

“I watched over that school for several weeks, Doc. Saw you coming and going, and it killed me to do nothing but sit there. That place was bad news, and every time you set foot in there, you were in danger. I fucking hated it, but I did what I was told and stood back, giving the FBI as much information as I could, if only to make them move faster and get you out of there.”

“You were there last night, weren’t you?” Iris asked, her voice quivering. “When I was being questioned.”

“Yeah, Doc. I was there. Ralph is a friend of mine. I told him to go easy on you, and he did, until he let you think you were going to jail.” Barry took a deep breath and tried to get a hold of himself. “Give me a week. Talk to me. Ask me anything. I’ll tell you everything you want to know. Everything I refused to tell you three years ago. I’m an open book to you. Give me a chance.”

Iris swallowed and shook her head. “I can’t.”

“You can. I’m not going anywhere this time, Doc. I have a full-time job, I’m a detective with the Central City PD. No one knows where Eobard and his son are. I’m going to make sure you’re safe until they’re caught and put behind bars.”

Her eyes widened in shock. “Please tell me you aren’t the protection the FBI guy talked about last night….. er…... this morning.”

Barry nodded. “I am. I volunteered. There’s a chance they’re long gone, but there’s no way in hell I’m going to let them hurt one hair on your beautiful head.”

“Great, just great,” she mumbled.

“I am here to stay, Doc. I’ll take things as slowly as you need me to. Just give me a chance. Please.”

He was getting to her, he could tell. Shifting his hold on her hand, he stepped a little closer and rubbed his thumb against her palm this time, remembering how much she used to love it when he did that when they’d held hands. Her vanilla scent wafted up to him, and he almost felt dizzy smelling it once again. It brought back so many amazing memories, it made his heart hurt.

Just when he thought she was going to agree, Iris ripped her hand from his grasp and took a step away from him.

“No. You hurt me so bad, Barry. You have no idea what I’ve been through since you left.”

“Then tell me,” he begged. “Let me make it up to you.”

“You can’t.” She actually sounded sad. “Leave me alone.”

She began to step away, not turning her back on him, as if he was a wild animal she had to keep her eye on.

“I’m not giving up, Iris. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Iris pressed her lips together and shook her head, but didn’t say anything.

Barry let her back away from him, and when she turned and practically fled down the sidewalk, he didn’t follow. He watched as she climbed into a dark green minivan parked in a public lot across the street. An older man sat in the driver’s seat, watching him. Barry knew it was her dad, remembered him from pictures in Iris’s apartment.

He wasn’t holding back now. She might’ve said she hated him, but the look in her eyes and the way she’d leaned toward him rather than away belied those words. No matter how long it took, he’d be patient and prove to her once and for all that he wasn’t the man he used to be. He was better.

She had to forgive him. She just had to. The alternative was unthinkable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did you all like that chapter? Despite all the angst I hope you enjoyed it. I want to sincerely express my gratitude to everyone that continues to read this story and provide such wonderful comments. I really do appreciate it. Any comments you have on this chapter are welcome. I have completed the next chapter in which we are introduced to Joe and Iris shares something with him that completely takes him by surprise. It’s a very short chapter so I’m unsure if I should post it today or wait until I finish chapter 9 and post them together. I feel the subject matter of chapters 8 and 9 go better together. Up to my readers, let me know if you would like an additional chapter this weekend. On a personal note, my anxiety has been very hard to manage lately with everything going on. I’ve been escaping in my writing. I hope you all are well. Take care of yourselves. Be safe. My love and positivity to you all.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe and Iris have a frank and important conversation about Barry and Henry.

“That was him, wasn’t it?”

Iris sighed. Her dad wasn’t going to give it up. She adored him, but he was super protective of those he loved. And he was stubborn. Probably where she’d gotten it from.

“Yeah, dad. That was him.”

“What does he want? Is it about Henry? Is he trying to intimidate you into letting him have custody? Well, that’s not going to happen. Not as long as I have anything to say about it! I’ll refinance the damn house eight times over before I let anyone take our little boy away. Hell no.”

Iris didn’t want to smile, but she couldn’t help it. She reached over and patted her dad on the shoulder. “Calm down, Dad. He doesn’t want custody of Henry.”

“Why not? He doesn’t want a black son? Or does that idiot not think he’s the father?”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what? Talk to me, Iris.”

She sighed again, then blurted out the truth. “He doesn’t know about him.”

There was a long pause, and Iris was scared to look at her dad. She fiddled with her fingers in her lap.

“What?”

“He doesn’t know about him. I……he left before I knew I was pregnant. I never saw him again until today.”

“Baby girl…….” Her dad‘s tone had turned sad….and even a little accusatory. “I can’t say I like the man, not after what he did. The way he left you. But your mom and I thought all along that he knew. That he chose not to be a part of his son’s life. As much as I hate to say it, baby, he deserves to know. Then we can decide what to do depending on how he reacts.”

“I know,” Iris said quietly. And she did. She’d been so surprised to see him, and it brought back so many hurt feelings she’d thought she had dealt with. The last thing she had been thinking about was telling the man she still loved that he had a son.

“What did he want if it wasn’t about Henry?”

“He apologized for leaving. Told me some of what happened. He wants to talk to me more.”

After another long pause, when she didn’t elaborate, her dad asked, “And?”

“I told him no.”

“That’s your right,” her dad said.

Iris relaxed. She loved the support her parents always gave her. No matter what decisions she had made, they had been behind her one thousand percent. “I don’t think he’s going to take no for an answer,” she admitted softly.

“I don’t think he is either,” her dad said.

Iris‘s head whipped up and she stared at her dad. “You don’t? Why?”

“I saw the way he was looking at you. With longing, remorse, and regret.”

“You could see all that from all the way across the street?” She asked dubiously, not sure what to believe anymore. Barry had sounded sincere, but she’d trusted him once, and he had hurt her more than she’d ever thought possible. She couldn’t do it again.

“What I saw was a man determined to right a wrong. I thought he was being intense because he wanted his son, but if he doesn’t know about Henry, then that’s not what was happening.”

“He said he’ll be the one assigned to protect me until Eobard and Edward are arrested.”

“I have no doubt he’ll do what it takes to keep you safe.”

“He hurt me, Daddy,” Iris said quietly. 

“I know. And that makes me want to beat that fucker into the ground.”

Iris held back the chuckle that wanted to escape. Her dad wasn’t exactly The Rock. He was an inch shorter than Barry and definitely wasn’t in any kind of shape to be taking on anyone. His gut was slightly prominent on his frame and he’d only get hurt if he got into any real altercation. But the fact that he wanted to hurt Barry actually made Iris feel good. Protected.

“I’m not sure you could beat him up,” Iris said dryly.

“I know. But I’d give it my best shot if it came to that. I can’t deny I’d feel better knowing he would be looking out for you until those men are put behind bars where they belong. But, honey, you need to tell him about his son. Even if nothing else comes from you talking to him, he deserves to know. Not only that……. but Henry deserves to know his father. I’m not saying that young man will even want to be in his son’s life, but it’s his decision to make. Not yours.”

Her dad was right, Iris knew he was, but it scared the hell out of her.

“Besides, I think you need to talk to him for your own sake.”

“Why?”

“Why? Iris, Henry’s room is filled with pictures of his father. He carries that little pillow around with him everywhere. You tell your son bedtime stories about how brave and good his father is. You wouldn’t do any of that if you didn’t still have feelings for the man.”

Iris swallowed. Hard. Her dad was right. Of course he was.

“What are you scared of?” Joe West asked softly. “If he tries to take him from you, we’ll take him to court. He hasn’t paid a cent in child support in two years. He wasn’t there when you were sick. He hasn’t changed one diaper, sat up one night with Henry when he cried, nothing. He’s not going to get custody.”

“I’m not afraid of that,” Iris said honestly.

“Then what?”

She blinked back the tears in her eyes. “I still love him. Even after he left without a word. What if I let him back in and he leaves again or decides I’ve changed too much and doesn’t want anything to do with me? If I tell him about Henry, I might have to see him for the rest of my life. I’m not sure I could handle it if he married someone else and had kids with her. It would tear me apart, Daddy.”

Her father didn’t say a word as he pulled into the driveway of the huge suburban house he’d bought for his wife so many years ago. He turned off the engine and reached a hand out to his daughter. Palming her cheek, he said, “If you forgive him and let him back into your life, there’s no way he’ll be able to resist falling back in love with you.”

Iris wanted to believe him. Wanted to believe it with every fiber of her being, but she honestly wasn’t so sure. Barry had left her so easily before, what would prevent him from doing it once more? If she let him back into her life, and their son’s, and he left again, it wouldn’t just be her heart broken this time. She knew that like she knew she needed oxygen to breathe.

She didn’t respond to her dad’s words, but he didn’t seem to expect her to. He merely ran his hand over the top of her head as he used to do all the time when she was little and climbed out of the van.

After taking a deep breath, Iris did the same. Eager to get inside, see her baby boy, and not think about anything for a while. Her mom had promised to take Henry out of the house so she could take a nap, and that’s just what she was going to do. Not think about Eobard Thawne, his son, the awful things that had been done to the girls at the school, her job at the clinic that she still didn’t know if she’d get back, and certainly not Bartholomew Henry Allen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that chapter. As I stated before, this is a short chapter and I will be posting chapter nine immediately after posting this one. My sincere thanks to everyone that has been so supportive of this story by continuing to read and share your comments. It means a lot. I hope everyone is staying safe, healthy and able to find some peace amongst this chaos.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry makes a shocking discovery.

“You sure this is a good idea? Using police resources for your personal benefit.” Cisco Ramon asked Barry.

“Yes.” Barry’s answer was short and to the point. He had called his best friend for some moral support. He’d told Cisco everything that had happened over the last month. That he had been watching the school, seeing Iris again, and last night, getting her contact information from the law enforcement database. He’d been there when Cisco had met Kamilla for the first time, and for some reason he’d felt his friend would understand what he was going through.

“You haven’t ever mentioned this girl before,” Cisco said.

“Because I thought she was a part of my past. I didn’t think I’d ever see her again.”

“But now you have.”

“Now I have,” Barry agreed. “In a nutshell, I met her when I was in the rehabilitation hospital after I got hurt in Russia. We lived together for a couple of months before I made the worst decision of my life.”

“Let me guess,” Cisco said dryly. “You thought she was too good for you. That’d you fuck up her life. So you left.”

Barry huffed out a breath. “Yeah, that’s about it.”

“Good luck then, man. You’re going to need it.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be all supportive and shit?” Barry asked grumpily. “That’s why I called.”

“I am being supportive. Would you rather I lie and tell you that I think this will be a cakewalk?”

“No. But you know, maybe a little bit of positivity wouldn’t go amiss here.”

“I could tell the second you said her name that you’re serious about this woman, Barry. I absolutely will not blow smoke up your ass about her or the situation. If I thought you didn’t give one damn about her, I would have told you to have a one night stand and get her out of your system, but this one’s different.”

“Yeah,” Barry agreed. “She is.”

“Right, so I’m gonna be straight with you. And by the way, I want to meet her. And I’m sure Kamilla will too,” Cisco said.

“I think it’s a bit early to be setting up meet and greets,” Barry returned.

“I didn’t mean today, dumb ass. After she forgives you. After you’re back in her good graces.”

Barry couldn’t help but smile. Cisco couldn’t see it, of course, but it felt really good that his friend was absolutely certain he could get Iris to forgive him. “Deal.”

“Call me later,” Cisco ordered. “I want to hear more about this God awful child abuse ring.” 

Being reminded about Eobard Thawne and his equally perverted son—— and the fact that Iris and her friend had been in the middle of that chaos——made his teeth clench. “I will. Ralph thinks the perverts who ran the place are long gone, but I’ve got a bad feeling about them. They slipped away in the raid, and so far, no one can find them. I don’t think Iris needs full-time protection, but I’m doing what I can to keep my eye out for her in the meantime.”

“Damn. Anything you need, all you have to do is ask,” CIsco said.

“Appreciate it. She’s at the clinic now, but I’m going to head over there after she gets off. I’ll let you know if I think I need to step up my surveillance.”

“You better. You would do it for me or any of our friends in law enforcement. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Later.” Barry hung up and took a deep breath and looked at the clock. He had a couple hours to kill before Iris would get off at the clinic. He knew she’d been working mornings downtown ever since she took the job at the school. He was betting on the fact that she’d head home after her shift, and that was where he was planning on attempting to talk to her.

She wasn’t going to be happy when he simply showed up at her parents house, but he had been serious when he told her he wasn’t giving up. He was going to do whatever it took to make sure she knew how sorry he was. 

***********

Barry climbed out of his maroon vintage Mustang and strode toward the front door with determination. The neighborhood was older and very well-kept. The house was a two-story, probably around five thousand square feet. Big, especially for a couple who only had one child, but Francine and Joe’s reasons for having such a large house were the least of his worries at the moment.

He was nervous. Determined, but nervous. The last time he had seen Iris it hadn’t gone well, and showing up on her doorstep probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but he couldn’t stay away. He needed to reassure her that he was serious about making amends and having her back in his life.

He pushed the doorbell and stepped back, making sure he could be seen through the peephole. The last thing he wanted to do was worry her parents.

The time it took for someone to answer the door seemed like an eternity, but finally it opened. An older woman, probably in her early 50s, stood there. Barry would recognize Iris’s mother anywhere. She and her daughter looked a lot alike.

She was probably a couple inches taller than Iris, but had the same beautiful warm brown complexion and soulful eyes. Barry swallowed and had the brief thought that this was what Iris would look like in twenty five years. And he wanted to be by her side to see it.

“Good afternoon, ma’am. My name is Barry Allen, and I’m here to see your daughter.”

She stared at him for a long moment, a worried look on her face. Then she glanced behind her. When she turned to him again, she was biting her lip.

Barry didn’t like the vibe she was giving off. He immediately went on alert. Was there an intruder in the house who had forced her to open the door? Was Iris all right? He couldn’t stop his mind from going there, not with his background and training. 

“Now isn’t a good time, young man.”

Barry blinked. He had suspected that he wouldn’t be a welcome sight on their doorstep, but he hadn’t expected an outright snub. “I apologize for showing up unannounced, but I really do need to see Iris.”

“I don’t think now is———-”

Whatever she was going to say was interrupted by the high-pitched, happy squeal of a toddler. A little boy ran past Francine West and out the door.

Acting on instinct, Barry crouched down and snatched the fast-moving child.

He let out an ‘umph’ as the toddler hit him, but his arms closed around the small body protectively, keeping him safe from tumbling down the stairs at the front of the house.

“Henry, come back here! You know you’re———“ Iris’s voice halted mid-sentence as she appeared next to her mom.

Her eyes had been filled with laughter, but Barry saw panic replace the carefree, happy look on her face when she saw him.

Barry put his hands on the boy’s upper arms and held him steady in front of him. “Looks like you’ve got a runner on……….”

His voice trailed off as he got a good look at the child. He was naked except for a diaper. He had medium brown hair, with a touch of auburn, beautiful brown eyes.

His gaze went from the boy to Iris in shock.

The three adults stared at each other without a word for a long moment before the boy broke the silence.

“Daddy!”

Barry swallowed hard as he looked into eyes so like Iris’s, it was uncanny. The toddler had her soulful brown eyes….but he could see parts of himself in the boy’s face as well, especially the shape of his nose and chin.

Barry didn’t need the child’s exclamation to prove what he knew in his heart was true.

This was his son.

His. Son.

“Daddy!” The boy squealed again.

“Hi,” Barry managed. Then the little boy did something that made Barry’s battle hardened heart crack down the middle. He threw his little arms around his neck and squeezed.

Barry couldn’t have said anything at that moment if his life depended on it. All he could do was wrap one arm around the little boy and hug him back. Of course, being two, the toddler didn’t tolerate being confined for long. He giggled, pulled back, and ran back inside the house, past his mom and grandmother, who were standing as still as statues.

Barry slowly stood, trying to process what had just happened.

“I think you should come in,” Francine finally said.

Barry nodded, still too choked up to say a word.

He followed the women into the house, passed a formal dining room, through and obviously remodeled kitchen and into a spacious living room. There were toys strewn all over the floor, and a half eaten muffin on the low coffee table, along with a sippy cup.

Henry was standing in front of the television, dancing along to an animated movie playing on the screen. His little butt bobbed up and down and his arms occasionally raised to make a sort of flapping motion. It was the cutest thing Barry had ever seen.

Linda was sitting on the couch, and her eyes widen in disbelief when she saw him enter the room. “I can take him upstairs to———”

“No,” Barry interrupted, suddenly afraid that if he lost sight of the boy, he would never see him again.

“It’s okay. Mom, Linda, give us some space please?” Iris asked quietly.

The two women nodded immediately. “I’ll be in the kitchen,” Francine said.

“I’ll just…….um……..I’ll be upstairs,” Linda told everyone.

Barry didn’t watch the others go, he only had eyes for his son. He knew Iris’s mom would probably be able to hear whatever they talked about, but he couldn’t care about that right now.

He had a son. A son.

Barry slowly sat on the edge of an arm chair and watched his son dance.

“I wasn’t purposely keeping him from you.”

Barry took a deep breath and shut his eyes, trying to control his emotions. He wasn’t sure what he felt. Joy. Excitement. Bitterness that he’d missed so much of his son’s life. Anger. “How old is he?” Barry asked in a low voice.

“Twenty five months.”

Two years. He had missed two years. “And his name is Henry?”

“I always loved your middle name,” Iris was confirmed.

Barry’s eyes popped open and he turned to Iris in surprise. “You named him after me?”

He watched as Iris licked her lips nervously, but she held his eyes. “Yeah, I don’t know any other Henry’s.”

Before he could say anything, Henry waddled over to where Barry was sitting and started to climb onto his lap. In surprise, Barry opened his legs, giving the toddler room to maneuver, and wrapped an arm around the little boy when he settled against him. When Henry was comfortable, he rested his head on his dad’s chest and stuck a thumb in his mouth, content to watch the movie from his lap.

“Why isn’t he scared of me?” Barry asked Iris quietly.

Iris looked away from him then, as if embarrassed. “You are not a stranger to him.”

“Why?”

“I made sure he knew you. Knew that his daddy was a hero.”

“How?” Barry knew his questions sounded abrupt, maybe harsh, but he couldn’t help it. He’d come here to try to convince Iris to give him a second chance, only to find out he was a father. All the speeches he had prepared in his mind had disappeared like puffs of smoke the second he’d looked into his son’s eyes.

“Pictures. Stories.” She shrugged. “I didn’t know where you were, Barry. You disappeared without a word. I figured someday he’d want to know his father, and as much as you hurt me, I was proud of you. Still am.”

Barry had so many questions——-questions only Iris had the answers to——but with the slight weight of his son in his arms, he didn’t want to move, and he definitely didn’t think the boy should be privy to the inevitable conversation.

So for the next twenty minutes, he kept his eyes on his son while the boy watched television. Barry reveled in the emotions that crossed his son’s tiny face. Happiness, delight, humor, seriousness.

His mind was spinning. He’d made a human. A tiny person. It was mind-boggling.

Even though he had been blindsided, this was the best day of his life.

He couldn’t think beyond this moment. Had no idea what would happen in the future, but he knew without a doubt that he would remember today for the rest of his life. It wasn’t the way most men found out they were fathers, obviously, but he cherished the experience for what it was.

When the credits began to play on the television screen, Henry squirmed in his lap. Reluctantly, Barry lifted the boy and placed him on his feet on the floor in front of the chair. His son looked up at him for a moment and smiled. “Daddy,” he said matter of factly, then turned and raced toward the kitchen screaming for his “Mee-ma.”

Barry’s eyes followed his son until he couldn’t see him any longer, then he finally turned to Iris. He wanted to hate her. Wanted to rail at her for keeping his son from him. Wanted to know if she had ever planned on telling him…….but the words wouldn’t come. He was simply too overwhelmed.

“I was going to tell you,” she said softly, as if she could read his mind.

“You should’ve told me long before now.”

Her eyes met is, and instead of seeing remorse, he saw anger. It surprised him.

“Really? When, Barry? When should I have told you? I had no idea where you were. You walked out on me.”

“Did you even try to find me?” He asked, the anger and disappointment he felt at being blindsided by the knowledge she’d had his son leaking through his words.

“Yeah, I did.” Her words were just as angry. “I called the hospitals, police stations, even the fucking morgue to see if maybe you had been hurt or killed, and that’s why you hadn’t gotten ahold of me. To my disappointment and despair, I finally figured out that you hadn’t been in an accident. You weren’t dead. You’d simply gotten tired of me and left.”

The emotion in her words got to him, and made his own anger dissipate a little. “I didn’t get tired of you.”

She snorted in disbelief. “You could have fooled me.”

“I didn’t,” he insisted. “I was a mess. I was so angry back then. You didn’t deserve that. I wanted to be the man you needed, instead of a man you had to deal with.”

“I would have done anything for you,” she said sadly.

“Don’t you get it? I didn’t want to drag you down with my issues.”

She didn’t respond that time, just stared at him.

“But I was wrong.”

She blinked in surprise.

“Yeah, I can admit it. I told you before, I realized it within a week of leaving. It took me a few more weeks to man up and go back to you, but by then, you were gone.”

She nodded. “I couldn’t stay. Not in that apartment, where I saw you everywhere I looked. My sheets still smelled like you.”

“I wish you would have tried harder to find me,” he said sadly.

It was apparently the wrong thing to say. Iris stood and glared down at him. “Yeah? When should I have done that? When I was throwing up from the morning sickness I had all freaking day? Oh, I know, maybe when I started bleeding so badly, I thought I had lost my baby. Or how about when I had to quit my job at the rehabilitation hospital and move back here because I was put on bed rest? I had to be waited on hand and foot because I was scared if I moved even an inch in the wrong direction, I’d kill our son. How about when I started labor four weeks early and my parents had to rush me to the hospital? Or when Henry wasn’t breathing when they finally got him out? Maybe I should’ve been trying to find you then, huh?”

“Doc,” Barry said softly, trying to stop her tirade, with no luck.

“Or maybe you think I should have resumed the search for my baby’s daddy——after he left without a fucking word—-when I was up trying to soothe Henry in the middle of the night? He was colicky, Barry. Do you know what that means? It means he cried nonstop. Literally. For hours, and nothing I did could calm him down. There were times I had to step away from him so I wouldn’t hurt myself or him. Should I have tried to find you then?”

Barry didn’t think, he just stood and stepped into Iris’s personal space. But he didn’t stop there. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close until her head was resting against him, much like his son‘s had earlier.

He felt her hands clench the sleeves of his T-shirt in her fists, but she didn’t push him away.

“Why should I have tried to find you, Barry?” She asked sadly, a little calmer now. “You threw me away like I was nothing. I didn’t think you wanted anything to do with me. Why would I have gone out of my way to find you when my world felt like it was ending, to put myself through the agony of hearing that you didn’t want anything to do with me or your baby?”

“I want you. I want you both.”

She stiffened, and he hurried to clarify. “I’m not going to take him away from you, Doc. I would never do that. You’re his mother. The one person in this world I have no doubt would die for him if necessary. No……. I take that back. One of two people in this world who would die for him.”

Iris picked her head up at that. She looked at him with tears sparkling in her eyes, but didn’t say anything. She just stared at him as if she were trying to read his mind.

“I’m so sorry I left. So incredibly sorry I wasn’t by your side, holding your hair back as you got sick because of our child. Sorry I wasn’t there to take you to the hospital when you started bleeding. Sorry for not being there to spoil and pamper you when you were bedbound. You’ll never know how sorry I am that I wasn’t around to share the stress and worry when our son wouldn’t stop crying. But I’m going to make it up to you, Iris. Mark my words.”

“How? You can’t turn back the clock, Barry. You can’t go back in time.”

“I know, but starting from this moment, I can damn well be sure not to miss another second of his life. You need anything, and I mean anything, you call me. If you’re too tired to get up and change his diaper, call me and I’ll come over and do it. You need someone to watch him? I’ll do it. If he has a doctor’s appointment, I want to be there. If he skins his knee, I want to be there to kiss it and make it better. And not only that, I’m going to take care of you too. You look tired, Doc. You need to sleep more. I’ll make sure you get the naps you need. I’ll treat you to a spa day. Get a massage. Get your nails done. Hell, you want to take a girls trip out of town with Linda, I’ll pay for that too. Whatever you need, whenever you need it, I’ll make sure you get it.”

“You can’t make up for all that you’ve missed with money.”

Her words pierced his heart, but not for the reason she might think. “I am perfectly aware that I can’t get the last two years back. And, Iris, I don’t blame you. You’re right, it wasn’t your responsibility to find me. I should’ve tried harder to track you down. If I had, you wouldn’t have been alone. And that’s all on me. But I’m here now.”

“Because Eobard and Edward are still on the loose.”

“Yes and no. Nothing would keep me from protecting you against those assholes, but even if they weren’t in the picture, I’d be here.”

“I want you in Henry’s life,” Iris said softly. “I wouldn’t have told him about you for the last two years if I didn’t, but you and me…….we aren’t meant to be.”

Barry tightened his arms around her. “You’re wrong. You were the reason I pulled my head out of my ass and applied to CCPD. I did it for you. To be a man you could be proud of.”

“Barry,” she protested weakly.

“I love you, Doc,” Barry admitted, letting everything he was feeling show in his eyes. “I loved you practically from the first time you gave me shit in the rehabilitation hospital. I loved you even more after our first kiss in that supply closet. I agreed to move into your apartment when I didn’t have any other place to go because I loved you. When you made the first move and stood in your doorway with nothing on but one of my T-shirts and invited me to sleep in your bed, I thought my heart would burst with how much I fucking loved you.”

He brought his hands up to her face and framed it, tilting her chin up in the process so she had to look into his eyes.

“When we went out to eat that one night, someone drop something in the kitchen. It freaked me out——— and you didn’t even blink. We went home you knew exactly what I needed. I took off your red sundress and you let me make love to you in a way that you knew I needed. I loved you when I was having you hard and fast on the couch and then slow and sweet in your bed. I knew I wasn’t wearing a condom, but I didn’t care. I needed you so badly to just hold myself together. And I think a part of me, unconsciously, wanted to leave a part of myself inside you. And I loved that you let me. I needed you desperately, and you gave me you. All of you. That was the night Henry was created, wasn’t it?”

She nodded, her head still in his grasp.

“And I know this is hard to believe, but I loved you even when I left that night. So much, I thought you were better off without me. But I was wrong. We’re better when we are together. I felt it then, and I feel it now. I never stopped loving you, Doc. Never. I messed up, I know it. You know it. Your parents know it. Hell, Henry probably even knows it somehow. But there’s no way I’m walking away a second time.”

“I don’t think I can do it again.”

“You can do anything you set your mind on.”

She didn’t respond, just stared up at him with sad eyes.

Barry took a deep breath and forced himself to drop his hands and step away from the love of his life. He had hurt her, terribly. It wasn’t going to be as easy as apologizing to have her take him back, that was obvious. He knew his Iris was stubborn, but he was more so. He’d sat on rooftops in the freezing Russian cold for hours before taking a shot. He could take as much time as needed to get her to trust him again. To love him.

“I’m going to call my human resources department and get you and Henry on my insurance.”

“What?” She asked.

“I also need to update my will and make sure you’re listed as my next of kin on the departmental paperwork.”

“Barry——-” she started, but he talked over her.

“I don’t know anything about it, but what do people normally pay in child support?”

She didn’t say a word, just stared at him in disbelief.

He waved a hand. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll write you a check for ten thousand to start with. That should cover some of what I should’ve been paying all along.”

“I don’t want your money.”

“Tough. You’re getting it.”

“You can’t buy me back,” she said snarkily.

“I’m not trying to,” he replied immediately. Her words hurt, but he refused to be snarky back to her. She had every right to be pissed at him. He had abandoned her when she’d needed him the most.

“Then what are you doing? Henry and I have been just fine without you.”

“I know.” And he did. It was more than obvious that she didn’t need his help, and that stung. A lot. He pushed through it. “You told Ralph at the station that you took that whack-job’s offer because you needed the money. You quit working at the clinic full-time to start at the school. All I’m doing is giving you some breathing room to figure out what you want to do next. If you want to use it to get your own place, great. If you want to buy a newer model car, that’s fine. If you want to work full time again at the clinic, no problem. But if you want to continue with less hours so you can spend more time with our son, then I’m going to make sure you have the means to do that.”

He knew he wasn’t playing fair, but all was fair in love and war. And this was a war to gain back her love and trust. He’d played dirty if he had to.

Not giving her a chance to respond, he said, “I need to go. The bank closes at five and I want to get to the station and start the paperwork to add you and Henry to my insurance.” He took out his phone and asked, “What’s your number? I want to send you a text so you have mine in case you need anything.”

She stared at him for a long moment, and Barry wasn’t sure she was going to tell him her number, but finally she relented.

He punched it in and sent a quick text. “I mean it, Iris. You let me know if you need anything. I won’t let you down again. Even if I’m working, I’ll find a way to get you what you need. Understand?”

She nodded.

Deciding she’d had enough and needed to regroup, he asked, “Do you think it would be okay if I said bye to Henry before I go?”

Iris stared at him with big eyes and swallowed before saying, “Yeah. He’d probably like that.”

“Thank you.” Barry leaned in close and gave her a chaste goodbye kiss on the cheek. “See you tomorrow, Doc.” Then he walked toward the kitchen where he had last seen his son heading.

Henry was sitting at a high chair at a small table in the corner of the spacious room, and Barry went to his side. He kneeled down next to him and smiled when his son held out a Cheerio.

“Daddy, eat.”

He leaned forward and caught the snack in his mouth, gumming the little fingers as he did. Henry giggled loudly and clapped his hands in delight when his dad let him go.

“She was in a bad place when we moved her in.”

Barry stiffened, but he’d known this was coming. He stood and turned to face Iris’s mom. “I didn’t know.”

“I realize that, but it doesn’t make it any less true.”

“I’m adding her to my insurance and giving her the money she and my son should’ve had all along, that they would’ve had if I had known she was pregnant.”

“Money won’t buy their love.”

Francine West sounded so much like her daughter, Barry couldn’t help but smile. “That’s what she said. And I know that,” he informed her. “I won’t let her down again.”

He refrained from shifting in place like a naughty child under her stare, barely.

“See that you don’t,” she finally said.

Feeling as though he’d somehow earned the older woman’s approval, even though it didn’t look or sound like it, Barry merely nodded. “I’ll be back tomorrow after she gets off work.“

“Why don’t you come over while she’s working? You could get to know your son better.”

Barry’s heart lurched. Oh, he wanted that. Badly. But he said, “No. That would make Iris nervous. I’m not here to take our son away from her. I can’t deny I want to spend time with him, but I’ll do it with Iris or not at all. She needs to know she can trust me before she’ll want me being alone with him.”

“Then I guess we’ll be seeing you tomorrow,” Francine said with a slight smile, and Barry couldn’t help but feel as if he’d passed some sort of test.

He nodded, then turned back to Henry. He leaned over and kissed the top of the boy’s head and turned to leave. At the last minute, he asked Iris’s mom, “Would you take a picture of us? I’d love to be able to show it to my friends. They’ll never believe a guy like me helped make something so perfect and beautiful.”

It was obviously the right thing to say, because her smile grew and she reached for his phone. Barry crouched down next to his son’s high chair and looked at him for a moment. God, he still couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that he was a father.

He turned to face Francine and saw that she was already holding his phone up. He dutifully smiled for the photo. He was still smiling when he felt a slimy hand touch his cheek. Turning to Henry, he laughed outright when he saw that his son had stuffed as many Cheerios into his mouth as he could and was drooling all over himself…….and he shared that drool with his old man.

“Don’t choke, little man,” he drawled, wiping his tiny hand with a paper towel sitting nearby.

When he’d wiped off as much drool as he could, he stood. Francine was still grinning, but she didn’t say a word as she handed him back his phone. He didn’t bother looking at the picture, simply put his phone in his pocket.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye, Barry.”

He strode out of the kitchen and back to the front door. Barry knew he’d be having a serious conversation with Iris’s dad at some point, and the man wouldn’t be as easy on him as her mom had been, but he didn’t mind. He liked that Iris and Henry had people who loved and looked out for them.

His thoughts were chaotic, but he hadn’t ever been happier. He had a son! And he’d made the first step toward getting Iris back.

He didn’t have any illusions, this was going to be the hardest thing he’d ever done. More difficult than hitting his target from a mile and a half away. Tougher than getting over what had happened to him and the things he’d done in The Agency. But it would be worth it. They were worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you guys think? Now that Barry knows about Henry things will get more complicated between Iris and Barry. There are a lot of feelings and history that have to be worked through and a son that they both love and want to make a family for. I hope you are enjoying the progress and pace of this story and the characterizations of Iris and Barry. Comments are welcomed and appreciated. Thank you so much for reading and I do hope you enjoyed that chapter.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iris and Linda have a candid discussion about Barry.

Linda sat cross legged on Iris’s bed later that night. Henry was asleep and the room was lit only by a lamp on the bedside table.

“He flat out said he loves you?” Linda asked, her eyebrows drawn down in disbelief.

“Yeah. Just threw it out there like I was supposed to fall at his feet or something,” Iris said caustically. She knew she was being unfair, but she felt off kilter. She’d about had a heart attack when Henry had ran past her mom straight into Barry’s arms. She’d thought about trying to deny Henry was his, but when her son had opened his mouth and called him Daddy, and after the look of awe on Barry’s face, she knew she couldn’t do it.

The years had been good to him. When they had been together three years ago, he was still healing from the wounds he’d gotten overseas. But since then, he’d healed completely and had filled out. His arms were thick and muscular, and she had a feeling if she ever saw him without a shirt, she’d see that he was even more chiseled than he had been in the past. His brown hair was shorter than when they had been together before, and he seemed to have a perpetual five o’clock shadow now, which was sexy as all get out.

But it wasn’t just his looks that were slightly different. He seemed even more intense than he had been back then……..if that was possible. His green eyes were penetrating. Whereas before, he frequently looked away from her when he was talking, as if he felt guilty about something, now he had no problem holding eye contact. All that attention on her made Iris feel as if whatever she was saying was the most important thing he had ever heard. It was a little discomforting, but also made her feel all squishy inside.

“And did you?” Linda asked

“Did I what?” Iris repeated, not sure what they were talking about as she had gotten lost in memories of Barry.

“Fall at his feet?”

“Of course not!” Iris said quickly———-maybe a bit too quickly.

“But you want to.” It wasn’t a question.

“No, I don’t.” The look of skepticism was easy to read on Linda’s face. “Look, he’s just here because he feels guilty or something. And he might be assigned to look after me until Eobard and Edward are found.”

Linda shook her head. “I’m sure he does feel some guilt, and he should. He was a dick. But, Iris, he doesn’t have to protect you. The Feds can assign someone else to you. There are thousands of law-enforcement officers in this city. Any one of them can protect you.”

Iris blocked out the common sense her friend was using. “He’s arrogant to the nth degree. He strode into the house and practically told me I was his……. like a caveman or something. He thinks that throwing money at me and putting me on his insurance will fix everything.”

Linda shifted until she was lying on her side and her head was propped up by her hand. She was about as different from Iris as she could get. Her black hair fell incredibly straight way down her back and her jet black eyes were piercing in their intensity. She was shorter than Iris, and slender with absolutely no curves.

“Let me tell you something about dominant man…… once they decide they want something, they’re gonna get it one way or another.”

Iris shook her head. “That’s not how things work.”

“It is,” Linda insisted. “Let me guess, he told you he left for your own good, right?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Men like Barry have crazy high standards for themselves. It’s ridiculous, really. They think they have to be perfect. I’m guessing he was really good at what he did in The Agency…………” Linda’s voice trailed off, as if she was asking a question without coming out and actually voicing it.

Iris nodded. “Yeah, I got that impression. He was a sniper.”

“Oh Lord,” Linda murmured, and turned to flop onto her back. “Yeah, so he was probably very good at his job. He got hurt and was sent home………to him, I’m sure that felt like a massive failure. He was frustrated he wasn’t over there still fighting, and then he was chaptered out of the service altogether. When he had healed enough, he lived with you, right?”

“He didn’t have anywhere else to go,” Iris told her friend defensively.

“Don’t you get it?” Linda asked. “There he was, still healing, no home, no job, he probably felt like he’d let his friends and country down. He was lost. I’m frankly surprised he stayed as long as he did.”

Iris couldn’t help but flinch. That hurt.

“Oh sweetie,” Linda said, and leaned over and put her hand on Iris’s knee. “I didn’t mean that in a bad way. What I meant was that he had to have loved you to have stayed for as long as he did. He left because he didn’t feel like he was man enough for you. He was trying to be noble. Men like him don’t like to feel vulnerable. At all.”

“I didn’t judge him, Linda. Not for one second. I would’ve been there by his side as he worked through whatever he had to, but he didn’t give me the chance.”

Linda turned back over and stared at the ceiling once more. “You have to be sneaky with men like him,” she informed her friend. “They need your support, but you have to do it in such a way that they don’t really realize what you’re doing. He’s got a group of close friends, right?”

“I have no idea.”

“He does,” Linda said with conviction. “His tribe. And I’ll bet those friends have women of their own. You need to get to know them. Get close to them. They’ll be your source of support when it comes to your man because Barry isn’t going to come home and tell you when he’s had a bad day. You’ll be able to sense it, but he won’t tell you why. And that’s okay, but you can talk to the other women to help yourself deal with how he is. You can set up guys’ night out. Let him blow off some steam. Cook him dinner. Initiate sex. Let him take you how he wants and needs. That’s how you help a man like Barry.”

“How do you know all this? You’re single!”

Linda smiled up at the ceiling. “I’m a good observer. My aunt married a man just like Barry. Well, maybe not just like him, but close enough. You know I was the administrative assistant for Park Security. Everyone who works there is just like your man. Alpha, obsessive, insanely jealous, and when they fall for someone, they fall hard. And it might look like the men are in charge, but ultimately, it’s the women who hold most of the power. I’ve seen my uncle leave in the middle of an important meeting because my aunt called and needed something. He’s big, and sometimes scary, but my aunt and his kids mean the world to him.”

Iris sighed. She wanted to believe her friend, but it was so hard. “He let me down, Linda. Big time. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to trust him again.”

“You will,” Linda said with conviction.

Iris shook her head sadly. “I can’t just take him back like nothing happened. Like he didn’t rip my heart out of my chest and stomp on it.”

“And you shouldn’t.” Linda moved and sat up once again, crossing her legs and leaning forward. “He knows he screwed up. But he missed two years of his son’s life as a result, Iris. If he’s anything like my uncle and his friends, that’s something he’ll beat himself up about for the rest of his life. He missed Henry’s first smile, his first steps, his first word, and so many other firsts that he’ll never get back. Ever. There’s no need to throw it in his face because he’s well aware of the magnitude of what he missed. He needs to work hard for your forgiveness and trust, and he should. He needs to prove to you that what he did two years ago will never happen again. That you can rely on him. But, girl, if you can find it in your heart to let him in again, not a day will go by where he won’t show you with and without words that you’re the most important person in his life. You’ll never feel as loved, cherished, or protected as you well with a man like him by your side.”

Iris knew what Linda said was true. But she couldn’t just forget all the pain, worry, and hardship she’d been through over the last three years. “I’m scared,” she admitted in a soft tone.

“I know. That’s why you should take things slow. Get to know the man Barry is today. Let him show you that you can trust him again. One day, you’ll realize that the fear you’re feeling right now is gone. That’s when you can move forward again.”

“How did you get so smart?” Iris asked. Linda was younger than her by a couple years, but in many ways, she seemed older. Iris might be a mother, but Linda had a wisdom beyond her years.

“I’ve had good role models,” she replied. “I’ve watched my uncle and his friends. They’re stubborn, badass, infuriating men. But they’re all completely devoted to their women. They’ve set the bar so high for me, I don’t think I’ll ever find a man who lives up to their legacy.” 

“I think you will,” Iris told her friend. “You’re smart. Loyal. Brave. You’ll so find the man meant to be yours.”

“I hope so,” Linda responded. “I’m kinda glad that FBI guy said that I had to stay in town in case they had more questions. I love hanging out with you. I’ve missed you.”

Iris heard the wistfulness in her friend’s voice and she immediately offered, “I’ve missed you too. I don’t get out a lot, and having you here has made me realize how much I’ve missed talking to other women my age. You’re welcome to stay longer, even if you’re cleared to leave.”

Linda’s eager gaze met hers.

“I mean, there’s plenty of room in this house. My parents don’t mind you being here at all. You could easily get a job here if you wanted.”

“I had a job in Star City.”

“I know, but you’re my only close friend here. I hate to see you go.”

Linda chewed on her lip for a moment before saying, “Maybe I could find something part time.”

Iris smiled, then leaned over and hugged her friend. “Thank you. I’m so happy you’re staying.”

“For a while,” Linda warned. “Eventually I’ll go back. My uncle is probably scaring off the new admin. He has a tendency to bluster when he doesn’t get his way. So………think you’ll see Barry tomorrow?”

It was an abrupt change of subject, but Iris didn’t mind. “He said he’d come by after I got off work.”

“Then you’ll see him tomorrow,” Linda said definitively. “What are you going to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“What do you mean, what do I mean?” Linda asked. “You can’t just sit around the house staring at each other.”

Iris looked at her friend in shock. She hadn’t thought about doing anything. “I have no idea,” she blurted out.

“Stop panicking,” Linda ordered, obviously reading her friend well. “How about taking Henry to the park? You guys can stay busy watching him and it won’t be as awkward as sitting on the couch trying to figure out what to talk about.”

“Yeah, okay, that sounds good.”

“Then the next day, you can take him out to eat and let Barry experience a meal out with his son.”

“The next day?” Iris asked, but Linda went on as if she hadn’t heard her.

“Then maybe you can go to the zoo downtown. That might be a bit ambitious for an afternoon, but probably better for Henry, since he tends to get bored easily. And if it’s nice, you could take him to that park that has the waterspout thing and let Henry play in the water. Oooh, I know, another good date could be the farmers market downtown. That would tire Henry out and you could get some good fruits and veggies while you walk around and talk.”

Iris held up a hand to stop her friend. “What in the world are you talking about, Linda? He hasn’t said anything about coming over after tomorrow. Let’s take things one day at a time, shall we?”

Linda smirked. “You’re so cute.”

“What?”

“Of course he’s going to be over here every day. He wants to get to know his son, but maybe more importantly, he knows how badly he screwed up, and he’s going to do everything in his power to get back in your good graces. If he has to use Henry as an excuse to see you every day, he will. Mark my words, Iris. Operation Get Iris Back will commence tomorrow.”

Iris rolled her eyes at her friend.

“And just so you know, I’m happy to watch Henry for you any night you want to go out, just the two of you.”

“It’s too early for that.”

“Is it?”

Iris wanted to emphatically say yes, but couldn’t deny she was interested. The man who had been at her house today, and had apologized so sweetly and earnestly, wasn’t the same man she’d known all those years ago. That man had been closed off and angry, with just enough of his sweet side coming out to make her fall in love with him. She didn’t see much of that old anger in him now……. thankfully. Could he really be so changed? Could he really still love her as much as he claimed he did?

She wanted to believe it, but a small part of her was still afraid that maybe he was just laying it on thick so he could have access to his son.

“Maybe,” she hedged, rolling her eyes again when Linda beamed.

“Right. On that note, I’m going to call my aunt and let her know all is well down here and that I’ll be staying for a while. I have a good feeling about Barry, Iris. He reminds me a lot of my uncle, and that’s a good thing. Give him a chance. You won’t regret it.”

Iris didn’t respond verbally, but simply nodded at her friend. She watched as Linda climbed off the bed and headed to her own room, closing the door softly behind her.

Flopping backwards, Iris huffed out a deep breath and wondered how her life had gotten so complicated so quickly. A week ago, she was a single mother working two jobs to try to earn enough money to move out of her parents house into a small, cramped apartment.

Now she was still a single mother, but that was about all that was the same. She’d been embroiled in the middle of a sex abuse scandal, interrogated by the FBI, and had been reunited with her baby’s daddy, whom she’d thought she hated but deep down still loved, but whom she definitely didn’t trust with her heart yet. She had only a part-time job with no insurance, but had a feeling she’d have an influx of money in her bank account soon, a gift from Barry.

It was all so unbelievable.

Shaking her head and deciding she needed to take one day at a time, Iris checked the baby monitor. Satisfied that it was on and working, she climbed under the sheets and snuggled beneath her comforter.

She was asleep within minutes, her dreams full of the man she’d missed every day since he’d left in the middle of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. One of the reasons I wanted to have a chapter that focused on Iris and Linda was because I have been thoroughly disappointed that the show, six seasons in, has never had Iris have a female friendship. With all that Iris has had to endure she hasn’t had a good female friend that she could turn to and confide in. I find that to be poor storytelling, therefore I wanted to make sure, much like I’ve done with Francine in this story, that Iris has someone she can talk to, laugh with and get advice from. Anyway, that was my thought process behind this chapter. Stay well, be safe. I do appreciate you all very much and I’m so grateful for the lovely comments and kindness that you have shown me. Thank you.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry and Iris begin to spend time together with Henry.
> 
> Eobard Thawne devises an evil plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter is divided by an asterisk line. Below that line the story goes into graphic detail about who the Thawne’s are and their evil plan. In this part of the chapter, descriptions of graphic violence and rape are mentioned. PLEASE, if those are subjects that trigger anything for you, PLEASE DO NOT READ BELOW THE ASTERISK LINE. Thank you.

Barry kept his eyes on his son, but was very aware of the woman at his side. They were at a playground, where Iris had suggested they go when he’d shown up at her parents door after lunch. Henry seemed to be a happy child. Every time he fell, which was often, he’d pick himself up, giggle, and run off again. He was content to toddle after the older kids at the park, not even caring when he couldn’t keep up.

Barry had stayed up late the night before, reading articles about colic and what caused it——-and horrifying stories about parents who cracked under the pressure of the unrelenting crying, and harmed their child to make them stop screaming.

Every word he read made him feel guiltier about not trying harder to find Iris and make amends. It might not have changed the fact that Henry was colicky, but he could’ve been there to share the load for Iris.

“I’m working on the insurance thing, but unfortunately, because we’re not married, I can’t get you added to my plan,” Barry blurted into the awkward silence that had settled between them like a weighted blanket. “Henry is fine, because he’s my son.”

“I expected that,” Iris said without any trace of irritation or disappointment.

“I talked to the HR director this morning though, and she gave me some names of private insurers. Tomorrow when you’re at work, I’ll call and get information. You can decide which company and plan works best for you and I’ll get that set up.”

She looked at him in confusion. “You don’t need to do that.”

He shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not. But I am.”

Iris huffed out an irritated breath and looked back toward the playground to where Henry was playing. “I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can. But I need to do this for you.”

She refused to look at him. “You don’t need to do anything of the sort.”

“I wasn’t there for you when I should’ve been. I wasn’t there to hold your hand and take care of you when you were forced to stay in bed when you were pregnant. I wasn’t there when you went into early labor, and I wasn’t there to help take some of the stress off of you once Henry was born. I know I can’t fix my absence with money, but knowing you’ll be covered in case some jack ass runs into you on the road, or if you fall and break a bone, is a peace of mind that I need. And I think it will take some stress off you too. Please, let me do this.”

Iris sighed. “We’ve been over this. You can’t change the past, Barry.”

“I know. Believe me, I know. But I can change the future, or at least help shape it.”

She turned to look at him again. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“No.”

“Fine. But I want to pick the plan. You don’t have any say.”

Barry felt the tension roll off his shoulders at her acquiescence. “No problem.” Right. He was only going to show her plans he thought were adequate, no matter the cost. “It’s going to take some time to get Henry added to my insurance.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not. I mean, he’s a kid. He needs to be protected, just in case.” Barry cleared his throat, not wanting to bring up the next point, but knowing he had to. “I do need to prove I’m Henry’s father though. The HR director said that a paternity test would probably be the quickest way to do that.”

“Why?”

Barry blinked at Iris’s question. “Why what?”

“Why do you need a paternity test? Won’t the birth certificate work as proof?”

He stared at her for a second before the meaning of her words sank in. His chest immediately got tight and he pressed his lips together tightly to try to hold back the emotion threatening to overwhelm him.

Looking down at the dirt under his feet, Barry tried to swallow so he could answer Iris’s question.

He felt her hand touch his shoulder. “Barry? What’s wrong?”

“You put my name on his birth certificate?” He asked in a tone that probably sounded weird.

“Of course I did. You’re his father. Why wouldn’t I?”

Not able to sit any longer, Barry stood and paced in front of the bench. “Because you hate me? Because I left you to have my child alone without a word? Because I don’t deserve it?”

He looked down at Iris in confusion, waiting for her answer.

She slowly stood and faced him. Their difference in height felt perfect to him. Her dark hair just brushed below her shoulders and her brown eyes seemed more chestnut in the sunlight. For their outing, she’d worn a green tank top with a pair of jeans and sandals on her feet.

She looked casual and comfortable, and all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and kiss her until she gave in and forgave him. She was curvier then he remembered, probably because she had his child, and he absolutely loved it. All Barry could think about was how beautiful she was—— and how big of an idiot he was for thinking for one second that he could give her up.

“Barry, you’re his father. Yeah, I was upset when you left, but I was more sad. I decided before Henry was even born that he would know nothing but good things about his father. Putting your name on his birth certificate was never a question for me.”

“Thank you,” Barry choked out. He wanted to say more, but wasn’t sure words can adequately explain his feelings.

She opened her mouth to respond when a scream sounded from the playground, followed by wailing.

Barry was on the move before he’d even thought about it. Henry was lying on the ground crying as if he was being tortured.

“What happened?” He asked a little girl, probably around five years old.

She looked scared, but answered him anyway. “He fell. He was trying to go up the ladder of the slide.”

Barry looked up where she was pointing and nodded when he saw the three steps. It was high, but not high enough to have done any permanent damage to Henry. The ground was covered in mulch, giving the area under the playground equipment a soft, spongy place for kids to land if they fell.

He quickly felt for any blood, lumps, or bumps on his son’s small body. Finding none, he scooped Henry up into his arms and stood, cradling him against his chest. One hand rested under his butt and the other pressed his head into his shoulder. The screams coming from his lungs were loud. Loud enough to make Barry wince with their volume.

“Is he okay?” Iris asked from next to him calmly.

“I think so. He’s got a set of lungs on him, doesn’t he?” Barry asked.

“Come on, let’s go sit. He’ll be fine in a couple of minutes. He’s just scared. It’s not the first time he’s fallen.”

“You’re being really calm about this.” Barry noted as he followed her back to the bench they’d been sitting on.

“He’s an active boy, Barry. He’s had his share of scrapes and bruises.”

Barry eased down onto the bench and rocked his son and murmured words of encouragement and sympathy in his ear until his sobs turned to the occasional sniffle. He patted his back and asked, “You better now, slugger?”

Henry sniffed and wiped his nose with the back of his hand, then nodded.

“What hurts?”

The little boy shrugged.

“Did you fall on your butt?” Iris suggested.

Henry nodded.

Her hand came out and joined Barry’s in rubbing their son’s back. She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. “You want to go home, or stay and play some more?”

Henry looked over at the playground, then back at his mom. “Play.”

“All right. Let go of Daddy and get going. Twenty more minutes then we need to go home.”

Barry leaned over and placed his son on his feet. He ran a hand over his brown curls and watched as he ran back to his new friends as if nothing had happened.

Neither he nor Iris said anything for a minute or two as they kept an eye on the little boy to make sure he was okay.

Finally, Barry said softly, “Okay, that about gave me a heart attack.” 

Iris chuckled, and the sound was so carefree and happy, and reminded him so much of how she was three years ago, it almost hurt. “You better get used to it. One of his favorite things to do is climb.”

He turned to face Iris. “Is that what he sounded like when he had colic?”

“Pretty much. His lungs were smaller, but his cry was just as piercing then as it is now.”

Barry shook his head in awe. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help. You’re simply amazing,” he told her.

“What?”

“I listened to him for only a couple minutes and I thought I was going to go crazy. I wanted to fix whatever was wrong. Make him stop crying because he sounded like he was in so much pain. I can’t imagine having to hold him for hours as he cried.”

“If you apologize again, I’m going to get mad,” Iris told him. 

Barry blinked.

“Seriously, it’s done. You’re sorry you left. I was upset and pissed, but I did what I had to do for my son. Our son. You don’t have to apologize every time something happens that makes you think about what you missed. Okay?”

Barry swallowed hard, but nodded. “I’ll try.”

“Good.”

They watched Henry play for another twenty minutes before Iris called out to tell him it was time to go. Barry took the big shoulder bag Iris had insisted they needed to bring with them. It weighed a ton and he’d only caught glimpses of what was inside. Diapers, snacks, two bottles of water, tubes of some sort of cream, an extra set of clothes for Henry, and who knew what else. She insisted that if she didn’t bring it with them, something would happen and she’d need it. He didn’t argue, but secretly thought it was crazy.

As they walked toward his Mustang——her car should be returned sometime tomorrow, she was told——- Barry looked around out of habit. His eyes stopped on a man sitting on a wooden bench on the far side of the playground. He hadn’t noticed him earlier.

He was wearing a baseball cap pulled down low over his forehead, so Barry couldn’t see his face clearly. He had a scruffy beard and was average height and lanky.

Barry stopped at his car and stood aside as Iris strapped Henry into his car seat. “Do you think we could stop at the store on the way home?”

Barry turned away from the man and faced Iris. “Of course.”

“Great. I’m out of Cheerios and it’s Henry’s favorite snack.”

“No problem. I told you, anything you need, whenever you need it, I’ll make sure you get it.”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, I need a million dollars, but I’m not going to hold my breath that you’ll deliver anytime soon.”

“Give me twenty years and I’ll make sure you have your money, Doc.” Barry’s voice deepened and he leaned into Iris as he spoke, creating a little cocoon of intimacy between them.

She stared up at him for a second, then cleared her throat and took a step back. 

Realizing he was pushing, Barry smiled, then allowed her the space. As he walked around to the driver’s side, he remembered the man. His gaze wandered back to the bench he’d been sitting on, only to find it empty. He looked around the area and saw no sign of the mysterious looking man.

Vowing to be more observant in the future, Barry opened the car door and climbed inside. Just because the man was wearing a baseball hat didn’t mean he was dangerous. He tried to convince himself of that, but his conscience wasn’t having it. 

Making a mental note to contact Ralph as soon as he could to see if there was any update on the whereabouts of the Thawnes, Barry started his car and headed for the grocery store with the two people who meant the world to him.

*******************************************************************************

“You’re sure it was her?” Eobard asked.

“Positive,” Edward told his father. “I didn’t see the other woman though.”

Eobard waved off his son’s words. “And there was a baby? Was it a girl or a boy?”

“A boy. A real brat. He fell off a tiny little louder and screamed his head off.”

“A boy,” Eobard mused. They were currently staying in a fleabag motel on the outskirts of Central City. It was a piece of shit, but they took cash and didn’t ask too many questions. They’d try to call some of the men who had been coming to the school for years for assistance, but they were all either behind bars already, or had hung up when they’d found out who was calling.

It pissed Eobard off, but he didn’t need them.

But he decided he did need that little boy. 

It would be the perfect revenge. He was just going to kill Iris and be done with it, but this was even better. He needed to groom someone else to help him with his new school when he set it up, and taking the son from the bitch who had brought down his empire would devastate her.

He would take them both, show her exactly what her son’s future would be, then dispose of her. He didn’t want a woman around. He had no use for women, none whatsoever.

He would take the boy, and he’d allow his son to take the bitch’s oriental friend. They’d use her to get a couple babies and then get rid of her too.

Eobard smiled at his son. “Keep your eye on her. I want to know her schedule. Who she sees. Where she lives, and what time she comes and goes. We’ll figure out the best time to catch her unaware.”

“And get the Oriental too, right?” Edward asked.

“Yeah. Her too.”

“Do you have a plan?”

Eobard’s hand was moving before he’d even thought about it. He smacked his son across the face before the other man had a chance to move. “Seriously? After all this time, you’re questioning me?”

“I’m sorry, Father,” Edward said immediately, bowing his head.

“Just because we aren’t at school doesn’t mean the rules have changed,” he told Edward, his words low and deadly.

“Yes, sir.”

“Don’t forget again. You might be an adult, but I can and will punish you like I did when you were young. Remember that.”

“Yes, sir.”

“To answer your insolent question, of course I have a plan. Don’t I always?”

“Yes, Father.”

“What are you still doing standing here? The next time I see you, you had better have some more information about that bitch and my new son, hear me?” 

Eobard barely paid any attention to the son he’d fathered when he was just seventeen as Edward left the motel room. His own father had brought a young teenage prostitute home and hidden her in their basement. He’d tied her down and made Eobard rape her until she’d gotten pregnant. Then she was kept down there until his father thought the baby could survive outside the womb. He’d cut his grandson, Edward, out of her belly without mercy, leaving the woman screaming in pain until she’d fallen silent. Eobard still remembered how bad she’d smelled when his dad had forced him to clean up the mess. She’d died from blood loss, but he hadn’t cared.

He’d had a son.

Someone vulnerable to him. Finally.

He’d always been weaker than his dad———and he loved knowing he could do everything to his son that his father had done to him.

Eobard smiled when he remembered the look on his father’s face right before he had blown his head off with the shotgun the old man had loved to threaten him with.

Maybe taking Edward with him when he went to Mexico with Iris’s baby wasn’t the best idea. Edward might turn on him like he’d turned on his own father.

The more he thought about his past, the more paranoid Eobard got. Making the decision right then and there to start completely over without Edward.

Getting a new son was the best idea he’d had in a long time. And taking the flesh and blood from the bitch who’d ratted him out was the perfect revenge indeed.

Rubbing his hands together, Eobard imagined all the things he’d do to the boy to show him who was boss. Who was in charge. He got aroused just thinking about it. Oh yeah, he was definitely looking forward to starting over in Mexico with his new son, his new family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that chapter. I know the descriptions surrounding the Thawne’s were graphic but I wanted the audience to know the extent of evil that Iris and Barry will be facing. I sincerely hope I was able to achieve a narrative that, while I’m sure disgusted the reader, engaged the reader and heightened the stakes for the story. As always, thank you for continuing to read this story. Comments are always welcomed and appreciated.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward makes a move forcing Barry and Iris closer together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Please be advised, below the second asterisk line in this chapter there are some racially insensitive words and mentions of strong sexual acts. If this type of language disturbs and offends you please do not read below the second asterisk line. Thank you

The week went by quickly for Iris. She worked each morning at the clinic downtown and spent every afternoon with Barry and their son. He’d done extremely well so far with Henry, as if he had been a parent his whole life. He was nurturing, but didn’t spoil the little boy. When she had commented on it, he’d simply said he paid attention to everything she did and tried to emulate it.

Which of course made her stupid heart turn over in her chest.

He’d been attentive to her, but not suffocating. Each time they came back from whatever outing they had been on, he made sure she and Henry were inside her parents house safe and sound before he left. He never tried to finagle an invitation to come inside, even when she kind of wanted him to. He didn’t crowd into her personal space and hadn’t tried to kiss her.

All in all, the week had been confusing. She could tell Barry was different than he had been three years ago. It was as if the bad stuff about him had just disappeared altogether. He didn’t seem angry, he wasn’t impatient, he didn’t even mind when Henry threw a fit in the middle of a store. He simply stood over him in the aisle and let him scream until he’d exhausted himself, seemingly unaware of the disapproving looks from other shoppers as they passed.

Now, at the end of the week, Linda had been visiting Iris at the clinic, and they were chatting about nothing in particular as they left when a man caught Iris’s attention. He was standing down the street, leaning against a wall. Staring at them.

“Linda, straight in front of us, see that guy in the hat?” Iris asked her friend softly as they walked toward her car.

Hearing the tension in Iris’s voice, Linda immediately went on alert. She looked where Iris indicated and stiffened. “Isn’t that Edward?”

Iris swallowed hard. “Yeah, that’s what I thought too.”

Linda’s hand went inside the bag she always carried on her shoulder. Iris knew she had a cute little pink gun. A gun that might be small, but was still deadly.

When the man realized he had been seen, instead of turning around and leaving, he tipped his hat to them in what might’ve been a gallant gesture, except for the evil grin on his face.

“Holy shit,” Iris breathed, and reached for her phone. She unlocked it and went to her contacts, clicking on Barry’s name before she’d even thought about what she was doing.

“Hey, Iris. What’s up?” Barry asked as he answered.

“Linda and I are outside the clinic and I’m pretty sure Edward is watching us.”

“Go back inside,” Barry ordered immediately in a voice that had changed from jovial and happy to urgent and pissed off in a heartbeat. “Now.”

“He’s not doing anything, just standing there staring at us.”

“Please, Doc. Go back inside. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“He’s leaving now.”

“Iris,” Barry warned. “You had better be on your way back to the clinic.”

Edward turned and sauntered down the street as if he didn’t have a care in the world. He veered down an alley and disappeared from view. But before he did, he blew a kiss in their direction.

Iris shuddered in revulsion. “He’s gone now.”

“IRIS, for God’s sake! Go. Back. To. The. Clinic.” Each word out of Barry’s mouth was clipped.

“Linda, Barry wants us to go back to the clinic and wait for him,” Iris told her friend. What she really wanted to do was get in her car and go home, but it had been a long time since she’d heard that tone of voice from Barry, and she wasn’t sure it would be smart to go against him. She didn’t want to fight with him, not about that at least.

Her friend looked at her for a heartbeat, then asked, “Is he on his way here?”

Iris nodded.

Linda glanced in the direction Edward had disappeared, then at her friend once more. “Then we need to do what he says.”

“Are you there yet?” Barry asked impatiently in her ear.

“No, but we’re going,” Iris said.

“Good.”

She heard a door slam and knew Barry was now in his car. She blew out a relieved breath. Just knowing he was on his way went a long way toward making her feel better. “He didn’t do anything, Barry. Just smiled and blew us a kiss as he left.”

“Fuck!” Barry swore. “Doc, every law enforcement officer in a hundred mile radius is looking for that asshole. He and his dad are on the FBI’s Most Wanted list. No one has seen them since the school was raided. The fact that he’s still hanging around in Central City and standing outside your clinic doesn’t exactly give me a warm fuzzy feeling. Not to mention blowing you a fucking kiss. I hate to say this, because I know it’s not going to make you happy, but this changes things.”

“Changes things how?”

“In that the half ass job I’ve been doing of keeping my eye on you just changed to a more full-time job. There’s no way I’ve found you again, only to have a perverted son of a bitch snatch you away.”

They arrived back at the clinic and entered, Iris too focused on her conversation with Barry to care about her surroundings. “No one is going to snatch me away!” She exclaimed. “And it wasn’t like I was hiding from you. I’ve been here the whole time. In plain sight. We worked in the same city, for God’s sake. All you had to do was look up my name on that fancy CCPD database and you could’ve found me, Barry. But no, it wasn’t until I was in trouble that you even bothered. You just have to be the fucking hero, don’t you?”

There was silence on the other end of the line, except for the faint sound of a siren in the background, as Iris waited for him to respond.

“What else?” He strangely asked.

“What else, what?” Iris huffed

“What else are you pissed at me for? Go on, get it all out.”

“Pretty much everything, Barry!” She told him. If he wanted a list, she would give him one. “As I said, you had the resources to find me whenever you wanted, but you didn’t. It wasn’t until you thought I was in danger that you even bothered. I’m upset that you won’t talk to me about what happened to you when you got hurt in The Agency. I’m mad that you seem to be perfect now, but I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop and for you to hurt me again. I’m pissed at how good you are with Henry without even trying, when I was scared every day for his first year that I was going to screw him up so badly he’d end up being a serial killer. And I’m mad that I’ve felt happier and safer in the last week than I have since the moment you walked out on me!”

Iris was breathing hard at the end of her tirade. Little puffs of air were coming out and she realized she’d been pacing in the lobby of the clinic as she’d gone off on Barry.

“You go, girl.”

The words were spoken softly from behind her, and Iris spun around and saw three teenagers sitting in the waiting area, staring at her. Linda was standing with her arms crossed, smirking and she leaned against the wall. Iris didn’t know which one of them had said the words, but was mortified that she had spoken like that in front of other people.

Iris closed her eyes in embarrassment.

Barry’s voice sounded in her ear, calm and seemingly unruffled. “I shouldn’t have waited as long as I did to find you. I figured you were better off without me. No, that’s a lie. I was scared to death that I’d look you up and find out you were married. I’m a coward, Doc. I was terrified to look for you and so damn depressed without you. Yeah, knowing you might be in danger was the impetus for me to get off my ass, but it’s not because I think you can’t take care of yourself. I know better than anyone that you are no damsel in distress. As for Henry, it might seem as if I’m a natural with him, but that’s only because I’ve been watching you. I hope there will be a time when you trust me enough to be alone with him, but I have to tell you, I’m petrified and excited about the prospect at the same time. What if I say something wrong? What if I give him something to eat that he’s allergic to? What if he gets hurt on my watch and you never trust me again? What if he decides I’m a no good bum and hates me? I’m well aware he’s as amazing as he is as a result of your influence on him. And I’ll tell you everything you want to know about my time in The Agency. Every fucking thing. I don’t want to, not because you don’t deserve to know, but because it makes me feel like a failure. But I will. I want you to know why I left three years ago, and to get to know the man I am today. And lastly, I haven’t been as happy and settled in my entire life as I have been in the last week. I wake up in the morning excited to talk to you, to see you, to watch you interact with our son, and I go to sleep at night eager for the hours to pass so I can be around you once more. I’ll say it as many times as you need to hear, but I’m not going to hurt you like I did three years ago. I’m one hundred percent in with this relationship. That means answering any concerns you have, manning up and talking about my feelings, and doing everything in my power to make sure you and Henry are safe and happy. Now……I’m almost there. I’m going to look around. I doubt I’ll find anything, but I have to try. Go into the back, away from the windows. I’ll be in as soon as I’m done covering the perimeter.” 

And with that, he hung up.

Iris took the phone away from her ear and stared at it for a beat before looking up at her audience a little sheepishly.

“Ay dios mio, he certainly seemed to have a lot to say after you told him off,” one of the teenagers said.

“We need to get away from the windows,” Iris said in a flat tone, feeling shellshocked by what Barry had just told her. He hadn’t shied away from anything she’d said. He’d laid it all on the line. The shield she’d been holding around her heart cracked, letting him in just a little bit.

Linda helped herd the teenagers into one of the examination rooms, and then stood in the small copy and storage room with Iris.

“I take it he’s outside?” Linda asked.

Iris nodded and turned to her friend. “Am I crazy for thinking about giving him another chance?”

“If he had blown you off when you called, I would say yes. But he didn’t. The second he knew you might be in even the smallest amount of trouble, he dropped everything and raced to get to you. Do you know how rare that is? I have the best and worst role models. The best because my uncle and his friends have showed me exactly what I want. A man who cherishes his woman. Who does whatever it takes to keep her happy. The worst because that’s a hell of a high standard a man has to live up to if he wants to be with me.”

She walked up to Iris and put her hands on her shoulders, looking into her friend’s eyes. “He really messed up. There’s no denying that. But he’s a guy, Iris. Unfortunately, they do that shit. And no one is perfect. It might’ve taken him longer than it should have to pull his head out of his ass, but he’s back now. And from where I’m standing, he’s back one hundred percent. He seems genuine in his remorse over what happened and how long it took him to find you. I’m not saying go out and buy a wedding dress and put money down on a venue, but I am saying to give him the benefit of the doubt.”

“I don’t think I would survive him leaving again,” Iris whispered.

“Then grab hold and don’t let him leave again,” Linda fired back. “A relationship is a two-way street. Make him so damn happy, and reliant on you and Henry for his happiness, he can’t even imagine walking away. Relationships aren’t all sunshine and roses, Iris. You know that. There are ups and downs, and it takes communication and a hell of a lot of work to keep things fresh and smooth. You’ve had more downs than ups, which sucks, but I’m fairly certain if you give him an inch, he’ll more than make up for the shit he piled on you.”

Before Iris could say anything, they heard the bell on the outer door to the clinic chime. She turned to the open door of the copy room and before she could move, Barry was there.

He strode toward her and, without a word or warning, wrapped one hand around her waist and the other went to the back of her neck. He pulled her into him and kissed her. Hard. Deep. Without apology and without hesitation. As if he were rejoicing in the fact that she wasn’t hurt. That Edward hadn’t gotten to her.

Way before she was ready, he pulled back but didn’t take his hands from her. “You all right?”

Iris nodded and licked her lips nervously, tasting a hint of peppermint. He obviously had a mint or chewed a piece of gum in the not so distant past. The combination of mint and Barry was erotic as hell, and she shifted uneasily, feeling how’d she immediately gotten wet at his familiar taste.

“Linda? You good?” Barry asked, not taking his eyes from Iris’s.

“I’m good,” was her slightly amused response.

Iris watched as Barry took a moment to compose himself. Every muscle was tight. She could feel how tense he was under her palms, which were resting on his chest. His breaths came in short, choppy pants and he honestly looked like he wanted to tear someone from limb to limb.

Wanting to soothe him, Iris rubbed her thumbs back and forth over his rock hard pecs. “We’re okay, Barry. He didn’t come near us.”

“But he was here. Watching you. He knows where you work.”

“Of course he does. Remember, he was the one who found me here.” She saw his jaw flex before he answered.

“There was no sign of him, but I didn’t really expect there to be. Is this the first time you’ve seen him since the raid?” Barry asked.

Iris nodded.

“He should’ve been long gone before now,” Barry said. “If he and Eobard were smart, they would be on the other side of the country or in Mexico by now.”

“Maybe it was a coincidence.” Iris ignored Linda’s snort.

Barry simply shook his head. “No, I don’t think it is.” 

Iris felt his thumb brush back and forth at the base of her skull, making her heart flutter in her rib cage. That small caress brought back so many memories. He used to hold her just like this after making love to her. Her head resting on his shoulder, her arm flung across his chest, his hand at her nape, lazily caressing her as they both came down from their orgasms.

Linda’s words rattled around in her head. Forgive. Trust.

Taking a huge leap of faith, and hoping like hell she wasn’t making the worst mistake of her life, Iris slowly rose to her tiptoes, moved her arms around Barry and laid her head against him, shoving her nose into the space at his neck.

*******************************************************************************

Barry was so full of emotion he couldn’t control it. Anger at Edward for daring to show his face. Relief that Iris was all right. Frustration that he couldn’t take Iris to the ground and prove to her once and for all that he’d never hurt her again and would take care of her, in and out of the bedroom, for the rest of her life.

He’d acted without thinking. So damn happy to see her standing and perfectly healthy that he’d done what he’d been aching to do for the last week. He kissed her with all the longing in his soul, trying to say what he hadn’t yet been able to convince her with his words.

Pulling back way before he was sated——-as if he could ever get enough of her——Barry held her as he made sure both she and Linda were all right. He couldn’t bear to let her go. Couldn’t bear to see the distrust and frustration in her eyes.

The second she caressed his chest and tried to calm him down, goosebumps broke out all over his body. Her vanilla scent soothing him, making him long for what he used to have. His thumb moved as if it had a mind of its own, using muscle memory, caressing the skin he knew was ultra sensitive, brushing against the wispy hairs at her neck.

He was afraid he’d pushed too hard, gone too far, but then she gave him her weight and hugged him.

“Doc,” he whispered, overwhelmed.

He barely noticed when Linda slipped out of the room, leaving him and Iris alone.

“I’m scared,” Iris whispered, and he felt her warm breath against his neck as she spoke.

“I’m a different man than I was back then,” he tried to reassure her. “I’m not saying opening up will be easy, but I’m going to try. I’m not proud of some of the things I did when I was in The Agency.”

Her arms tightened and she looked up at him. “You’re a good man, Bartholomew Henry Allen.”

His lips quirked in the smile. He loved when she used his full name. If anyone else dared, he’d hurt them, but he loved the way his name sounded on her lips. “I’m trying to be,” he told her. Turning his head, he kissed her forehead, then reluctantly loosened his arms and stepped back from her.

“This changes things,” he said gravely.

She took a deep breath and nodded.

“And I’m not just talking about you and me.”

“I know,” she said, not protesting his words.

“There’s no reason Edward should’ve been within a hundred miles of you today. Not if he and his father were truly trying to disappear.”

“I don’t get it,” Iris said. “That FBI guy said it himself. I didn’t know anything about what was going on. Why would they care about me?”

“I don’t know,” Barry said in frustration, “but I’m not about to leave you vulnerable while we try to figure it out. This past week I was on vacation from my job, but starting next week, my full-time job is protecting you.”

“Barry, no, that’s not necessary,” she immediately protested.

“Like hell. Look, the Feds don’t have the resources to keep tabs on all the girls and teenagers who were at the school. Hell, they don’t have the resources to protect even a handful of them. Not with budget cuts and all the bullshit going on in Washington these days. But that doesn’t mean that they aren’t concerned about what those two assholes have up their sleeve. I talked to Ralph the night of the raid, and he agreed that if there was any threat against you, he would talk to my supervisor and get it approved for me to be temporarily assigned to protect you.”

Iris looked at him as if he had two heads. “That’s crazy. I’m nobody important. How is this happening?”

He took her shoulders in his hands and looked deeply in her eyes. “That’s bullshit. You’re important, Doc.”

“I don’t do well with confinement,” she admitted.

“I know. And it’s not my intention to spirit you away to some far flung cabin and lock you inside, no matter how much I might want to. I’ll allow you to continue with your regular activities, as long as I’m by your side every step of the way.”

“Seriously?”

Barry winced. “I know it sounds stifling, but the alternative is that cabin in Timbuktu.”

Her brows came down. “No one says Timbuktu anymore, Barry.”

He grinned. “I just did.”

She shook her head. “Why are we even talking about this?”

“You started it,” he teased.

She merely glared at him.

Sobering, he said, “I’m going to be around a lot more, Doc. And believe me, it’s no hardship. I can’t be with you twenty four seven though, not unless you want to move in with me…..” He let his sentence trail off suggestively, hoping that maybe she’d agree and save him a huge amount of worry.

When she immediately shook her head, he sighed.

“I didn’t think so. Therefore, when I’m not around, I need to know where you are. Every second. And I’m not trying to be a dick or controlling. My plan is to have one of my friends watch over you when I can’t.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means they’ll sit outside in an unmarked car, keeping an eye on your parents house, if that’s where you are. It means they’ll escort you to and from the clinic if I’m not available to do it myself. If you want to go to the park with Henry, someone will be there with you. Me or one of my friends. I wouldn’t advise you to go to big public spaces until those assholes are caught, but I won’t stop you from doing it if you want to. My goal is not to make you a prisoner, but I don’t want you doing anything that would make you an easy target if either Eobard or Edward decided to do something stupid.”

He could tell Iris wanted to protest, but to her credit, she merely sighed. “I don’t like it. I think you know that. But what I like less is thinking about what all the girls who lived at that school went through. If Eobard and Edward were that cruel to them. I can’t imagine what they might do to me if they thought I had anything to do with bringing down the school.”

“I lost you once, I won’t do it again,” Barry said with feeling. Then, without giving her a chance to respond, he grabbed her hand. “Come on, let’s go home. I need to call Ralph and give him an update and talk to your parents about what’s going on.”

Thankful she didn’t protest, Barry led her out the door. He collected Linda and the three of them headed out of the clinic and to Iris’s car. He’d drive it back to her parents house and Ralph would help him get his Mustang later. The Alpha Force soldier inside him——which had only let him down once, on his last mission—— was screaming that he had to keep Iris and his son by his side at all times to protect them. And that’s exactly what he was going to do.

*************************************************************************************

“She’s still working at the clinic in the mornings,” Edward told his father. “She gets there early, around seven thirty, and leaves after lunch.”

“She have the boy with her?”

Edward shook his head. “No. Just her. Sometimes her friend comes with her.” He’d been so excited to see the Oriental bitch today. She was a bit short for his liking, but just the thought of the beautiful little girls she would give him was enough to get him hard, and he knew he’d be able to fuck the woman without an issue. Especially when the end goal was so clear in his mind.

“You need to find out where the brat is when she’s at work. I need him. It would be better to take them together, but if need be, we can snatch them separately,” Eobard said without a trace of sympathy in his tone.

“There’s something else, Father,” Edward said. He didn’t want to tell Eobard this part, but did anyway.

“What?”

“They saw me.”

Edward never saw the fist coming.

Eobard hit him in the face before he had a chance to prepare. He went flying backward and fell over the one chair in the small motel room. He looked up and saw his father, full of rage, standing over him. 

Eobard kicked him repeatedly as he berated him. “You. Dumb. Shit! You were supposed to watch them without being seen. Now they know we’re still in Central City and will probably be more on guard!”

Edward curled into a ball but didn’t say anything. He knew his father would continue to beat him until he was satisfied he had learned his lesson.

When Eobard finally got tired, he scowled and said, “Get up. We need to switch motels. Because of your incompetence, this one is probably compromised. You have one more shot, boy. You screw up again and your precious Oriental will become mine. I’ll give her that baby you so desperately want, and you won’t ever get to touch her. Understand?”

Hiding his anger from his father, Edward got up off the floor, ignoring the aches and pains from where Eobard had kicked him, and he quickly collected his things, stuffing them into the small backpack he’d brought with him from the school.

He tuned out his father‘s plans for Iris and her son, and instead made his own. He’d help Eobard, but in the end, he’d do his own thing, go his own way. He’d take the Oriental and start his own school. And the very first student would be his very own daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! How are you all doing? I hope you are staying safe, well and finding your way through this challenging time. How did you like that chapter? I hope you found it enjoyable. Comments and kudos are always welcomed and appreciated. I just want you all to know that I’m deeply appreciative of all the kindness and support so many of you have shown me. Thank you very much.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iris, reluctantly, makes a decision about her future with Barry with the help of her father. Barry is thrilled with her decision.

Two weeks later, Barry had gotten into a routine with Iris. He came by early in the morning and escorted her to the clinic. One of his friends——Ralph, Cisco, Kara, or Oliver—— would meet him there and take over watching her for the morning. He would either go home and take a quick nap, do errands, or continue to try to find where Eobard and Edward were hiding out…..with no luck.

Then he’d arrive after lunch to escort Iris back to her parents house, and he’d spend the rest of the afternoon and sometimes the evening with her and Henry.

After Barry left each evening, he would drive away as if he was going home, but then circle around and park down the street from the house. He’d spend the rest of the night keeping watch over the two most important people in his life. He’d done a piss poor job of making sure Iris had what she needed to be happy and healthy once, he wouldn’t fail again. Especially not with Eobard and Edward still on the loose. 

Barry yawned and looked at his watch. Two forty-seven in the morning. He was tired, but unlike during other stakeouts he’d done, he didn’t have the slightest urge to take a quick catnap. Not when the people he was watching over were so precious.

Since he’d begun staking out the house, he’d yet to see anything out of the ordinary. He looked up from his watch——and froze. He blinked and squinted his eyes, looking at where he’d clearly seen the silhouette of a man slinking around the side of the large house before whoever it was had disappeared.

Without thought, Barry eased out of the car and headed in the direction he’d seen the figure. There absolutely shouldn’t be anyone lurking outside the house, and if it was Eobard or Edward, he wanted to catch them in the act and turn their ass over to the Feds.

Taking out his gun, Barry ran as silently as he could toward where he’d last seen the figure. Using the stealth he’d perfected during his time at The Agency, he eased around the side of the house. He didn’t see anyone and continued along the bushes. When he got to the corner, he put his back to the stucco and cautiously looked around to the backyard.

Standing under a large tree was a man dressed all in black. He was holding something in his hands, but Barry couldn’t tell what it was. He was looking up at one of the windows in the house.

It was……odd. He wasn’t trying to break in at the moment, and because it was the middle of the night, all the lights were off….. so it wasn’t as if he could be watching any of the occupants inside.

Adrenaline coursed through Barry’s body. He wanted this guy. Bad.

He’d taken one silent step toward him when he was spotted.

Barry didn’t even have time to say a word before the mystery man turned and sprinted toward the back fence.

Without hesitation, Barry raced after him.

The likely identity of the man in black was confirmed when he easily vaulted over the four foot high chainlink fence without any difficulty whatsoever. It had to be Edward, as Barry didn’t think Eobard would’ve been able to get over the enclosure so easily.

Barry had one hand on the top of the fence and was two seconds away from leaping and continuing the chase, but stopped. Frustration coursed through him. He couldn’t risk leaving Iris, Henry and the others vulnerable. What if Edward was the bait and Eobard was waiting for Barry to leave the house unprotected? He couldn’t risk it.

Watching the man in black until he disappeared into the night, Barry turned back toward the house. He went back to where he’d seen Edward standing under the tree. Every muscle in his body tensed when he saw what had been left lying on the ground.

Zip ties.

Anger welled inside Barry. It was more confirmation that the man hadn’t just been a pervert hoping to get a glimpse of someone without their clothes on. The Thawne’s were still out there——and for some reason, they had Iris in their sights. It didn’t make sense. Iris hadn’t been the one to call in the tip on the school.

Barry paused and took a deep breath. Iris hadn’t……. but Linda had.

She’d been the one to call her uncle and let him know something wasn’t right at the school, which had started the entire investigation in the first place. What if Eobard had figured that out? And had wrongly assumed it was Iris?

“Damn,” he said in a whisper as he took out his phone and quickly took a picture for the evidence techs. He didn’t want to touch the plastic restraints in case DNA or fingerprints could be retrieved from them. He then eased his way back around to the front of the house.

Edward lurking around Iris’s house upped his sense of urgency. He was already protecting her full-time, but tonight’s sighting just had him all the more determined to keep an eye on Iris. No way were Eobard or Edward getting their hands on his woman. Not in this lifetime.

Frustration coursed through Barry’s body. He wanted to be inside with Iris. Wanted to make sure she and Henry were all right. But if he couldn’t be, then sitting outside the house they were in was the second best place.

No longer tired, Barry settled back into the driver’s seat of his car. His eyes constantly scanned the area around the house. A part of him hoped Edward would come back and try again. He wouldn’t get away a second time. Barry had underestimated the man tonight. Hadn’t expected him to be as agile as he was. If he dared show his face anywhere near Iris again, he’d discover exactly what Barry had learned while he’d been in The Agency.

************************************************************************************

Barry stretched. He’d been sitting outside the Wests’ house all night and the sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon. He hadn’t relaxed since he’d chased Edward away, and was feeling antsy about seeing Iris with his own two eyes to make sure she was safe. He glanced down at the watch on his wrist. Six thirty. It was a bit early, he usually knocked on the door around seven and they left not too long after that. But he needed to see Iris this morning. Needed to make sure she and Henry were good.

He strode up the walkway to the door and softly knocked. It opened almost immediately, but instead of Iris, it was her father.

Barry didn’t even hesitate. “Good morning, sir.”

“It’s time we talked,” Mr. West said in a solemn tone. He turned and walked back inside the house.

Barry closed the door behind him, locked it, and followed Iris‘s dad. He was actually glad this was happening now. He had expected it for a while. Her dad had been pretty cool with him, but he wanted to make sure her father knew where he stood when it came to his daughter and grandson.

Joe West led them to a spacious office. He immediately sat behind a desk, unconsciously or consciously giving him the place of power in the room. There were floor to ceiling bookshelves filled with books on either side, with a large window behind the desk.

Iris‘s father was in his early fifties but didn’t look his age. He had a little gut, but other than that, seemed to wear his age well. His hair was gray at the temples and his beard was peppered with gray as well. This morning he was wearing a pair of dark brown slacks and a cream colored dress shirt.

Barry sat in one of the leather chairs strategically placed in front of the desk and waited for the older man to take the lead on the conversation. He didn’t have to wait long.

“When Iris called us after you left, I’d never been so worried about my daughter as I was then. She was absolutely heartbroken. Her mother and I did what we could to support her, but that was hard when she wasn’t even living with us. Then when she moved home, it was obvious she wasn’t the same. Oh, she tried to hide her depression, but it was easy to see since we knew her so well. Once she moved in, she got better at faking being happy, but I heard my baby girl crying almost every night. She was terrified she’d lose her baby, the only link she had to the man she loved with all her heart. When she went into early labor, the only thing I could do was pray she lived. You haven’t known fear until you see your baby in pain and no there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. I didn’t agree with her putting your name on the birth certificate. I thought she should’ve claimed she had no idea who the father was. I didn’t say a word when she put all those pictures of you in Henry’s room. I didn’t even complain when she had her mother make that damn pillow for him. But it cost her.”

Barry had seen the pictures Iris had put in Henry’s room the previous week. He’d gone in there to grab a toy or something for his son and had stopped in his tracks when he’d seen all the photos. He had a hard time composing himself. No wonder Henry had said “Daddy” the first time he’d seen him. He’d been looking at Barry’s face since the first day he’d come home. It humbled and awed him that Iris had done that. Even if he knew she hadn’t done it for him, but for their son.

Barry opened his mouth to speak, but Iris’s dad continued before he could.

“When you showed up on our doorstep three weeks ago, I saw a change in my little girl immediately. She smiled more, even though she wasn’t sure of your intentions. But she’s terrified, young man. Scared out of her mind that one day you’re going to up and disappear again. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful you’re here watching out for her, keeping her safe from those perverts, but there’s more at stake for her now. She has a son. A little person who, if I’m not mistaken, is becoming as attached to you as my daughter is. You might be a cop, and I know I could get in trouble for saying this, but if you hurt her again, I will kill you. She can’t go through what she did three years ago. It would be better if you were dead than for her to realize that you’d left her again.” Mr. West stopped speaking and glared at Barry, as if daring him to pull out a pair of handcuffs and arrest him for threatening an officer of the law.

But of course, Barry had no intention of doing that.

“She won’t have to go through losing me again because I’m not going anywhere, Mr. West.”

“Are you only here because of the possibility she’s in danger?”

“Yes.” As the scowl on the other man’s face deepened, Barry went on quickly. “And no. I can’t deny I’m back in her life because of that awful school, but that is not why I’m still here. I love her. Never stopped loving her. But three years ago, I was an asshole. I knew if I didn’t get my head on straight, I’d end up hurting her. I know I did hurt her, but not in the same way I would’ve if I’d stayed. The last thing I wanted was her finding out how weak I was. I was having a hard time getting past the mistakes I’d made on my last mission. People died. Lots of people died.”

Joe’s face lost some of its antagonism, but he didn’t interrupt.

“I really, really messed up, I admit it. But I left because I thought it was for her own good. Hindsight is always twenty/twenty though, and obviously, she suffered more because I left. That won’t happen again. I swear to you, I’m here to stay. I want to see Henry grow up to be an amazing man who knows how to treat his woman as if she’s the most precious thing to him. I don’t want a day to go by that your daughter doesn’t know down to the very core of her bones that she’s loved, and I would do anything for her. Anything.”

Barry didn’t flinch as the other man stared at him for a long time. Then he said, “We didn’t know she hadn’t told you about the baby. We thought all along you knew and didn’t care. But I think she was scared to really search for you. Scared that if you found out, you’d want her to get rid of him.”

“I would NOT have done that,” Barry said firmly. “I can’t say that I would’ve been overjoyed, especially since I was in a dark place, but I wouldn’t have wanted her to abort him.”

The older man nodded. “Then after Henry was born, we encouraged her to do her best to find you, but I think she was scared you would try to get him taken away from her.”

Barry closed his eyes in despair. He knew he’d screwed up when he’d left her, but he had no idea she thought he might’ve stooped low enough to do something like try to take her child from her. He snorted out a bitter laugh. “No judge in his or her right mind would’ve granted custody to me. Especially back then.”

“I’m just telling you what was going through her mind.”

Barry nodded.

“Anyway, when you showed back up, I think she was relieved. She told me she hated keeping him from you.”

Barry leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. He didn’t look away from Joe’s face as he said, “I don’t blame her for any decisions she made in the past. I am as equally responsible for those decisions as she is. All I want is to move forward. I want to get to know Henry better, but more than that, I want your daughter back in my life. I’m going to keep her safe. I’m going to do my damnedest to make her happy, no matter what that means. If that means she wants ten more kids, then that’s what she’ll get. If she wants to move to Timbuktu, I’ll get her there. I’ve learned my lesson the hard way. I lost two years of my child’s life because I was an idiot. It’s not going to happen again. I want to wake up every morning to her beautiful face and go to bed each night with her by my side.”

Barry held Joe’s gaze steadily and waited for a response.

When it came, it was better than he could’ve hoped for. The man stood up and held out his hand. “I assume that means you’re going to eventually be my son-in-law, since I won’t have my daughter living in sin for the rest of her life. I have to ask you to call me Joe.”

Barry smiled and stood as well, reaching for the other man’s hand. They shook and Barry said, “Thank you, Joe.”

“Thank you, son.”

“For what?”

“For bringing the smile back to my girl’s face.”

Barry knew he had a long way to go to earn back Iris’s love, but he was going to do whatever it took to get there. “Since you’re her father, I need to tell you something.”

Joe’s brows furrowed. “Yes?”

“I think you know I’ve been keeping watch over the house at night. Well, last night I chased someone out of the backyard.”

“Dammit.” Joe swore softly.

“I couldn’t follow him because I didn’t want to leave the house vulnerable.”

“Was it him?”

Barry didn’t know which of the Thawne’s Joe was referring to, but ultimately it didn’t matter if it was Eobard or Edward. “I think so.”

“Keep my baby girl safe,” Joe said, the frustration and worry for his daughter easy to hear in his voice.

“I plan on it,” Barry told him.

They stared at each other a heartbeat before Joe nodded. He looked down at his watch and said, “I’m sure Iris is up and in the kitchen by now.”

Barry followed Joe out of the office and into the kitchen———and froze in his tracks upon seeing Iris.

She was leaning over looking for something in the refrigerator. His eyes swung to her ass, and he couldn’t tear them away. Iris has always had curves, but after having his baby, she’d obviously not lost all the weight she’d gained. And he couldn’t get enough of her beautiful body.

She was wearing a pair of jeans that molded to her as if they were a second skin. Her blouse had ridden up, and the image of him walking up to her and putting a hand on her back, keeping her bent over, was as clear as day in his mind. He’d reach around and unfasten her jeans and expose her luscious ass to his gaze. Then he’d turn her around to face him and he’d take her just like that. In front of the fridge, her nipples taut with the cool air wafting over them, her fingers holding on to the sides of the large appliance as he hammered inside of her, showing her without words how fucking sexy she was and how much he loved her body.

“Hey, baby girl,” Joe West said to his daughter.

His words acted as a figurative bucket of cold water, dashing the fantasy that had been consuming Barry. Knowing his hard-on would be more than obvious to both Iris and her dad, he stepped behind the long bar that flanked one side of the kitchen.

“Hi, Daddy,” Iris said, standing upright and presenting her cheek to her dad. She looked from him to Barry and asked, “Everything all right?”

“Of course,” Joe said, reaching around her and grabbing the container of orange juice.

Iris turned to Barry. “Good morning.”

God, what he would give to hear her say that when she was still half asleep in his bed. He’d wake her up with a kiss, and maybe after they’d greeted each other, he’d move down her perfect body and show her exactly how good of a morning it could be. One thing about his girl, she loved morning sex.

Shaking his head and telling himself to get it out of his ass, and to stop thinking about how much more beautiful Iris would be naked on his sheets now then she was three years ago, Barry did his best to smile back to her and say, “Morning.”

The need to have Iris living with him was growing with every day they spent together. And after last night, he was all the more determined to convince her to move in with him.

He opened his mouth to say just that, “Move in with me,” but her dad spoke before he could.

“Your mom and I were thinking……….”

Iris turned to her dad. When he didn’t finish his thought, she prompted, “Yeah?”

“You know we love having you here, and you’ll always be welcome, but with everything that’s happened, maybe it’s better if you moved in with Barry…….for your own safety.”

Barry’s mouth hung open in surprise at Joe’s words. At how he’d said the exact thing he’d been thinking and hoping for.

“What?“ Iris asked, obviously equally shocked.

“As much as I hate to admit it, Barry is better equipped to protect you. He’s got the experience, and as big as this house is, someone could break in and hide for days and we’d never find him.” Joe was joking, but Barry could see he was struggling with what he was saying.

“He’s right,” Barry said softly. “My apartment doesn’t have half the space this house does, and I’m on the fourth floor. There’s also a doorman. No one can simply waltz in without being recorded on security cameras and going through a rigorous screening. I have three bedrooms, so there’s plenty of room for both you and Henry.”

He didn’t mention that one of the rooms was currently stuffed to the gills with boxes of crap he’d never bothered to unpack after The Agency had shipped his belongings to him once he‘d graduated from the CCPD Academy. Iris would sleep in his bed, and if she wasn’t comfortable with him being there to share it with her, he’d stay on the couch until she was.

“But…….Henry is used to this house. It’s babyproofed. And Linda is here,” Iris protested weakly.

“He’ll get used to my place, Doc,” Barry said. “You’ll be there with him, so he’ll settle in quickly. I can buy a few plug protectors to babyproof the place.”

She turned to him then, her hands on her hips. “There’s more to it than a few plug protectors,” she said, her brows drawn down in consternation. “He climbs everything, nothing is safe from him. If you have DVDs on a shelf, he’ll take them all out and pound on them. Babyproofing is about making sure any sharp corners on furniture covered and all knickknacks are out of reach. Cabinets have to be locked so he can’t get into anything toxic. Medicine has to be put away, preferably locked as well. Do you have a bathtub? Because it’s not like he can take a shower. And a balcony would be a disaster with him around, there’s nothing he wouldn’t like more than to climb over the damn thing.”

Barry inwardly started to panic, but outwardly he kept his cool. “I don’t have a balcony,” he tried to reassure Iris, “and I truly don’t have anything I’d give a shit about if he broke. You can come over and help me make sure it’s safe for him.”

Iris stared at him for a beat before turning to her dad. “You really want us gone?”

“Oh, baby girl,” her dad said, and took her into his arms. “You know it’s not that. I just want you and my grandson safe. And unfortunately, I’m not the man who can do that.”

Iris had wrapped her arms around her dad when he’d hugged her, but leaned back to look him in the face. “I don’t understand this change of heart.”

“I’ll just go over and say hello to Henry,” Barry told them, then quickly headed into the other room to greet his son.

He could still hear the conversation between Iris and her dad, but he pretended to be engrossed with Henry.

“Iris, that man has been keeping watch over the house from his car every night since he came back into your life. He’s proven that keeping you safe is more than a job to him.”

“He has? That’s crazy.”

“No, it’s dedication. It’s stubbornness. And after what happened last night, it’s obviously necessary.”

“What happened last night?” she asked.

“He chased away someone who was lurking around the backyard.”

Iris gasped. “Seriously? Was it them?”

“He thinks so.”

There was a loaded silence between father and daughter. Barry wasn’t sure he liked Iris knowing about the creeper in the backyard, but he knew it was in her best interest so she could stay alert.

“I think you know as well as I do that he still loves you.” Joe told his daughter.

Her voice lowered, and Barry couldn’t hear what her response was to her dad’s statement. And he really wanted to know what she thought.

Henry sat on his lap and happily bobbed up and down as he watched the cartoon on the screen in front of them. He’d been pleased to see his dad but distracted by his show, only allowing Barry one small hug before pushing him away so he could see the television once more.

It was another couple of minutes before Iris came into the room. Her dad had gone back upstairs with two cups of coffee, one for his wife and one for him. She sat on the cushion next to him.

“I’m not sure about moving in with you,” she said honestly. “It’s too soon. I don’t…………I can’t………….”

“No pressure, Doc,” Barry said, even though inside he was screaming, you’re mine, mine, mine! “You can come over and help me make sure everything is safe for Henry. You can stay until Eobard and Edward are caught and then we can reevaluate.”

“Reevaluate?” she asked, her head tilted in question, her dark, shiny hair sliding over her shoulder to brush against her breasts.

Pulling his eyes away from her breasts——- God, he was such an asshole——-Barry nodded. “Yeah. I want you there permanently. Being around you the last few weeks has hammered home how much my feelings for you haven’t changed. I miss you. I haven’t forgotten one second of the time we lived together, and how much I enjoyed being near you. I love you, Doc. I want you and Henry under my roof. I want to see you first thing when I get up, and I want the right to read my son a bedtime story and tuck him into bed in the evening. If he cries in the middle of the night, I want to let you sleep while I comfort him. I want to be a real father to my son, and be a man you can count on. I know I have a ways to go with that second part, but I think if you live with me, you’ll see that I’m not messing around when it comes to us.”

She bit her lip and looked away. Then she asked, “Are you really watching over the house from your car?”

“Yes.” He didn’t beat around the bush.

“Why?”

Barry waited, but she didn’t look at him. He shifted Henry on his lap and reached out to touch her chin and encourage her to turn her head. Their eyes met and he said, “Because if there’s even a one percent chance Eobard wants to get his hands on you, he’s going to have to go through me to get to you. I think I proved that last night.”

Her pupils dilated at his words, and Barry could see the pulse hammering in her neck. She wanted to say yes, he knew she did, but she was scared. He couldn’t blame her.

“Me moving in is one thing. But you have no idea how much work a two-year-old is.”

“I know I don’t,” he agreed immediately. “And that’s just sad. I should know. I’ve missed out on so much. I don’t care if he trashes everything I own. It’s just stuff. It can be replaced. But I won’t ever be able to get these years of his life back. Before I know it, he’ll be a teenager and will want to sulk in his room all night playing video games, and his old man will be too dorky and annoying for him to want to do anything with.”

Barry returned the smile Iris gave him. “Give it a chance,” he cajoled. “Give us a chance. I can protect you better if I’m there with you. It’s one thing to chase someone away from the house. But staying here really isn’t safe. Anything could’ve happened last night. While I was preoccupied with whoever was in the yard, someone could’ve slipped inside through the front door. My apartment complex is safer. There are less way someone could get inside. Linda can come over whenever you want. In fact, I’ll probably insist on it, as I’d love to take you on dates. She can babysit while I wine and dine you. I…………”. He faltered, then forced himself to continue. “I have a lot I want to tell you. About that last mission. Why I was in the hospital so long.”

“You don’t have to,” Iris immediately said, resting a hand on his, which had dropped from her face and was resting on Henry’s little thigh.

“I appreciate that, but yeah, I do. I’m not hiding anything from you anymore. Anything you want to know, ask. I’ll tell you everything. The only way we can work is if we don’t have any secrets.”

“But…….you don’t like talking about your time in The Agency. About being a sniper.”

He pressed his lips together, then took a deep breath. “I don’t. And I can’t say that I’ll want to continually rehash it over and over, but you have the right to know the kind of man I am.”’

“I know the kind of man you are,” Iris said softly.

“You don’t. But you will. And if, after you hear what I’ve done you want to move back to your parents’ house, I’ll let you.” She opened her mouth to protest, but he pressed a finger over her lips. “But if you can accept it, accept me as I am, I’ll move heaven and earth to make you and Henry happy for the rest of your lives.”

Iris reached up and took his index finger in her hand and squeezed, pulling it away from her mouth. “I’m nervous about this, but I want to try. You hurt me so badly when you left, but it was because I loved you so much. I can’t say that I am fully convinced you won’t do it again, but I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. Besides, I’d be an idiot to turn down your protection for Henry.”

Barry winced at that, but immediately blanked his expression. He looked down at his watch. “We need to get going if we’re going to get you to the clinic on time.”

She nodded. “I’ll make sure Linda is up so she can come out and watch him.“

Barry watched as Iris left to get her friend. Her ass swayed as she walked away from him and he had to look away. The longing inside him to take her in his arms and prove once and for all that he would never leave her again was strong, but he resisted.

She was moving in with him. He had time, he hoped, to slowly chip away at the bricks around her heart. The shield that he’d put there. By God, he’d dismantle that wall one brick at a time if it was the last thing he’d ever do. He’d make sure Iris knew he was serious about being there for her, or die trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! How is everyone doing? I hope you are well, safe and happy. That was a long chapter, I hope you enjoyed it. I always worry that sometimes my chapters are too long and perhaps not engaging in its entirety. I hope that’s not the case. Sometimes I let the doubter voice in my head take control, which is something I need to work on. Anyway, Iris is moving in with Barry. I know it seems that she is taking a long time to let Barry back into her heart, but the hurt and anguish that he inflicted broke her in a way that she hasn’t really ever recovered from. For those of you wanting Barry and Iris to finally be together, I promise they will, but I want Iris’s journey to be true to herself and her heart. As always, I appreciate you taking the time to read and support my story. THANK YOU!


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry takes Iris to his apartment which he hopes will soon become their apartment, their home.  
> Iris opens her heart more to Barry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys,
> 
> I hope you all are well. It’s been so long, far too long, since I’ve updated this work. My world has been upside down of late. I recently moved and have been dealing with the fallout of that and of course, as you all know, our collective world is in a lot of turmoil. For me, I have to have some peace of mind when I write and I haven’t had that in a long time, hence the delay of this story. Over the past few days I have felt like writing so here is the latest chapter. Not terribly long but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. ❤️

Three days later, Iris nervously stood in the elevator of Barry’s apartment complex with him. He’d picked her up from the clinic and told her he wanted to show her what he’d done to make his place safe for Henry……….and to get her approval.

She wasn’t sure moving in with him was the best decision, but she couldn’t deny she was excited about it. Barry had the power to hurt her, badly, but after having another long talk with Linda the other night, she’d decided to go for it. She only had one life to live, and something her friend said really stuck with her.

She’d agreed the possibility Barry would hurt Iris was there, but then she’d said, “But what if he doesn’t? What if you move in and you find that he’s exactly what you’ve missed for the last three years?”

And Linda was right. Iris didn’t want to deny Henry the chance to know his father, and she really didn’t want to deny Barry the right to know his son. Besides, deep down, Iris knew she still loved the man. If there was even the slightest chance they could get back what they’d had three years ago, she’d be an idiot to not at least try.

Iris jerked when she felt Barry gently entwine his fingers with hers.

“Relax, Doc. It’s going to be fine.”

She nodded and gripped his hand harder, loving how it felt in hers. Startled, Iris realized she’d never held hands with Barry before.

His hand was big and completely engulfed hers. His calluses felt rough against her own smooth, delicate skin. But this small gesture made her feel protected and cared for.

The elevator chimed when they reached the fourth floor and Barry exited, not letting go of her hand. He nodded at a man and woman who were waiting for the elevator and continued down the hall.

His apartment was at the very end of the hallway. He pushed the door open and stood to the side, gesturing for her to enter ahead of him.

“Welcome home,” he said softly. She bit her lip. God, those words sounded so good.

Instead of doing what she really wanted to———-flinging herself into his arms and wanting him to take her to bed———she calmly walked into his space.

His musky, earthy familiar scent entered her nose and she inhaled it deeply. It was something she had missed horribly after he had left, and the memories from the smell left her almost lightheaded.

“Are you all right?” He asked quietly from beside her.

Iris realized she’d closed her eyes and probably looked like a dork just standing there in his entryway. She nodded and looked up at him. “Yeah……..it smells like you. I just……..it brings back a lot of memories.”

His lips curved up at her words. He curled a hand behind her neck and leaned down and kissed her forehead, leaving his lips on her skin for a long moment before pulling back. “Your scent, that vanilla, was the first thing I noticed about you too. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed it until I had it back.”

Then he straightened and put his keys into a basket on a small table in the foyer. “I tried to do everything you mentioned the other day…….putting away small items Henry could choke on and getting those little locks for the kitchen cabinets, but I had no idea if it was enough. I called Cisco‘s girlfriend—- you know Cisco, he’s been with you at the clinic a few times. Anyway, Cisco and Kamilla don’t have any kids yet, but she has a ton of nieces and nephews. She came over and helped me babyproof everything.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Why are you so surprised?”

Iris shrugged. “I guess I just thought you’d be upset at having your place disturbed.” 

Barry leaned in close. “I told you once and I’ll tell you again, as many times as you need me to, I don’t give a shit about the stuff in my apartment. It’s just that, stuff. I care about you and our son. I want him to be safe and happy here. And I want you to be able to relax when you step through the door. And you can’t do that if you’re constantly worried about what he’s putting in his mouth or if he’s going to be hurt.”

She swallowed. Hard. God, he was going to be impossible to resist.

Iris made a decision right then and there. Standing in his front foyer, before she’d even seen his apartment. She decided to give their relationship everything she had. She couldn’t do it halfway.

He had gone above and beyond to try to prove that he had changed. He’d arranged it so he could be by her side every day for the last month or so. He’d spent every night for the last few weeks in his car, watching over her and Henry. He’d gone out of his way to be nice to her parents and Linda, and he hadn’t gone overboard, insisting she quit her job and hide out at home until the threat from the Thawne’s was over.

Not only that, but he’d done his best to keep a respectable distance between them, even though she’d caught a look of such longing and lust in his eyes a few times it had made her knees weak.

No, she was the one who’d been holding back. Guarding her heart and not letting him make even the smallest headway. She’d been the one to keep his son a secret from him. She’d been the one to keep him at arm’s length when he’d shown no indication he was the angry man he’d been three years ago.

“I’m sure whatever you’ve done to the apartment is perfect,” she said softly. “As long as you’ve done the basics, we can figure out what else needs to be done once we move in.”

He seemed to relax at her words, as if he’d expected her to be unbending and over the top about the apartment safety, and Iris realized once more how much she had kept him at arm’s length.

Barry then gave her a thorough tour of his space. He pointed out every electrical outlet and security cover and told her that he’d actually giving his old coffee table to one of his friends because he thought the corners were too sharp. The new table was wood with curved edges. He moved all of his DVDs and CDs to the highest shelves of the built in entertainment center. Room after room showed his careful attention to detail in making sure his son would be safe in his apartment. 

He showed her an empty room, which he explained would be Henry’s. There was a faint outline of a picture on one of the walls. It was a rough pencil drawing, the kind of thing artists did before they started actually using paint.

“What’s that?” Iris asked.

Barry shrugged a little self-consciously. “One of the guys I work with is married to an artist. I asked if she could come over and make the room a little more boy friendly. She should be here tomorrow to finish it up.”

Iris stepped closer to the wall and her eyes widened as the picture came into focus. She knew without a doubt it was going to be a masterpiece when it was finished. The art would take up the entire wall, and was going to literally be a jungle. And within the trees were dinosaurs. They peeked out from behind bushes and rocks.

Turning to Barry, she said, “This is perfect.”

“Really?” He asked.

Nodding, not sure how he could think otherwise, she tried to reassure him. “My God, Barry, he’s going to adore this. He loves dinosaurs. He’s never going to want to leave this room.”

“I didn’t want it to be too much, but when I saw the sketch of what she wanted to do, I told her to make it bigger, to make it cover the entire wall.”

Without thought, Iris stepped toward Barry and stood on her tiptoes. She brushed her lips over his in a light kiss. “It’s perfect.”

She froze as his arms came around her waist and he hauled her against him. She was still on her toes, and felt as though the two of them were in some sort of weird time bubble. A memory seared into her brain of another time they’d stood like this. She’d made him dinner and he’d come up behind her, kissing her neck suggestively. She’d turned in his embrace and stood on her tiptoes so she could reciprocate.

Dinner had burned, but neither had cared.

Iris felt her nipples peak and her panties grow damp from the erotic memory.

She stared up at Barry, trying to read his emotions in his eyes. He moved then, slow enough that she could pull back if she wanted. His head dropped toward hers.

But Iris had no desire to pull away from him. She licked her lips. After her decision mere minutes ago, she wanted this. Wanted his lips on hers. Wanted to know if the desire coursing through her veins was only one sided.

Her eyes closed as she felt his warm breath against her cheek. He kissed her there, then his lips lightly brushed over her sensitive skin as he inched his way to her mouth. Then he was there. His mouth covered hers and they both moaned.

At first, the kiss was tentative, as if they were both unsure. But when Iris opened to him, any reticence on either of their parts were lost. Barry’s tongue surged into her mouth as he took control. One hand came up to her head and held her to him as the other tightened on her back, pressing her harder into him so there wasn’t an inch of space between their bodies.

Iris could feel his erection against her stomach, hot, hard, and oh so familiar. One of her hands shoved under his shirt and her fingernails raked against the small of his back as she tried to get closer to him. The other held onto his bicep as he bent her backward.

All the while, his tongue dueled with hers. He refused to let her pull away from him. When she gasped for air, he nibbled on her lower lip. He thrust his tongue in and out of her mouth, imitating the act of making love to her. When she tried to push inside his mouth, he blocked her, wrapping his tongue around hers, he wanted to devour her. He was losing control. 

Iris went boneless in his arms, letting him do what he wanted. She loved it. Every second. She wanted to tear her clothes off. She was ready, more than ready. One kiss was all it had taken for all her pent up lust to come roaring to the surface. She wanted him. All of him.

To her disappointment, instead of ripping her clothes off, he took his mouth from hers, hauled her upright, and buried his face into the space between her neck and shoulder, and held her to him in an embrace so tight, she didn’t know where he ended and she began.

They stood like that for at least a minute, both breathing heavily, their chests moving in and out in tandem. Iris swore she could feel his dick throbbing against her stomach. Her breasts hurt because her nipples were so hard and she knew if she even brushed against her clit, she’d come.

But still Barry didn’t move. Finally, she whispered, “Barry?”

She felt him shake his head against her shoulder.

Now she was worried. “Barry?” She tried again. “Are you okay?”

She leaned her head away from him, as much as she could since he wouldn’t let her go, and turned to stare at his face.

He finally looked up, and Iris was alarmed to see that his eyes were wet as if he was on the verge of crying. She never thought she’d ever see the day when Barry Allen cried.

“Oh my God, what? Are you hurt? What’s wrong?”

He shook his head, but didn’t take his gaze from hers. She saw him swallow hard before he spoke. “I never thought I’d have this again. Never thought I’d have you again. I’ve dreamed about it for three years, but I didn’t think you’d ever give me another chance.”

Iris relaxed now that she knew nothing was seriously wrong.

He took a deep breath and used his shoulder to wipe his face, then ran his palm down her arm until he reached her hand, clasping it in his own. “Ready for the rest of the tour?”

Iris nodded, shell-shocked. She’d just seen Barry as vulnerable as she had ever seen him before. He hadn’t seemed ashamed of his tears, which blew her away. She had made the decision to give their relationship another chance, and it seemed as if letting down her guard had in turn lowered his. For the first time since he had come barreling back into her life, Iris thought they just might have a shot.

He showed her the second guest room, which was filled with boxes. He assured her that the room could and would be locked, so Henry wouldn’t get into mischief in there. She hadn’t really thought about the ramifications of that second guest room being so filled with crap until he opened the door to the master bedroom. 

The huge king size bed immediately drew her eyes. The bedframe was nothing fancy, a simple solid head and footboard. But Iris couldn’t take her eyes off the mattress. It was covered with a navy blue duvet, which looked ultra soft and luxurious. It made her want to immediately go and lay down, test to see if it was as comfortable as it looked.

And that made her think about the sleeping arrangements. Her eyes whipped up to Barry’s.

As if he could read her mind, he said, “I want you here. In my bed.”

“I’m not sure……I just……..” Iris wasn’t sure what she wanted to say. Minutes ago, she had been ready for Barry to take her however he wanted, but now, after she had a chance to rein in her raging libido, she wasn’t sure about taking their relationship to the next level so quickly.

“It’s a big bed. We could sleep next to each other and not come close to touching.”

She smiled, a memory flashing through her brain as if it had happened yesterday rather than over three years ago. “Really? You think that’ll work? I seem to remember you always hogging my side of the bed.”

He blushed. Barry actually blushed, but he didn’t pull away from her and he didn’t try to hide his embarrassment. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s probably not possible. I might be able to keep my hands to myself, but the second I fall asleep, I know I’d unconsciously sneak over to your side and pull you into my arms and hold you as close as I could.”

There went her pesky heart again, pumping out of control at his words.

“I can sleep on the couch,” he went on, as if he hadn’t rocked her world. “I’ll have to ask you to keep the bedroom door open though, so I can hear if you need me in the night. I’m pretty confident in the building’s security, but I’m not putting anything past those assholes. With my luck, they’ll figure out a way to levitate and come in through the window in the middle of the night to get you.”

Iris really didn’t like that image.

Her thoughts must have shown on her face, because Barry brought a hand up and brushed the back of his fingers down her cheek. “You’re safe here, Doc. From Eobard and Edward, even from me. I’ll give you as much space as you need. We can take our relationship slow. I’m just so damn thankful you’re here. It seems appropriate that when I needed a place to go, to feel safe, you opened up your home to me, and now here I am doing the same for you. Full circle.”

Iris nodded. She wasn’t sure what she wanted anymore. One second she wanted to jump Barry’s bones, and the next she was freaked simply by looking at a bed. It made no sense, and she was sick to death of her own thoughts.

“You’ve done a good job, Barry. I don’t think Henry could be any safer.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“So you’ll move in?”

Iris nodded. “Yeah.”

“When?”

She couldn’t help it. He looked so eager and excited, it was as if he were a kid waiting to go trick-or-treating or something. “I don’t know. I’ll have to look at my schedule and talk to my parents.”

“Soon though, right?” 

“Yeah. Are you sure you aren’t going to regret this? You’ve been a bachelor for a long time,” Iris said.

“I’m positive. I can’t wait to have you both here with me all the time.”

“Well, maybe not all the time,” Iris teased. “We do have to work you know.”

“You know what I mean,” he retorted, wrapping the hand that was holding hers around her waist.

She stood there in his embrace, one hand held captive in his behind her back, and simply soaked in the contented feeling of being with him.

“Do you think your parents will be willing to continue to watch Henry during the day? I don’t want to take advantage of them, and we can start looking for a good, safe daycare for him if we need to.”

“They’re willing. My mom actually talked to me about this the other night. She was worried they wouldn’t get to see him as much if I move out.”

“Okay, Doc. We’ll plan on taking him to your parents house in the mornings before we go to work and one of us can pick him up when we get off.”

She smiled up at him. “You’re being awfully accommodating.”

“Don’t you understand? I’d do anything for the two of you. Anything. You and Henry are the most important people in my life now. No one and nothing comes before your well-being.”

Iris blinked. She had been teasing, but his answer was one hundred percent serious. She’d lived a good life. Had great parents, good friends, had never really wanted for anything. But Barry’s proclamation made goosebumps break out on her arms.

She couldn’t speak, so she simply nodded.

He leaned down and brushed his lips over hers in a brief caress. The look in his eyes said he wanted more, but he stood up and twirled her, breaking her out of her surprised stupor and making her laugh. “Come on, let’s go. It’s been too long since I’ve seen our son.”

“It’s only been like four hours.”

“Like I said, too long,” Barry retorted.

He held her hand as they left his apartment, during the elevator ride, and all the way to his car. And once he’d settled into the driver’s seat and they were on their way, he took her hand in his once more.

Iris stared down at their entwined fingers and smiled. She liked this new Barry. A lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that. I know some of my wonderful readers are problem screaming, “FINALLY!” At Iris for making the decision to let Barry back in. LOL! In having Iris wait I was hoping to drive home the point of how deeply Barry hurt and devastated her. Now she has taken the first step to rebuilding the relationship so we shall see where that goes. I really do hope to have more timely updates. Thank you all for your patience, understanding and hanging in there with me. I appreciate you all.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry gets a taste of what fatherhood is really like.

Iris had tried to get Barry to stay the night at her parents house, but he had refused, saying it just wasn’t right. She had no idea what was “wrong” about it, but he’d refused to budge. She was a little irritated that he preferred to sit outside in his car all night rather than be inside with her and their son, especially after all his talk of it being easier to protect her if he was with her.

It was Saturday night, and she and Linda were alone in the house with Henry. Her parents had gone out of town for a date night, something they had done periodically over the years. They’d spend the night at a fancy hotel and “reconnect.” Their words, not hers.

She and Linda were hanging out on the couch and chatting. Henry had fallen asleep an hour before and they were enjoying the girl time.

“I just don’t understand why he won’t come inside,” Iris bitched to Linda for what seemed like the hundredth time.

Her friend merely shrugged. “It’s a guy thing.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Linda said with confidence. “Look, I’m not going to pretend I know exactly what he’s thinking, but I’m guessing it has something to do with the way he looks at you.”

“How does he look at me?” Iris asked.

“As if he wants to tear off all your clothes and have his wicked way with you.”

Iris felt a flash of heat rise in her cheeks. “He does not.”

“Yeah, Iris, he does. And he probably doesn’t want to risk losing control and doing just that when you’re still living under your dad‘s roof.”

“But I’m twenty-six, not fifteen.”

“Doesn’t matter. It’s still your dad’s house.”

“That’s just stupid,” Iris complained.

“Remember how I told you about my uncle and how alpha he was?”

“Yeah.”

“Then trust me. I know what I’m talking about.”

Iris huffed out a breath. “I just don’t want him to be uncomfortable and I don’t like thinking about him sitting out there in his car all night.”

“When are you moving in with him?”

“Probably next week.”

“He’ll live until then,” Linda declared.

Iris laughed. “You’re so mean.”

“Nah. Besides, it’s good for him. A man never died from being horny, no matter what they might claim otherwise.”

Both women laughed.

“You’re sure you’re okay with this?” Iris asked.

“You moving in with him? Definitely. It’s about time you went after what you want. And what you want is Barry.”

“I just feel bad about leaving you here.”

“Don’t,” Linda said. “I’ll probably be going back to Star City in a month or so. My uncle is threatening to haul me back up there tomorrow if I don’t give him an exact date on when I’m returning. My aunt........”

Just then, Iris’s phone rang. She leaned over to the coffee table and picked it up. It wasn’t too late, nine o’clock on a Saturday, but getting a call at this time and at night wasn’t usual.

“Hello?” She listened for a minute, then said, “I’ll be there as soon as I can. Call her back and tell her to meet me there.”

As soon as she hung up, Linda asked, “An emergency?”

Iris nodded. “Yeah, the clinic’s answering service got a message about one of the homeless teenagers I’ve been seeing. Apparently, she’s been in labor for a while and didn’t tell anyone. The woman she’s been hanging with on the streets called and said she can’t wait until tomorrow when we’re open. Can you stay and watch Henry while I go in?”

Linda shook head. “No. You can’t go by yourself. It’s dark, Iris. Barry would lose his mind. I’m coming with you.”

Iris chewed her lip. “I can’t call my parents, it’s not fair to them. Maybe I could bring Henry with me.”

“Call Barry,” Linda ordered. “If you don’t, I’ll march my ass outside and drag him in here myself.”

“I don’t wanna bother him,” Iris protested.

“You aren’t alone anymore,” Linda said reasonably. “You don’t have to do everything by yourself. Call him.”

Iris nodded reluctantly and tapped on Barry’s number in her contacts.

He answered after only one ring. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Well, sorta. I need some help.”

“Hang on, I’m coming in.”

Iris stared down at the phone in disbelief. She looked up at Linda. “He hung up on me.”

The doorbell rang.

Linda giggled. “He might’ve hung up, but he sure doesn’t mess around when it comes to getting to your side when you need him.” She stood and headed to the front door to let Barry in.

Iris had just stood up when Barry was there. “What do you need?”

“I just got a call from the clinic’s answering service. I need to go into work and I need Linda with me to help.”

Barry immediately understood her dilemma. “You can’t go downtown by yourself.”

“I know, that’s why I called you.”

Some of the tension in his face eased at her words. He brought his hand to the back of her neck and pulled her into him, as he’d been doing more and more. He hadn’t ever done it in the past, but now he did it all the time. Iris loved it. It was tender and loving, and never failed to make her feel closer to him. He rested his forehead against hers for a second, then pulled back and took a deep breath.

“This sucks,” he said, surprising her. At her raised brows, he explained. “I don’t want you out of my sight, but I’m not keen on having anyone else watch Henry either. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to call two of my friends and have them go with you and Linda to make sure you’re safe and this isn’t Eobard’s way of getting his hands on you. I’ll stay here with Henry.”

“You’re asking me if it’s okay?”

“Yeah, Doc. I’m asking you.”

Iris slowly nodded. “Okay, that’ll work. But I need to get down there quickly. I really don’t think this is Eobard. The kid in question really is pregnant. It’s a bit early for her to be in labor, so I want to make sure something isn’t wrong.”

Barry nodded and pulled his phone out of his back pocket and clicked on a contact.

Within five minutes, he’d arranged for Cisco and Ralph to meet her at her house.

Iris felt humbled that Barry’s friends would drop everything on a Saturday night to help her. They didn’t even really know her. She said as much to Barry.

“They’re my friends, and they know I’d do the same for them if they asked.” He shrugged. “It’s what friends do.”

“I know, but it’s a pain in the ass,” she protested.

“I told you once that I’d do anything for you, Doc, and this is part of that. If you need something and I can’t provide it for you, I’ll call every friend I have and turn in any marker in order to get it for you.”

She was beginning to understand a little of what Linda had talked to her about earlier. Barry was a man who took care of his own. No matter what that entailed. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me. Not for this. If I buy you a giant diamond necklace, you can thank me. If I go with you to the opera, when I hate the opera, you can thank me. But you never thank me for taking care of you and our son and making sure you’re both safe. Got it?”

She nodded.

“Good. Now, before you leave, give me the rundown real fast on what to do if Henry wakes up.”

Iris spent the next fifteen minutes making sure Barry knew where the extra bottle was and what to do if he woke up hungry or with a dirty diaper. The toddler was getting better at sleeping through the night, but sometimes still woke up. Something occurred to Iris. “You have changed a diaper before, haven’t you?”

Barry shrugged. “No, but how hard can it be? I’ve seen it done on television.”

Iris resisted the urge to laugh. He was completely serious. Well, if their son woke up, he’d find out for himself soon enough how hard it could be.

A knock sounded on the door and Linda went to answer it, letting in both Cisco and Ralph. After explanations of what was going on, Barry walked Iris to the door. Linda had gone on ahead with Cisco and Ralph.

“Stay safe,” Barry implored. “Now that you’re back in my life, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Nothing is going to happen. I’m just going down to the clinic to assess Allegra. I’ll call the ambulance if it looks like she is really about to give birth. Most of the time, especially when it’s their first child, it’s a false alarm.”

“What do you know about the woman who called the answering service?” Barry asked. “Is she trustworthy?”

Iris shrugged. “I don’t know her all that well, but her name is Caitlin and she’s brought Allegra in a couple times.”

“And she’s homeless too?”

“Yeah. But she doesn’t seem like a typical homeless person.”

“What do you mean?” Barry asked.

Iris shrugged. “Just that she doesn’t seem like she’s hit rock bottom, like a lot of the homeless I’ve met. She honestly seems like someone who had some bad luck in their life and is trying to dig her way out.”

Barry studied her for a second, then nodded. “Okay. Do whatever Ralph and Cisco tell you to. If they say to get down, drop to your belly immediately. If they tell you to run, you run and don’t look back. Got it?”

“I’m going to be fine.”

“Got it?” Barry asked again in a harder tone.

“Got it,” Iris dutifully repeated.

Then for the third time since he’d come back into her life, Barry kissed her. Really kissed her. His head tilted and he took her mouth with as much intensity as he had the last time they’d made out, only this time their kiss was shorter, and thus way less satisfying.

“Come back to me, Iris,” he whispered. “I’ll keep our son safe.”

Iris nodded and backed away from him. She turned so she wouldn’t fall down the steps that led up to the front door and looked back. Barry was still standing in the doorway, his intense gaze on hers.

Even when Cisco was backing down the driveway, Barry still stood there, watching.

********************

Six hours later, Iris and Linda pulled into the driveway back at the house. They’d arrived at the clinic and Caitlin and Allegra had been waiting for them. Ralph and Cisco had made sure the clinic was safe and empty, and then she and Linda had gotten to work.

Allegra had been given a thorough examination, and even though she was several centimeters dilated and in a considerable amount of pain, because her water hadn’t broke, Iris wanted to try to stop the labor. Allegra was only thirty three weeks along and it would be better if the baby had more time in her womb.

Allegra was freaked out, Caitlin was worried, and Iris was on edge. It was pitch black outside and, for the first time, she was worried that this would make an excellent opportunity for Eobard and Edward to make their move.

Three hours later, despite all of Iris’s efforts, Allegra’s water had broken and Linda called the paramedics. Allegra hadn’t wanted to go to the hospital at all, and it had taken both Caitlin and Iris to convince her she needed to for the health of her unborn baby.

Wanting to make sure all was well, Iris and Linda had convinced Ralph and Cisco to take them to the emergency room.

It was now three in the morning. Allegra hadn’t had her baby yet, but she was being looked after by the doctors in the hospital and they reassured Iris they had things well in hand. Caitlin was allowed to stay with Allegra, and Iris and Linda had just been in the way.

Cisco and Ralph had accompanied them home and refused to leave until they made sure everything was still secure. Expecting to see Barry when she let everyone into the house, Iris was surprised when he was nowhere to be seen.

Ralph made her and Linda stand in the large foyer while he and Cisco cleared the entire house.

Several minutes later they returned, both with huge grins on their faces.

“What?” Iris asked.

“Nothing,” Cisco said.

“The house is clear,” Ralph told her, still smiling from ear to ear.

Something was up, but Iris had no idea what.

“Where’s Barry?” Iris asked.

“He’s in Henry’s room,” Cisco said.

Iris nodded and put her purse on the front table. “Thank you for coming over tonight. I really appreciate it.”

Cisco waved off thanks. “We’d do anything for Barry. He’s gone above and beyond for us, and it’s actually nice to be able to do something for him for once.”

“He’s a good man,” Ralph told Iris. “Not the most open guy I’ve ever met, but I know it’s because of his background. He’s crazy about you and Henry though. Don’t doubt that.”

“He’s talked about us?” Iris asked.

Cisco laughed. Threw his head back and laughed as if she’d said the funniest thing ever.

“What?” Iris asked, confused.

Cisco pulled out his cell and clicked on a few buttons before handing it to Iris. “Right after he met him, he sent this group text to all of us.”

Iris took the phone and scrolled. Her eyes widened as she realized what she was looking at. He’d sent a crap load of pictures to his friends. She knew these were photos her mom had taken, she’d told her all about how Barry had asked if she would take a picture of him and his son. And she’d snapped more than one. She’d taken a dozen or more. They were candids, and the awe and love that shone in Barry’s eyes as he looked at Henry was clear to see.

But it was what he’d typed to his friends that made her eyes tear up.

Barry: I’d like you to meet my son, Henry. 

Barry: Good thing he takes after his mom because otherwise he’d be an ugly bastard.

Barry: He’s smart as hell. 

Barry: I’ve never been so humbled or so happy in all my life. 

Barry: I can’t wait for you all to meet him. 

Each line was accompanied by a different picture. Henry with his messy hands on Barry’s cheek. Barry laughing at something his son had done. Only one picture had both father and son looking at the camera, but Iris thought all of the others were better.

“He’s definitely talked about you two,” Cisco unnecessarily concluded, still chuckling at her earlier question.

“You’ve got our numbers, right?” Ralph asked as she gave Cisco back his phone.

“Yes.”

“Use them if you need to. If you can’t get ahold of Barry or if something happens, don’t hesitate to contact one of us.”

Iris nodded. “I will. Thank you.”

Ralph and Cisco nodded at her, and Cisco said, “We’ll show ourselves out.”

Iris thanked them once more. She wasn’t stupid enough to turn down Ralph’s offer to contact them if something happened. If Eobard somehow got to her, she’d fight tooth and nail to do whatever it took to get away from him and back to Henry and Barry.

“I’ll lock up,” Linda said softly from next to Iris. “You go on up and check on Henry.”

“Thanks,” Iris told her friend with a small smile. “You don’t have to work tomorrow, do you?”

“Yup. But not until eleven. I’m good.”

Iris hugged Linda. “You’re the best.”

“I know,” Linda returned with a smirk. “Go on. I’ll see you in the morning before I head out.”

Iris tiptoed up the stairs and hesitated in front of her son’s door before taking a deep breath and pushing it open. What she saw stopped her in her tracks.

The room was a disaster. If Cisco and Ralph hadn’t been so relaxed and sure that the house was clear, she would’ve panicked.

There were diapers strewn all around Henry’s changing table. A couple of them we’re open but unused. Baby powder covered the changing table like a fine mist. Toys were everywhere, and even the rocking chair she’d used all the time when Henry was younger was tipped over.

Iris couldn’t even process what she was seeing. Her eyes went to Henry’s crib. She needed to make sure her son was all right.

She could only gape in surprise at the sight that greeted her.

Henry was sound asleep, both arms thrown over his head, his legs splayed open. He was naked except for a small towel wrapped around his waist.

But it was the man wrapped around the boy that stopped her heart. Barry was lying inside her son’s crib. Inside the crib. He was on his side and his legs were drawn up in what looked like an uncomfortable position. One arm was under his head, being used as a pillow, and his other hand was resting on Henry’s chest. He was curled around his son, as if he were protecting him even in his sleep. There were a few stuffed animals in the crib with them, and Iris could see the edge of a book under one of Barry’s thighs.

She stood there for what seemed like an hour before she moved. And it was only to slowly reach around to her back pocket and pull out her phone. The light in the room was dim, Henry’s nightlight giving her enough light to see, but not really enough for her to take a good quality picture. But she wanted to try anyway.

Seeing Barry wrapped around their son after what could only be described as one hell of a night, if the room around her was any indication, was something she’d remember for the rest of her life. She snapped a few pictures, then put the phone back in her pocket. As quietly as she could, Iris righted the rocking chair and moved it closer to the crib.

It had been a long time since she’d stayed awake and simply watched her son sleep, but she couldn’t make herself leave. She was exhausted, utterly drained, but seeing Barry scrunched up inside the crib made her heart melt.

She had never understood when women posted comments on social media about their ovaries exploding under pictures of hot guys, but she got it now. Boy, did she.

Iris suddenly wanted another baby with Barry more than she wanted to breathe. She wanted to see him cradling their infant in his muscular arms. Wanted to see him get all googly eyed over a little girl. She was sad that he’d missed out on the first two years of Henry’s life, but she absolutely wanted to gift him with experiencing it with another baby. Or two. Or three.

Hell, she had it bad.

Iris eased her body back in the rocker and stretched her legs out, her eyes focused on the sleeping man and her baby boy. She fought sleep for the longest time, not wanting to miss one second of the beauty in front of her. But eventually she lost the battle, her eyes closed, and she drifted off to sleep, dreaming about brown haired little girls with emerald eyes like Barry’s and little boys who acted just like their daddy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed that chapter. Thank you so much for your kind comments. I might not be able to respond to your comments for this chapter but I will do my best. Love you all.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry recounts his terrible night to Iris.
> 
> The Thawne’s continue their plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains offensive racial terms.

Barry woke with a groan he instinctively muffled. He was stiff as hell and couldn’t figure out where he was for a split second. For a moment, he thought he was back with his unit overseas. Many a time he had woken up uncomfortable and stiff from sleeping God knows where.

But the night before immediately came back to him in a flash. He’d been so cocky, thinking he’d be able to handle things if Henry woke up while he was there.

How wrong he had been.

Henry had woken up screaming, and nothing he’d done had made him stop. The little boy kept asking for his mommy, and no amount of hugging, bouncing, or cuddling could calm him down. Barry had even tried to change his diaper, thinking maybe that was what was irritating his son so much, but that had been a bigger disaster.

Henry wouldn’t stop crying and wiggling all over the changing table. Barry dropped the basket with the diapers in it, scattering them all over the floor. And the poop. Oh my God, it was horrible. It was everywhere, in every crevice. Barry had used about three dozen of the little wipes to try to clean Henry up, and had gagged every other second. It was horrifying, disgusting, and a hundred other adjectives.

Then Barry couldn’t get the new diaper on his son. He gave up after the third try and just let the stupid thing fall to the ground with the others. He’d wrapped Henry in a towel and continued to do everything he could think of to distract him and get him to stop crying. All without luck. He’d finally crawled into his son’s crib with him and rubbed his chest until he had fallen asleep. Barry knew it wasn’t anything he’d done; the boy had simply exhausted himself.

Barry felt like a complete failure. On top of everything, he’d been so exhausted and worried, he’d slept like the dead. Hell of a lot of good he would’ve been if Eobard had burst into the room.

He was so disgusted with himself, Barry didn’t immediately notice he wasn’t alone in the room. When he did, he wasn’t sure if he should be embarrassed or relieved Iris was back.

Relief won out.

As carefully as possible, Barry sat up. He had one leg over the edge of the crib when Iris woke. She shifted in the rocking chair——the chair he remembered kicking over in frustration the night before when Henry was crying———-and opened her eyes.

“Hey,” she said softly, sitting up.

“Hey,” Barry repeated, finishing his escape from the crib.

“Rough night?” She asked, indicating the room with her eyes.

Barry stood for a moment, stretching his back, trying to get the kinks out, then he got down on his knees in front of her and inched his way toward her until she had no choice but to widen her thighs to give him room. He wrapped his arms around her waist and laid his head in her lap.

He felt her hands running over his scalp and sighed. “My God. I suck at this dad thing.”

She chuckled softly. “Why don’t you tell me what happened and how the room got to look like a hurricane came through.”

And he did. Leaving nothing out. He admitted to feeling helpless and scared when Henry wouldn’t stop crying. How disgusted he was with the diaper change. How he’d kicked the chair over in frustration. “I have no idea how you did it, Doc. I’ve read a lot about colic, and I feel so damn guilty you had to go through that on your own.”

“I wasn’t alone,” she said. “My parents helped.”

“Yeah, but it’s not the same.” How he knew that, he didn’t know, but the guilt he felt that she had gone through that period of time without him wouldn’t ease. He didn’t know if he’d ever get over it. “I had one night of it, and I’m sure he was crying because of something I did wrong or wasn’t doing for him. All he wanted was you, and I couldn’t give that to him.”

“Look at me,” Iris ordered.

Barry obeyed, looking up at her. He saw nothing but love in her eyes. He had no idea how he had gotten so lucky. She shouldn’t be looking at him like that. She should be disgusted at the fact he couldn’t hack one night with his son. Should still be pissed that he’d left her. But by some miracle, she didn’t seem to be.

“It gets easier with practice. You should’ve seen the first time I tried to change his diaper. It was a disaster.”

“As disastrous as that?” Barry asked, not taking his eyes from her but motioning to the diapers strewn around the room and the powder covering the changing table.

“Almost.”

Barry doubted that, but appreciated her trying to make him feel better.

“All I’m saying is to give yourself a break. You’ll get better at it. You’ll learn to read what he needs. When he’s around you more, he’ll allow you to comfort him too.”

She was being extremely generous. Barry brought a hand up to her head and ran it over her hair. “How was last night? When did you get in?”

“Long and tiring. We ended up calling the paramedics and Allegra was admitted to the hospital. We got back around three.”

Barry winced. “I’m sorry I didn’t hear you get home.”

“You were exhausted.”

“But I still should’ve heard you. It’s inexcusable that I didn’t.”

“I’m fine,” Iris said, letting him off the hook when she probably shouldn’t. “I have Wednesday off……would that work for us moving in?”

Barry closed his eyes, saying a short prayer of thanks before opening them and nodding. “Absolutely. That’s perfect. Better than perfect. Henry’s mural should be finished this weekend. I can see if some of the guys will help.”

“And you really don’t mind us moving in?”

“No. A thousand times no. I’m looking forward to it.”

Henry stirred in his crib, and Barry groaned.

Iris laughed. “I’ve got him. Why don’t you go shower?”

Barry shook his head. “No. I want to watch you change him. See how to do it. Then I’ll clean up this mess and you can get him some breakfast. I’ll watch him while you get dressed.”

She stared at him with a look he couldn’t interpret.

“What?”

“Thank you,” she whispered.

Barry stood and held out his hand. He helped her out of the rocking chair. Then he leaned down and kissed her forehead. “You don’t have to thank me for doing what I should’ve been doing all along.”

And with that, he went to the crib and picked up his fidgeting son. Henry’s forehead wrinkled when he saw his dad. His eyes swung right and then left, as if looking for his favorite human.

Barry chuckled. “She’s right here, slugger.” He handed their son over to Iris and smiled when Henry sighed in relief. “I feel the same way, son.”

Iris smiled at him, then turned her attention to Henry. She cuddled him for a moment, then asked Barry, “Will you get me a clean diaper? And some talcum powder?”

Barry got her what she needed and watched in rapt attention as she quickly and easily put the diaper on Henry. What had taken him over fifteen minutes to screw up, she’d completed in one. “You make that look so easy,” he said in awe.

“After you’ve changed thousands of diapers, it is easy.”

And Barry supposed it was. Just as chambering a bullet was easy for him. Just as being able to read the wind currents and gauge the distance between him and a target through the scope of his rifle was easy.

He shook his head, ridding his mind of his past. “Go on,” he said quietly. “Get him settled downstairs. I’ll be down once I clean up this disaster.”

He remained still as Iris came toward him with Henry in her arms. The toddler was content now that his mom was home. He sucked his thumb as he rested his head on her shoulder. Iris was wearing the same clothes she’d had on the night before, her hair was in disarray and her eye make up was smeared, but she had never looked as beautiful to him as she did right that second, with their son in her arms and the relaxed look on her face.

“Thanks for looking after him last night.”

Barry couldn’t resist her. He placed a hand on her neck and gently brought her face to his. He kissed her lips then murmured, “Don’t ever thank me for that, Doc. He’s our son. It’s my job to be here for him. I’m not ‘helping you out’, I’m not ‘babysitting’. I’m simply doing what a father should.”

She brought a hand up and laid it on his cheek. He could see an abundance of emotion in her eyes, but she didn’t say a word. She simply nodded and backed away.

Barry let them go, and once they were out of the room, he looked around in disbelief. Sighing, he got to work cleaning up the mess he’d made the night before.

“It’s getting closer, Boy,” Eobard told his son. “The cops have finished their investigation of the school and left, so we can sneak back in and prepare. There’s just one more thing we need to do, then we’ll be ready.”

Edward nodded. He was eager to get on with it. Every day that passed was one less day he had with his little oriental girl. The faster he got his hands on her, the faster he could get her pregnant.

That was now all he could think about. He’d searched the Internet until he’d found the perfect website. Oriental Girls for Daddy. He was obsessed with it. The videos made him crave his own little oriental girl. And he’d have her……as soon as Father got on with his plan to kill Iris West.

Eobard continue to blabber about what he was going to do with the bitch once he had her in his clutches. He talked about how her son would become his son, and how he would start a new and better school in Mexico.

Edward tuned his father out once again. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew as soon as his father had the little boy he had his eye on and killed his mother, he’d have no more use for him. He was expendable.

But he didn’t care. Edward would have his own family. All he had to do was help his father kill the woman that had turned them in and destroyed their school then kidnap his oriental prize.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. How are you all doing? I don’t know about you, but 2020 is kicking my ass. I try to be positive and hopeful but everything seems so bleak and overwhelming. This is probably not the place to share such feelings but sometimes I feel my mood effects my writing. 
> 
> Anyway, did you enjoy that chapter? I originally wasn’t planning on doing a follow up chapter about Barry’s “diaper debacle’ of a night but I thought it was a good way for Iris and Barry to further their connection with one another. I hope you enjoyed it. And yes, the Thawne’s are back and their plan is about to come to fruition. 
> 
> Stay safe and be well. Love you all.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry finally tells Iris what happened on his last mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is well and safe. Thank you for continuing with this story.
> 
> The rating for this chapter is EXPLICIT. There are graphic descriptions of violence and death. I know that type of gruesome content is too much for some readers, so............ I have placed six asterisks(******) at the start and end of the part of the chapter that describes Barry’s last horrific mission. That way the chapter can still be read and hopefully enjoyed but not traumatizing for some readers. I hope that helps. I felt this level of violence was necessary in order for Iris and the audience to understand why Barry was the man he was three years ago.
> 
> Despite the dark subject matter I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Iris had agreed to move in with Barry, but hadn’t been completely sure if it would work out. Sure, she loved him, and recently he had done everything in his power to make her feel comfortable around him, but this was a big step.

But a week after he’d gotten a bunch of his friends to help move her things to his apartment, she was amazed at how………easy it was to integrate her life with his again.

Their routine had been set from the first morning. Breakfast, they’d take turns in the shower while the other watched Henry, then he’d drive them to her parents house and drop off their son. Then Barry would bring her to the clinic and wait with her until one of his friends showed up for security duty. After lunch, he’d reappear, and even if he had to wait an hour as she dealt with unexpected patients, he never acted irritated or pissed at the delay.

They’d then go and get Henry and spend the rest of the day together. Sometimes they did errands or let Henry run around the park to release his pent-up energy, but more often than not, they came back to the apartment and hung out.

Barry was getting better at changing Henry’s diapers, and had yet to show any irritation at the quirks of a toddler. His previously pristine apartment had been taken over by plastic toys, diapers, and sippy cups. The huge, expensive, fancy television was now mostly use for videos and cartoons for their son instead of sports or action movies.

And not once had he complained.

In fact, Iris hadn’t ever seen Barry look so happy and content.

But her absolute favorite moments were in the middle of the night. Barry had done his best to learn how to deal with Henry and his up and down emotions. When the toddler was happy, he was the sweetest child ever. When he was mad, he was a demon child, as was typical for most two-year-olds. Barry was learning when to get in and coddle him and when to stand tough.

Iris hadn’t been ready to sleep with Barry yet, even though deep down she really wanted that. She might’ve decided to do what she could to make the relationship work, but sleeping in the same bed, smelling his unique scent, knowing he was within inches of her, she just couldn’t do yet. That was the last step for her, a line that she knew, if crossed, she couldn’t come back from.

Barry had not seemed upset with her decision and hadn’t pressured her in the least. Iris had the baby monitor on the table next to his huge king size bed so she could hear if Henry needed her in the middle of the night. The first night, when she had woken up to Barry’s whispered words, she’d been confused. Then she realized she was hearing him speaking to Henry through the baby monitor.

She’d cried as she’d listened to him talking to their son. He spoke of his love for the toddler, of how he would be by his side as he grew up. How he would teach him to throw a football, and be protective and gentlemanly to women, and he’d be there if Henry needed a sounding board about school, girls, life.

But it was his whispered, one-sided conversations about her that reached straight to her heart and practically ripped it out of her chest.

“Your mom is the strongest person I know, and she loves you so much. You are the luckiest little boy in the whole world to have a mommy like Iris. No matter where you go or what you say to her, she will always love you. She has a huge heart and is the most forgiving person I’ve ever met. Even when you do stupid shit, like me, that you know is wrong, she’ll still forgive you.”

It was as if Barry was speaking right to her, but she knew he wasn’t. Knew he thought she was still sleeping soundly in his bed.

“I’ll teach you to cherish her. To never backtalk. To always tell her how much you love her when you leave the house and to thank her for all she does. I’ll show you with my actions how to treat a woman right, and give you a role model for when you grow up and are searching for someone of your own. I’ll make sure you know the right way to disagree, and the joys of making up afterward. I promise you’ll know nothing but love from your parents. I might not have been there when you were born, but I’ll damn sure be here from here on out.”

Another night, Iris tiptoed out of the master bedroom to Henry’s room and peeked in. Barry was sitting in the chair she’d spent many a restless night in with Henry. He was holding their son against his chest and slowly rocking back-and-forth as he talked to him.

Henry was fast asleep, his thumb in his mouth, but that didn’t stop Barry from telling him all about how wonderful his life was and how he’d do his best to make sure it was always wonderful, no matter what obstacles might be thrown in his way.

Iris had backed away, overcome with emotion. This was what she had dreamed about when she’d thought about having a family. A father who loved and cared as much about their children as she did. A man who was hands-on, who wouldn’t expect her to do everything in regards to the kids. Her own parents had been such a wonderful example, she hadn’t ever wanted to compromise.

But Barry had given her no choice. He’d left when she’d needed him the most. And that had hurt. But he was here now. Doing his best to make up for the time he had missed.

After a week, Iris knew she had to put a stop to Barry’s late night visits with his son. As much as they made her heart melt, it wasn’t good for either man or boy. They both needed to get back into a routine. Barry of sleeping through the night, and Henry not being coddled and rocked to sleep when he woke up.

They’d eaten dinner, and had settled on the couch to watch the news and relax before heading to bed when Iris brought it up.

“I appreciate you getting up and taking care of Henry in the middle of the night, but you can’t do that every night.”

“Why?”

“Because. You’re spoiling him.”

“So?”

Iris sighed and turned to face Barry. “Do you want to raise a boy who can’t sleep unless he’s rocked? It’s cute right now, but when he’s four, five, eight……..it won’t be cute anymore. He won’t be able to go to sleepovers because he needs his daddy. He’ll end up being addicted to video games and afraid of girls. He’ll be living with us when he’s in his thirties. He’ll probably be a serial killer who kidnaps women and forces them to rock him to sleep before killing them because they didn’t warm his bottle of milk to the right temperature.”

Barry blinked, then threw his head back and laughed hysterically.

Iris couldn’t stop staring at him.

After he’d controlled himself, he saw the way she was looking at him and asked, “What?”

“I’ve never seen you laugh like that before.”

“Yes you have,” he countered.

Iris shook her head. “No, I haven’t. When we were together before, you never laughed. Maybe chuckled, but you never let yourself go like that.”

At her explanation, Barry sobered. He took a deep breath and looked away from her. “I don’t think Henry will grow up to be a serial killer, and I’m pretty sure he’ll be a hit with the ladies, but your point is well taken. I just……..I missed so much time with him, and feel as if I don’t get my cuddles in now, I’ll miss out on them all together. Like you said, before we know it, he’ll be a teenager and won’t want his old man loving on him.”

“Maybe just love on him before he goes to bed then.”

“Okay, I can do that.” Barry looked at Iris. “I still don’t sleep well.”

“What?”

“I can count on one hand the number of nights in the last three years I’ve slept all the way through.”

Goosebumps broke out on Iris’s arms. She’d never seen Barry this serious. It was a night for firsts. “Why?”

She didn’t think he was going to answer. Several minutes went by as Barry collected his thoughts. Then he did something else she’d never seen him do before. He bent his knees and put his feet on the cushion at his ass. He wrapped his arms around his up drawn knees in a defensive position. She’d never seen him so vulnerable. So unsure.

“It’s a long story. One that started before we met,” he said softly, resting his chin on one of his knees.

Iris wanted so badly to go to him. To wrap her arms around him, much as she did with Henry when he was upset. But she sat as still as a statue, not wanting to interrupt. Not wanting to do anything that would stop him from explaining, finally, what had put him in the hospital and rehabilitation. What had happened on his fateful last mission.

“I joined The Agency right out of high school. I wasn’t ready for college and it seemed like the natural choice. My parents were awesome about it.”

“You don’t talk much about your family.”

Barry shrugged. “They’re alive and well. Mom and Dad live in Happy Harbour. They love the open spaces. I can’t deny it’s beautiful up there. I love them, but I’m not close to them like you are with your parents. They’re supportive of me, and every now and then we’ll talk on the phone, but I guess they’re a lot like me…….not very touchy-feely.”

Iris nodded. She could see that. Barry wasn’t the most demonstrative man when it came to outward displays of affection, but that made the little things he did all the more precious. Hand holding, his palm on the small of her back, the way he always greeted her by pulling her into him with a hand on the back of her neck..... yeah, she definitely loved the little things. She was sad for Barry, however, that he didn’t have a closer relationship with his parents, but she understood. He’d been away from Happy Harbour for a long time. “Any siblings?”

“No. Guess we have that in common.”

Iris nodded. “So you joined The Agency right out of high school…………” she prompted.

“Yeah. I was surprised to find that I really enjoyed it. I liked the camaraderie with the men in my unit. I excelled on the shooting range and after sitting through a recruitment session for Delta Force, I decided to try out. It was one of the toughest things I’d ever done and the only reason I made it through was because of the men who were going through it with me. We helped each other, held each other up when we had to, and talked smack until we graduated. I worked with those men for several years on my Delta Force team. We became closer than brothers. I was the sniper for our group. I was responsible for having their backs from afar.”

******He took a breath and held it for a few seconds before letting it out and continuing. “One day, my unit was tasked with manning a checkpoint. Not something we usually did, but the powers that be were running low on manpower because of a convoy that had headed out earlier in the day. My captain volunteered the team. I was on a roof a mile away, watching the vehicles and people that came in and out of the checkpoint. It was hot. Really hot, and I was baking on that rooftop in the sun. It wasn’t anything I hadn’t experience before, but for some reason, that day it was super irritating. Sweat kept dripping into my eyes, which for sniper, isn’t exactly ideal. I heard something behind me and when I turned to look, I saw a little boy. Probably around five. He was holding a canteen, and when he saw me looking at him, he offered it to me. I knew better, but I gestured him closer and took the water. I’d seen the boy around before, in the village near the base. He was cute. Had blonde hair and big blue eyes. He loved to play football———-soccer to you and me————and was always waving at the soldiers. I gratefully took a large gulp of the water. I’d swallowed before I realized something was wrong. The little boy was shaking so hard, I could easily see it when he got closer to me. He began to speak. I could only understand a small bit of Russian, but his words weren’t necessary when he pulled up his T-shirt.”

Iris’s heart was breaking for Barry. She had a feeling she knew what was coming, and she wanted to put her hands over her ears and yell at him to stop, but she did neither, just waited for him to get through what he needed to say so she could comfort him.

“He was wearing a belt filled with explosives. I just stared at him for a minute, not truly understanding what was happening. He said he was sorry———-then blew himself up. I was thrown backwards right off the roof. That’s how I got the back injury I was in the hospital with. I didn’t lose consciousness though. I saw that kid’s body parts flying through the air, mixed in with the debris from the building I’d been on top of moments before. Then I heard the explosions from the direction of the checkpoint. Those evil vigilantes knew I was on the roof. They knew I’d kill anyone who looked suspicious before they could get close enough to take out my team. So they sent a kid, an innocent little kid, to do their dirty work for them.”

Barry turned to look at Iris then, his eyes so full of self loathing it made her own eyes fill with tears.

“I killed them, Iris. Every single man on my team was wiped off the face of the earth because of my inattention.”

She couldn’t stand it any longer. Moving slowly so she wouldn’t spook him, Iris crawled across the couch until she was right next to him. She shoved one arm behind his back and the other she pressed between his up drawn knees and belly. He didn’t move from his defensive position, but she hugged him anyway. Laying her head on his shoulder, she squeezed him as hard as she could.

“Tell me about them,” she said softly.

“I can’t,” his words were a whisper.

“What?” Iris asked. She wanted to hear everything, or did she.

“I CAN’T………..I CAN’T……………I just…………..can’t Doc.”

Barry dropped his legs suddenly, scaring Iris, but he didn’t pull away. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. “I miss them, Doc. And I’ll never forgive myself for getting them killed.”

“How did they die?” Iris was trying to wrap her mind around how Barry thought he’d killed his team.

“From what I was told when I was in the hospital in Germany, it was a coordinated attack. The explosion in the village was their signal. Several men attacked at once. Including an asshole with a truck full of explosives.”

She thought about that for a second, then asked. “So, what could you have done to prevent it?”

“What?”

“You said it yourself, it was an ambush……..so what could you have done to prevent it?”

“I might not have prevented it, but I would’ve shot as many of those assholes as I could.”

“All of them?”

Barry growled, but he didn’t lift his head. Iris pushed. “Because it seems to me if they had a truck filled with explosives, there wouldn’t have been much you could’ve done about that. Yeah, you might’ve shot the driver, but wouldn’t the truck still have crashed into the checkpoint? And what about the other men? You couldn’t kill everyone who was attacking at the same time, right?”

“I could’ve killed most of them.”

Iris squeezed him. “Most of them, maybe. But not all.”

“Enough to give the guys some time to get to cover.”

“Barry, I wasn’t there. I’ve never had to shoot someone. Never had a group of people I’ve been as close to as you obviously were to your friends. But what if the situation was reversed? What if the ambush didn’t happen, and you were killed on that roof? Would you want your friends to feel guilty that they hadn’t been there to protect you? Would they be upset that you were by yourself instead of one of them being on your side?”

“It’s not the same thing.”

“Of course it is,” she scolded lightly. “I’m not a psychiatrist, but I spent a lot of time with survivors at that hospital. I know survivors guilt when I hear it. The bottom line is, maybe you made a mistake, but you didn’t force that boy to distract you. You didn’t make him blow the building up; he would’ve done it if you’d allow yourself to be distracted or not. And you certainly didn’t have anything to do with those men ambushing the checkpoint. They would’ve done it no matter who was there. It sucks, and I hate that it had to happen to you and your friends. But you didn’t kill them. Those vigilantes did. Not. You.”

She had no idea if she was getting through to him or not, but she couldn’t shut up. Not about this.

“This doesn’t compare to what you went through, not in the least, but after I had Henry and he wouldn’t stop crying, I got really depressed. I kept thinking, why me? What had I done to deserve this? To deserve a baby who wouldn’t stop screaming. My mom forced me to talk to a counselor who specializes in dealing with parents with colicky babies. The first thing she said was, ‘This is not your fault. He doesn’t have colic because of anything you did or didn’t do. It just is.’ Her words stuck with me. They made things easier to deal with, knowing the drink I’d had before I knew I was pregnant didn’t cause him to have colic. That all the stress I was under and the crying I did after you left hadn’t injured him somehow. There are a hundred different things that you might’ve done differently that day, but the outcome might still have been the same. And if the vigilantes hadn’t succeeded then, they would’ve just tried again. Maybe killed more people. More children.”

She grew as close to him as she could, trying to mold herself to him.

“I’m sorry that happened to you. I’m sorry you got hurt, and I’m sorry that you lost your friends, and their families lost their brothers, husbands, and sons. But look at where you are today. You’re a respected CCPD Detective. You’re a father. You have a loyal and amazing group of friends who sound exactly like your Delta Force team…….they’d do anything for you. There’s good and bad in everyone’s life, Barry. Sometimes you just have to concentrate on the good and let the bad go.”

He didn’t respond, but he didn’t pull out of her arms and storm away, as he would’ve three years ago.

Instead he shifted, pulling her with him until they were both lying on the couch. Iris was tucked against his side with the cushions behind her. She felt cocooned and protected in his embrace. And she was well aware that he’d probably done it unconsciously, put himself between the room and her.

******She told him something she’d been thinking, but hadn’t verbalized until now. “Thank you for telling me what happened, Barry. But you should know, it hasn’t changed my feelings toward you in any way, shape, or form. I might’ve been mad at you for leaving. I might’ve been confused about why you left so abruptly. But from the moment I realized it was you who had pounded on that window when Ralph was interrogating me about the school, I trusted you.”

She felt him jerk under her, but didn’t stop. “I didn’t even hesitate to ask if you would stay with Henry the other night when I had to go into the clinic. Even though I didn’t think you’d ever been around toddlers before, I knew nothing would happen to him while he was in your care. There’s no one I trust with his life more than you.”

“God, Iris, you need to stop.” Barry’s voice was raspy with emotion.

“No, I won’t.” She braced herself on an elbow so she could see his face better. “You might not know the little things, like exactly how to change a diaper or how much cream to use on his cute little butt, but you know the most important thing of all. How to love and protect him. And that is precious to me. If push ever came to shove, I have no doubt you’d do everything in your power to make sure he was safe, even if that meant you got in trouble or your life was in danger.”

That’s when the tears fell from his eyes. As if she’d turned on a faucet, they leaked out the corners of his eyes and soaked the cushion under his head. But he didn’t look away and he didn’t hide his emotions from her.

Iris dropped back down and hugged him, trying to show him with her actions how much he meant to her, and how much his opening up meant as well.

It might’ve been five minutes later, or it might’ve been an hour, but when his words came, they made any doubts she’d been harboring that she was doing the right thing by involving him in her life once more and moving in with him disappear as if they’d never existed in the first place.

“I love you. I’m sorry that I hurt you back then, but know that I’m a different man now. Better. I can’t promise to ever get over whatever part I might’ve played in my team’s death, but I swear to you here now, that I’ll be there for you and our son when you need me. If you doubt anything else I say, don’t doubt that.”

“I won’t.”

She felt one hand move up her back and rest on the nape of her neck. She smiled, knowing what was coming even as he tugged her closer to him. She lifted her head and felt the kiss on her forehead.

“It’s no wonder you can’t sleep through the night on this lumpy couch,” she joked. “Think you might be able to sleep better in your own bed?”

He didn’t play dumb. “If you’re in it with me, yes.”

Iris looked into it eyes. “I don’t think I’m ready for more than sleeping yet.”

“As long as I have you in my arms, I’ll be content.”

She narrowed her eyes at him in mock chastisement. “I didn’t say I’d never be ready, just not yet.”

He grinned from ear to ear, and she was so relieved to see it, she almost gave in and asked to be ravished.

“You let me know when you’re ready, Doc. I’ll let you use and abuse my body however you want.”

She grinned at him. “Promise?”

“Abso-fucking-lately.”

Iris shook her head. “I kind of doubt that. I remember how bossy you were in bed. You never let me play.”

He laughed. A low, rumbly sound that she felt between her legs. “You loved my bossy.”

She did. But refused to admit it.

“It’s almost scary how much I love you and our son,” Barry said. “You’re going to have to give me quite the incentive not to sneak out and go cuddle with him in the middle of the night,” he teased.

Iris raised an eyebrow. “Sleeping with me isn’t incentive enough?”

“Depends. If you mean sleeping next to you with two feet between us, no. If you mean holding you all night with you wearing my old T-shirt, yes.”

Iris couldn’t help the low mom that escaped. “I missed you,” she whispered, her turn to feel overly emotional.

“I missed you too, Doc. Every damn day.”

They lay on the couch in silence for a few more minutes before Barry rolled off and helped her stand. Without a word, they went to their son’s door and checked in on him before continuing to the master bedroom.

Iris showered, changed in the bathroom and got ready then crawled under the sheets as Barry took his turn in the bathroom. She almost swallowed her tongue when he reappeared wearing only a pair of red boxers. He turned off the lights and climbed onto the mattress as nonchalantly as if they hadn’t spent a night apart in the last three years.

He didn’t hesitate, and pulled her into his arms. Iris curled into him as naturally as she’d done when they’d been dating. His earthy smell wafted up and she sighed in contentment. Right before she fell asleep, she heard him say against her hair, “I’ve got your back, Doc. Your back, front, and everything else in between. I love you.”

She fell asleep with his heartbeat thudding heavily against her cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you for reading this chapter and your continued support. Love you guys.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With no secrets between them anymore, Barry and Iris grow closer and begin to navigate their life together.

Barry couldn’t remember the last time he had slept so deeply. He woke up at four-thirty, just as he did every morning, and for a moment he was confused. Then he remembered the night before. He was currently wrapped around Iris, his front to her back. One of his arms circled her chest and she was holding on to him as if he were a teddy bear. He inhaled and was rewarded by the vanilla scent of her hair.

The smell immediately made his blood flow south and his dick hardened against her ass. It was such a visceral reaction, he almost growled. Memories flowed through his head of all the times they’d made love in the mornings. He’d taken her just like this more than once, easing into her body from behind. Sometimes their loving would be sweet and easy, and other times he’d take her hard, with her moans encouraging him to pound into her.

Barry inhaled a long, slow breath, trying to get control over his libido. When he had graduated from the academy and first became a CCPD officer, he’d tried to put Iris out of his mind. He had gone on a few dates, and even went home with a woman he met at a bar one night. But as soon as he’d walked into her apartment, he knew he had made a mistake. He couldn’t touch her. Not when he still loved Iris. He’d made some lame excuse for needing to leave and had gotten out of there as soon as he could.

Even going home with the woman had made him feel as if he’d cheated on Iris, which was crazy since he hadn’t even known where she was at the time, but the feeling was there all the same. He’d been on a few more dates since, but had kept everything casual.

Having Iris back in his arms, and his son sleeping down the hall, made him feel complete once again. He couldn’t believe he had shared as much about his last mission as he had the night before, but he also knew it was necessary. If they were going to move on as a couple, which he wanted more than he wanted to breathe, he had to open up to her. Try to explain why he had been so angry three years ago.

And typical of Iris, she’d taken it in stride. She’d made some excellent points and deep down, Barry knew she was right. He’d made a mistake, but he wasn’t the one who had killed his team. The vigilantes were ruthless, and if their plan hadn’t work that day, they would’ve tried again. And again. It wasn’t as if they played fair.

As he lay there with Iris in his arms, Barry had an epiphany.

He had a son. He and Iris had created a human being together. He wouldn’t have Henry if he hadn’t been in the rehabilitation hospital. He wouldn’t have met Iris, wouldn’t have fallen in love with her. If he hadn’t been hurt, he wouldn’t have been sent there to recover. She had always said that everything happened for a reason, and he finally, truly understood what she meant.

His arm tightened around Iris and he closed his eyes. For the first time since the men who’d been like brothers to him had been murdered, he’d thought of something good that had happened because of their deaths.

“Morning,” Iris said softly, interrupting his thoughts.

“Morning, Doc. Sleep well?”

“Yeah. What time is it?”

“Early. You can sleep for at least another hour and a half.”

“Okay.” She turned to face him then, curling her arms up in front of her and tucking her head so it was notched under his chin. She was lightly snoring within seconds.

Barry’s heart felt like it stopped beating in his chest for a second, then when it started up again, it was beating at twice its normal rate.

Even after everything he had done to her and everything he had told her the night before, she still cuddled up to him as if she didn’t have a doubt in her head that she was safe. Her capacity to forgive after all she’d been through was astounding.

Barry lay in bed holding Iris for another fifteen minutes, memorizing every nuance of how she felt. His dick still throbbed, but he ignored it as best he could. This moment wasn’t about lust. It was about coming to grips with his past and finally putting it behind him once and for all.

He would’ve stayed there all morning if it hadn’t been for the soft babbling that came through the baby monitor next to the bed. Not wanting Iris to wake up, he immediately eased back from her, making sure to place a pillow in her arms as he left. It was a poor substitute if her groan of protest was anything to go by, but when he ran a hand over her hair, she immediately settled.

Barry had loved before. He loved his parents. He’d loved his Delta teammates even if he’d never come out and said it. He supposed he even loved his new friends. But nothing had ever come close to the kind of love he felt for Iris and their son. It was all consuming, as if the world had so many more possibilities than he’d ever been aware of before.

Barry knew he was being corny, but didn’t care. He leaned over and kissed the side of Iris’s head and made his way to the bathroom, grabbing the baby monitor on the way. He quickly took care of business and pulled on a pair of sweats before heading out of the room and down the hall.

When he opened the door, Henry was standing in his crib. When he saw his dad, he smiled and bobbed up and down, holding up his arms. Barry lifted him and brought him over to the changing table. “How about we try this again, huh slugger?”

“Food, Daddy. I ungry.”

“I know, slugger. Let’s get you changed then we’ll go see what we can find for you. Okay?”

“Kay,” Henry echoed.

Even though he was still grossed out by the whole changing a diaper thing, Barry smiled throughout the entire process……and he managed to get it right on the very first try.

By the time Iris wandered into the kitchen an hour and a half later, Barry had fed Henry, cleaned him up, read him three books, and was now supervising him playing with some toys on the floor in front of the couch.

“There’s coffee on the counter,” he told her when she stood staring at him and Henry. “I already put sugar in the pot, so you don’t need to add more.”

“You drink your coffee black,” she said, tilting her head in confusion.

“Yeah, I know. I poured myself a large cup, then added the sugar. The rest is all yours.”

Without a word, she moved to the kitchen as if in a trance. He kept his eyes on her as she filled a mug. She then wandered back into the living room and settled on the couch next to him as if she had done it every day of her life.

Barry put his arm around her shoulders and felt a contentment he hadn’t known before move through him as she settled against him, giving him her weight. She pulled her feet up and her knees came to rest half on his thigh. “You awake?” He asked with a chuckle.

She shook her head and took a sip of coffee. Then she sighed and said, “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“You have any trouble with his diaper this morning?” She asked.

“Nope.”

“Did he eat?”

“Yeah. He had some Cheerios and I made some scrambled eggs too.”

She looked up at him then. “He ate eggs?”

Barry shrugged. “Yeah. With lots of ketchup.”

She chuckled. “No TV?”

“He watches a lot. I figured maybe I’d read to him instead this morning. When he got tired of that, he played with his cars for a while, now he’s obviously moved to his blocks.”

Iris looked from him to Henry, and back to him. He braced himself for her ire. He knew mornings were usually her time with their son, but he’d wanted to let her sleep in for once. He might love her and she might trust him, and hopefully like him more than a little, but they were still finding their way to being a family.

But she didn’t say anything. Simply sipped her coffee and rested against him.

“I know mornings are usually your thing with him, but you looked so peaceful sleeping, I wanted you to have an extra few minutes,” Barry said quietly.

“I like this.”

Barry blinked. That wasn’t what he was expecting to hear.

“I love that you were able to have some time with him. And you’re right, he does watch too much TV, but it’s an easy way to keep him occupied. Admitting that might make me a bad parent, but……….” her words trailed off.

“It doesn’t make you a bad parent,” Barry reassured her, giving her a squeeze.

She looked up at him then. “Are you all right?” She asked quietly.

That gooey feeling inside him grew even larger. “I’m good.”

“Because you were pretty upset last night.”

“I’m good,” he repeated. “Promise. Are you okay with everything we talked about?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“We talked about that last mission of mine, but we didn’t talk about what it was that I did in The Agency.”

Her brow furrowed, and Barry wanted to kiss away her confusion, but he needed to bring this last thing up. Then he wouldn’t ever talk about what he used to do for a living if she didn’t bring it up first.

“What you did? Barry, you were an agent, I know that.”

“I was a sniper,” he said firmly. “I can’t tell you how many people I’ve killed, but I can tell you it was more than a regular agent has.”

Iris sat up and placed her mug on the table in front of her, then she turned to Barry. She framed his face with her hands and leaned toward him. “I don’t care, Barry. It does not surprise me that you were good at what you did. And it’s not like you were out there shooting innocent people. I’m fairly certain everyone you killed probably deserved it.”

“They might’ve had kids. A wife. Family.”

“Then maybe they should’ve been at home caring for that family instead of running around trying to kill innocent people,” Iris fired back.

Barry stared at her for a heartbeat then grabbed her. Ignoring her grunt of surprise, he hauled her over him until she was straddling his lap. He didn’t care that she would feel his erection, he just needed to hold her.

Once she had gotten over her surprise, she melted into him, putting her arms around him and laying her cheek on his shoulder. He felt the warm puffs of air against his neck as she spoke.

“I’m proud of you, Barry. Proud of your service. Proud of the man you’ve become. And proud that you’re the father of our son. You might confuse me sometimes, and frustrate me, but never doubt my support of both your Agency career and law-enforcement career.”

“You’re too good for me,” he told her.

“Nah,” she countered. “We’re perfect for each other.”

He couldn’t have stopped himself if he tried. One hand moved to her neck to hold her still and his head dropped. Barry poured every ounce of love he felt for her into the kiss. Showing her without words how much she meant to him. That he’d protect her from the Thawne’s and anyone else who might ever dare try to harm her. She was his.

He half expected her to protest, to pull away, but she didn’t. Iris gave as good as she got. Moving her hands to his head and running her fingers through his short hair as they kissed. Her hips gyrated against his erection, and he could feel the heat of her body seep through his sweats to kiss his already rock hard dick.

Just when he was preparing to roll them over on the couch, Barry heard a laugh. A high-pitched, happy sound. Then he felt a little hand smacking his cheek. Laughing, Barry dropped his hand from Iris’s neck to reach out and grab his little boy. Then he fell over onto his back, pulling the two most important people with him. Henry thought it was a fun game and squealed with laughter. Iris‘s eyes sparkled with a mixture of humor and lust. It was a look Barry wanted to see every day for the rest of his life.

Henry squirmed until he was face-to-face with his daddy, and then he mimicked what he’d just seen. “Daddy, kiss. Daddy, kiss,” he babbled as you leaned forward and kissed Barry’s scruffy cheek. Then kissed Barry’s chin, then his forehead. He was drooling and laughing as he did it, his little hands patting his daddy‘s face and chest as he smothered him with kisses.

Iris laughed and sat up, scooping her son as she went. “How about we let Daddy get up and get dressed, huh, little man?”

“Daddy, dress!” Henry repeated.

Barry stood and curled an arm around Iris, bringing her and their son into his embrace. He kissed Iris hard on the lips, then kissed Henry on the forehead. “I love you guys. I’ll be back in a bit.”

Then he let go and sauntered toward the master bedroom to get ready for the day.

He never saw Iris bite her lip and her eyes fill with tears as a result of his casual but heartfelt words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter and your continued support. Your comments mean so much to me. I hope you all are well. Be safe, healthy and happy. Love you all.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iris and Linda have a heart to heart.
> 
> Iris makes a declaration.

Iris sat with Linda in the break room at the downtown clinic. They were exhausted from seeing patients nonstop that morning, and needed ten minutes or so to regroup before they saw the last couple of patients. Linda usually stayed at home with her parents and Henry on her days off from the coffee shop, but this morning had asked if she could come along and volunteer.

Kara was on security duty, hanging out in the lobby and keeping her eye on them.

“So…..it’s been two weeks since you moved in with Barry. I take it things are going well?” Linda asked.

Iris felt heat rise in her face when her friend smiled. “Yeah, they are.”

“Details, woman. Is he as good in bed now as he was three years ago?”

Iris bit her lip, then shrugged. “I don’t know, but I’d have to say probably.”

“Probably? What do you mean? You don’t know?”

“We haven’t slept together. I mean, we have, but not slept, slept together.”

“I’d call you a liar, but I know you wouldn’t lie about that. Why in the world not?”

“For the first couple of nights, he slept on the couch. Then he shared what happened on his last mission, and we slept together in his bed. I told him I wasn’t ready for more. Since then, we’ve gone to sleep in each other’s arms every night. He wakes up before me, gets Henry up, spends time with him, and showers when I get up and take over toddler watch.”

“So, that’s it? You just sleep?”

“Well, no. We’ve made out a few times, and the last couple of nights I’ve tried to show him I’m ready to move on, but he hasn’t gotten the hint.”

Linda shifted in her seat until she was sitting on the edge and her elbows were resting on her knees. “No more hints, Iris,” she scolded. “Either tell him straight out that you’re ready for more, or grab hold of his dick so he can’t misunderstand what you want.”

“What if that’s not what he wants? I mean, he’s been so happy with Henry and our routine, I’m afraid he’s content with keeping the status quo.”

“He’s not,” Linda said definitively.

“How do you know?”

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you when you’re not paying attention. When you guys drop Henry off, he can’t take his eyes off your ass. When you pick him up in the afternoon, he’s happy to see his son, but his attention is always on you. Has he said anything about wanting more?”

Iris looked away from her friend, embarrassed for some reason. “He’s told me he loves me a couple of times.”

“WHAAAT?” Linda’s screech was so loud, Iris was afraid everyone would come running to see what was the matter.

“SHHH,” she scolded.

“He’s said he loves you, and you think he’s happy with a little kissing and just sleeping next to you every night?”

When she put it like that, it sounded stupid. “No. But……….I haven’t said it back. I think he’s waiting until I’m sure.”

“Do you love him?” Linda asked bluntly.

“Yes.” The answer was immediate. She didn’t even need to think about it.

Linda didn’t respond with words, merely lifted an eyebrow.

Iris laughed. “All right, all right, I’ve been an idiot. I need to tell him.”

“Do we need to have the birth-control talk? I mean, I know you work at a women’s clinic at all, but…...”

Iris shoved her friend’s shoulder. “No, dork. I’m covered. Thanks for being concerned though.”

Linda smiled, then said softly, “I’m giving notice at Jitters. I’m headed back up to Star City next week.”

Iris frowned. “So soon?”

Linda laughed. “Girl, I’ve been here for months.”

“I know, but I just………I’ve enjoyed having you here.”

“And I’ve enjoyed being here. I’m not moving to the moon, Iris. It’s only like a couple hours away to Star City.”

“Did I ever thank you for coming down to visit and staying to help with Henry?” Iris asked.

“No, but you’d do it for me.”

“Of course I would, but I think you’ve got enough helpers up there with your uncles and their friends.”

Linda rolled her eyes. “Ain’t that the truth. How about a girls’ night out before I leave? Do you think Kara or any of the girlfriends of Barry’s friends would want to come along?”

“We won’t know until we ask,” Iris said with a sparkle in her eye. It had been a long time since she had gone out. Getting to know Kamilla, Sue and the other women would be fun. Especially since Linda was leaving soon. Iris knew she needed to work harder on finding friends. It was something she hadn’t even thought about until Linda came in town. She’d missed the girl talk.

“Cool. This weekend?”

“Absolutely. I’m so excited,” Iris gushed.

They both laughed. Linda stood, and when Iris did the same, she hooked her arm in her friend’s and they left the break room laughing.

An hour later, they had finished up with the last of the morning patients and headed out to the waiting room. Barry was there with Kara, and they both looked up as Iris and Linda entered.

Iris went straight to Barry and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. He seemed surprised at first, but quickly recovered, his hand going to the back of her neck to hold her against him as he deepened the quick hello kiss she’d intended to a longer, more intense one.

“Hey,” she said when he’d let her go.

“Hey, Doc,” he echoed. “Did you have a good morning?”

“Yeah.” Iris turned to Kara, not moving out of Barry’s embrace. “Linda’s headed home to Star City next week. We thought we would have a girls’ night before she leaves. Want to come?”

“Yeah, that sounds fun. What night? I work Friday,” she told them.

“Then not Friday,” Iris said, laughing. “How about Saturday?”

“That works. Would you mind if I invited some of the other girls?”

“No, I was hoping you would.”

Kara looked at Barry. “And so you know, I’m not going to be on duty when I’m there, so you’ll need to arrange something.”

Iris couldn’t keep the huge smile off her face. She hadn’t even thought about the fact Kara was an officer, despite how much she had been around when Barry couldn’t be, watching over her. She was thrilled that Kara wanted to be “one of the girls” rather than on duty. She glanced up at Barry. He was also grinning.

“No problem, Kara. I’ll talk to the others.”  
“Anyone have any ideas on where we should go?” Linda asked.

“There’s a new club not too far from here,” Kara told them. “It’s called Five.”

“I’ve heard of that!” Iris exclaimed. “It’s gotten really good reviews.” She looked up at Barry. “For safety as well as for the atmosphere.”

“That’s good, Doc.”

“What time? Nine?” Kara asked.

“Perfect!” Iris said enthusiastically. “Thank you so much for coming with us.”

“You work hard,” Kara said. “You’re always going out of your way for the women here, don’t think I haven’t noticed. And from what Barry has said, you haven’t had a lot of time in the last three years for yourself.”

Iris felt Barry’s arm tighten around her waist. It made her feel good that he’d been talking about her with his friends. She didn’t know them all that well, but she hoped this weekend would change that. “I haven’t. I’m looking forward to it.”

They all headed out of the clinic. Kara’s car was parked on the street, and they said their goodbyes then continued down the street to Barry’s car. Iris loved the feel of his hand in hers as they walked.

When they were almost there, Iris saw a familiar figure sitting on a bench a little ways down from Barry’s car. She tried to tug her hand away. “Hang on, I’ll be right back.”

Barry didn’t let go of her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I just want to go say hi to Caitlin.”

Barry’s eyes narrowed as he looked to where Iris had gestured. “Is that the woman who brought in the pregnant girl the other week?”

“Yeah.”

“And she’s homeless?”

“Yeah. She doesn’t say much about where she stays or what her deal is. But I’m fairly certain she hasn’t always been on the streets. She’s too……….soft.”

As if he knew exactly what she meant, Barry nodded. He dropped her hand then reached for his wallet. He pulled out the forty bucks he had in there and handed it to her.

Iris almost blurted that she loved him right then and there. She had been out with men in the past who’d looked down their noses at the homeless. Who didn’t care about stray animals, or giving money to disaster relief funds, or in any other way giving to those less fortunate than them. Barry hadn’t thought twice; he’d given her money as if his bank account was bottomless.

“Thanks,” she murmured thoughtfully.

“You’re welcome. I’ll be surprised if she actually takes it though. Go on. I’ll keep watch from here.”

Iris nodded then headed for Caitlin.

The other woman had long, stringy light brown hair. It was uneven, as if she’d given herself a haircut, which Iris supposed she probably had. She was wearing a dirty, beat up T-shirt and had a sweatshirt wrapped around her waist, even though it was hot outside. Her jeans were just as dirty. A pair of gray sneakers rounded out her outfit.

“Hey, Caitlin,” Iris said softly as she approached. She had never seen the other woman with a shopping basket full of her stuff, or even a backpack. She had to have some belongings somewhere, but Iris didn’t know where she kept them.

“Hi, Iris,” Caitlin answered.

Her words lacked the pep that Iris was used to from her. Her hazel eyes were dull and her shoulders were slumped, as if she had a great weight upon them. Iris sat on the edge of the bench next to her. “How are you?”

“I’m good. You?”

The words were automatic, and Iris knew she was just being polite. “I’m okay. I haven’t seen you around much lately.”

Caitlin shrugged.

Not able to stop herself, Iris put a hand on the other woman’s knee. “If you ever need anything, you know all you have to do is reach out and I’m there, right?”

Caitlin glanced away from her fingers twisting in her lap and looked Iris in the eye. “That’s nice thank you.”

Iris hadn’t removed her hand, and she squeezed Caitlin’s knee once more. “Me and my friends are going to that new nightclub Five on Saturday night. Come with us. We’re not going to hook up with guys or anything like that. Just us girls hanging out. We’ll eat and have a few drinks. I’d like to be your friend, and would love to introduce you to everyone.”

Caitlin looked at her as if she’d lost her mind. “Are you insane? I’m homeless. I could be a crazy person. Besides, look at me. They would never let me in a place like that.”

“I’ll bring you something. Nothing fancy, a pair of jeans and a blouse. Please?”

“Thanks, but no. I don’t think so.”

“At least come see me tomorrow then,” Iris ardently asked. “I’ll see what I can do about finding you a place to stay for a while.”

“I can’t.”

“Caitlin,” Iris said desperately. “Look at me.”

It took a minute, but the other woman finally turned her head and met Iris’s gaze. “I’m your friend. You’ve been nothing but kind to the girls around here. You’re the first one to offer help when they need it.”

“Why are you so nice to me? You shouldn’t be,” Caitlin said, her words hitching. “You’re making this so much harder.”

“What? What am I making harder?”

Caitlin looked around trying to get the words out, but the lump in her throat was too big. Iris didn’t like the absolute devastation in the other woman’s voice. Iris was unsure what to say next as they sat there for a few minutes the silence growing thick and heavy with turmoil and uncertainty. As Iris was about to break the uncomfortable silence offering Caitlin the money Barry had gave her, Caitlin stood, beginning a brisk walk as she turned to Iris, “I have to go. I’ll think about what you said.”

“Caitlin!” She called, but she didn’t slow nor turn around.

Iris felt Barry come up behind her and put a hand on her hip. “Are you all right?”

“Yes, but Caitlin isn’t,” she said, distressed.

“I can have Kara or Ralph see what they can find out about her if that would make you feel better.”

Iris struggled with indecision. She wanted to run after Caitlin and force her to come with her, to tell her what was wrong, but she’d already disappeared. She knew the alleys and streets way better than Iris did. If she didn’t want to be found, she wouldn’t be.

Sighing, she shook her head. “I don’t even know her last name. I don’t know what kind of information they’d be able to find out anyway.”

“You’d be surprised, Doc.”

“Come on, let’s go get Henry. Linda is going to need our support when she tells my parents she’s leaving. I think they’ve unofficially adopted her. They’re used to a house full of people, and then I left with Henry and now she’s leaving too. They aren’t going to take it well.”

“Then we’ll stay over there today. You can hang with your mom, and me and Henry will watch football with your dad.”

His answer was matter-of-fact and so Barry. Iris knew Linda was waiting for them, but she couldn’t have held back her words if her life depended on it. “I love you.”

Barry’s eyes widened and his hand tightened against her side.

She went on. “I know I haven’t said it yet, but I don’t think I ever stopped. You broke my heart, Barry, but I never stopped loving you. Not for one second. Please, please don’t hurt me like that again. I couldn’t survive losing you a second time.”

“I won’t, Iris. I swear to God, I won’t.” He pulled her into his arms, and they stood locked together for a long moment before they heard a whistle from behind them.

Smiling, Iris pulled back. “Looks like Linda is getting impatient.”

Barry brushed the backs of his fingers over her cheek, then nodded. “Come on. We’ll pick up some grub on the way to your parents. Got a preference?”

“I don’t. But Linda is going to want the Blanco Café. She loves that place, and since she’s headed back up to Star City, I know she’s going to want to get her fill.”

“I could go for a breakfast taco for lunch.”

Iris grinned at him, not surprised he’d heard of the eclectic Tex-Mex café.

They headed back toward his car and an inpatient Linda. When they got close, she asked, “Is Caitlin all right?”

Iris shook her head. “No, I don’t think so, but I’ll tell you about it later.”

Linda looked like she was going to protest for a second, but eventually she nodded.

“You up for some Blanco Café this afternoon?” Iris asked.

“Do bears shit in the woods?” Linda returned even as she was climbing into the back of Barry’s car.

Iris and Barry shared a smile before she sat. He closed the door behind her and went around to the driver’s side.

None of the occupants of the car saw the man in the alley across the street watching them, and they didn’t see him head off down the sidewalk where Caitlin had disappeared.

************************************************************************************

“So?” The man asked belligerently when he found Caitlin in an alley a couple of blocks from where she had been talking with Iris.

“She said that she’d be at that new club, Five, on Saturday night.”

“And the Oriental too?”

Caitlin shrugged. “I guess so. She said she was going out with her friends.”

Edward smiled. It was an evil smile, one that Caitlin knew she would never forget.

She hated betraying Iris like this. She’d always been so nice to her. But she needed money. She needed her fix. She couldn’t risk igniting the ire of the Thawne’s. 

“Now when do I get it?”

“That’s not how this works, and you know it. I’ll get you your money and the stuff you like when I know the information you provided me proves to be correct. You meet me here at eight on Saturday night. When I’m sure they’re really there, I’ll give you the five grand, the drugs and proof that nothing has happened to your Ronnie.”

“That’s not what we agreed on.” Caitlin said, voice raised obviously agitated with the change in their agreement.

“Shut up you petulant whore. You’re the one that sought me out looking for your next fix and money to get out of town. All of which you’ll get if your information pans out. But………… if I get there Saturday night and that bitch and her friend are not at the club because you’re fuckin’ me, not only will you not get your money and drugs but you’ll never see these filthy alleys ever again and your precious Ronnie will be found with his throat slit from ear to ear.”

Caitlin stood frozen and silent. Her misspent life playing in images through her mind. The malpractice suit. The broken engagement. The hateful destructive mother. Her dependency on pain pills. All the choices that had taken her on a one way trip to hell and dealing with the devil.

The pain was so excruciating she wanted nothing more than to escape and be numb. Defeated she said, “I’ll be here Saturday night.” 

Caitlin backed up against a wall and slid to the ground. She curled her arms around her updrawn legs and buried her head in her knees as her tears began to fall. “I’m…..I’m sorry Iris.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends. I’m sorry it has taken me so long to update this story. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The Thawne’s are very close to enacting their plan. 
> 
> I appreciate all of you who have decided to stick with this story despite the erratic way in which I update the story. I can’t make any promises as to when the next update will be ready but I’m currently working on it———so, fingers crossed———soon.
> 
> Be well. Stay safe in these perilous times. And thank you for your support.


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iris is worried about Barry and how his decision to protect her could effect their relationship.

I’ll get him,” Barry said softly when they pulled up to his apartment later that night.

They’d done just as he’d suggested. Picked up lunch, gone back to her parents house and hung out. Her mom was sad that Linda was leaving, but after she promised to keep in touch, seemed to rebound.

Dinner was a loud and happy occasion, and Iris rejoiced at the way all of her favorite people got along so well. Henry fell asleep while they were watching a movie and they finally left around eight-thirty.

Iris watched Barry unbuckle their sleeping son from his car seat and lift him into his arms. He easily carried Henry while still managing to grab the diaper bag, shut the door, and wrap his arm around her when he got to her side.

They walked up to his apartment complex and Iris thought of what they’d talked about that night. Her father had brought up the subject of the Thawne’s and asked Barry for an update.

No one had seen either Eobard or Edward since Iris and Linda had seen Edward outside the clinic, which was frustrating. Barry told her dad that he wasn’t sure they were still in danger, but he wasn’t willing to let down his guard just yet.

His words made her feel all tingly………but then her dad had asked how long he would be able to take a break from his job to look after her.

Barry had said to let him worry about that, but Iris couldn’t help but think about it now. The last thing she wanted was Barry getting in trouble or, God forbid, being fired because he was keeping watch over her instead of doing his job.

They were silent as they headed up the elevator and entered the apartment. Barry immediately headed for Henry’s room. She followed him and watched as he lovingly placed the toddler in his crib. He stood there for a long moment before leaning over and kissing his little forehead. He turned on the baby monitor next to the crib and joined her in the doorway.

“I don’t want you to lose your job,” Iris blurted quietly.

Barry simply looked amused at her outburst. “How long have you had that thought in your head? You were going to burst if you didn’t say it, weren’t you?”

“Be serious, Barry. I haven’t seen Edward since that one time, and there’s no reason for them to come after me. Ralph said the same thing. Spending every day following me around and getting your friends to watch me is ridiculous.”

“Your safety isn’t ridiculous,” he said, closing their son’s door and using his hand to push her down the hall toward their room.

“What has your boss said about this? When do you need to go back to work?”

Barry’s brow furrowed, but he didn’t answer her.

“Barry?” Iris asked as he shut the door to their room.

“Go ahead and get ready for bed.”

“You’re not going to answer me, are you? And that makes me think you’ve already been asked to go back to your regular shifts, and you will get in trouble if you don’t.”

Barry kissed her forehead then turned her and gave her a gentle shove toward the bathroom. “Get ready for bed, Doc. I’ll tell you everything when we’re settled for the night.”

Iris sighed but did as he requested. This she remembered. His stubbornness and absolute refusal to do or say anything he didn’t want to. She showered, brushed her teeth and changed into her night T-shirt—— well, his old T-shirt——and went back into the room. Barry passed her and entered the bathroom.

Sighing, Iris made sure the baby monitor was on and climbed under the sheets on her side of the bed. In what felt like moments, Barry was back, looking as amazing as ever in his boxers. He left the light on his side on and got under the covers with her. He hauled her into his arms.

Without beating around the bush, he said, “I was asked to go back to my normal shifts next week. But I told them that I wouldn’t. Not until Eobard and Edward have been caught.”

“Barry, you can’t do that,” Iris said, her brows drawn down in concern.

“You didn’t let me finish, Doc.”

She sighed and gestured for him to continue.

“My supervisor isn’t unreasonable. I can’t blame him for wanting me back. The other detectives at my station have been taking up the slack since I left. I owe them big, but not one has complained. It’s just the way they are.”

He took a breath to continue but she asked before he could, “So you don’t have to go back to work?”

“Impatient princess,” he teased, pulling on a lock of her hair. “I called Ralph on speaker and had him tell my supervisor everything he knows about the Thawne’s. Why the FBI is concerned about your safety. All the information they have on where these two assholes might be, which isn’t much. When he was done, my supervisor agreed there’s a chance you might still be in danger, and he agreed to let me stay on guard duty for another couple of weeks. We’ll reassess at that time and make the decision as to your safety then.”

Iris melted into him, more relieved than she knew how to put into words.

“You like that,” he said.

“Yeah. I’m glad you won’t get in trouble. I honestly don’t feel as though I’m in danger. I mean, it’s been weeks since the school was raided and shut down. I know you saw that one guy hanging around my parents house, but you said yourself that you can’t be positive it was Eobard or Edward. It could’ve just been a regular ol’ burglar. But I can’t deny that I like having you around. It’s been nice getting to know you again. I also have to admit that I feel more comfortable with you and your friends watching over me just in case.”

Iris shrieked in surprise as his fingers dug into her side. She tried to squirm away from him, but he had a tight hold on her. “Barry, oh my God, stop……..you know I hate that!” She was giggling as she begged him to stop, but she couldn’t get away from his talented fingers, and he knew just where she was the most ticklish.

Barry rolled until Iris was straddling him. She pushed up and looked down at him. Her fingers were splayed on his chest and she could feel his heart beating under her palm. His hands were on her waist as he held her firmly and safely on top of him.

Remembering Linda’s words from earlier, Iris inched her hips backward until she felt his erection pressing against her core. Without breaking eye contact, she pressed herself into him and slowly circled her hips. Her panties were wet with arousal, and she felt him grow harder under her.

“Iris,” he warned, tightening his grip on her waist.

But she didn’t stop. “Linda told me I should be clear about what I want. That I should stop giving you vague hints.” Iris ground down on his cock as she did. One hand reached between them and she caressed as much of it as she could reach. “I want you, Barry. I’ve dreamed of having you inside me again. Of getting my hands and mouth on your dick. I love you….. and I want you.”

She held her breath as she stared down into his eyes. He said that he loved her, but he’d been holding back from moving their physical relationship forward. Iris hoped he was just waiting on a clear signal from her, like Linda suggested, and it wasn’t because he wasn’t sure he wanted to be in a full-fledged relationship with her again.

It seemed as if time stood still while she waited to see what he would do.

************************************************************************************

Barry’s fingers tightened on Iris’s waist as he tried not to throw her onto her back and fuck her brains out. He’d been trying to go slow. Trying to let her get used to him again. To show her that he could be gentle, loving, and that he wanted her for more than just sex.

But her hand on his cock and the feel of her absolutely soaked panties rubbing against him threw him over the edge. For a split second, the only thing he could do was stare up at her, wondering if he’d heard her right.

He would never get tired of her saying that she loved him. Never.

But at the moment, he wasn’t thinking about that. No, all he could think of was burying himself inside her as far as he could get and not letting her up for air until she’d taken every drop of him.

“Fuck,” he said, but it was more an exhalation of air than an actual word. Rolling them once more, Barry stared down at Iris. He lifted one of her legs, placing it on his hip as he leaned over her.

Bracing himself, he reached down with the other hand and, without hesitation, shoved aside the gusset of her panties and eased a finger inside of her. Iris moaned and grabbed his biceps while arching into his touch.

He slowly finger fucked her, loving how she pressed up and how her legs widened, welcoming him.

“Look at me,” he ordered, adding another finger and making sure his thumb brushed over her clit with every press inside her body.

Her head came down and her eyes opened into slits as she stared up at him.

“ I love you, Iris. I’ve always loved you. Even when I was an angry asshole, I loved you. I’m going to marry you and, if the doctor says it’s safe, give you another baby. I’ll be by your side every step of the way this time though. I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy, and doing everything in my power to make sure you have everything you need and want.”

“Barry,” she sighed.

“I’m clean,” he told her, hating this part, but needing to say it before he took her the way he wanted to. “I got tested after I fucked up and tried to get you out of my head by going home with someone one night. I didn’t do anything with her, but I still felt dirty afterwards.”

“I haven’t been with anyone since you.”

Her words made him feel even more possessive. “Thank fuck,” he breathed. “And this probably isn’t the time or place, but you should know that I haven’t been with anyone either. How could I when you still owned my heart?”

“Really?” She asked.

“Really,” Barry confirmed immediately. “This pussy has always been mine, hasn’t it?” He growled.

“Yes! Oh my God, yes,” Iris moaned.

The noises his fingers were making were loud in the quiet room. She was soaked, and Barry wanted inside her. Now.

“Are you on birth control? Do I need to get a condom?”

She hesitated for a second, and Barry was worried he’d broken the mood, but she finally swallowed and said, “I’m on the pill. Have been since Henry stopped breast-feeding. The doctor thought it would help my hormones and moods get back to normal.”

The scent of her desire was thick in the air, and with every breath he took, Barry swore he could actually taste her. “Take off my shirt,” he said, even as he eased her leg down and tugged on her panties.

Working in tandem, they got her stripped, and at the sight of her body beneath him, Barry couldn’t hold back any longer. He shoved his boxers down and lined his cock up to her opening.

Iris spread her legs, showing him everything, giving him all of her.

He hadn’t ever seen anything more beautiful in his life. Her breasts were fuller than they’d been three years ago. Her belly had a tiny pooch that hadn’t been there before. He could see faint stretch marks on her body. Her thighs were soft and he could feel how smooth the skin was against his thighs as he crowded closer to her.

Slowly, so he could memorize the moment, Barry pushed inside her body. He slid in easily, her excitement bathing his cock as he entered her.

She winced, and he stopped when he was halfway inside. It physically hurt to stop, but there was no way he would do anything to cause her pain.

“You all right?”

“It’s been a while,” she whispered.

“There’s no rush,” Barry told her, lying his ass off. He felt as if he was going to come any second. The memory of being inside her was nothing like the reality. He could feel her muscles flexing against him, trying to keep him out at the same time they were pulling at him to finish what he had started.

He reached between their bodies and gently stroke her clit as he stared down at the woman under him. She was familiar, yet not. Barry had thought her beautiful when they were together before, but she was even more so now. She had carried their son in her body for almost nine months. She’d nursed him with her body. It was a miracle, and he felt unworthy simply being in her presence.

What most women didn’t understand was that a man loved his woman’s body. Loved her tits, big or small. Loved her curves, loved her belly and thighs. Loved her ass and especially loved her pussy.

And Barry was no exception.

Iris moaned as his thumb stimulated her clit. He felt her inner muscles relax around him, and he took advantage, sliding farther inside her body. She immediately clenched down and he stopped.

“You are so beautiful,” he told her. “Even more so than three years ago. I honestly didn’t think you’d forgive me, and wouldn’t have blamed you. But you giving me this means so much more as a result.” He pressed harder against her clit. “Let me in, Doc. All the way. Let me show you how much I love you.”

At his words, one of her hands came down to where they were joined, and he groaned as she found out for herself how much more of him she needed to take. She looked into his eyes. “Do it, Barry. Take me.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said between clenched teeth.

Then she took matters into her own hands. She grabbed hold of his ass and pushed up against him as hard as she could.

His cock slid deep inside with her actions, and they both moaned at the same time. Barry fell forward on his hands and held himself as still as possible. He could feel his heartbeat in his dick, and her warm, wet pussy felt a million times better than anything he could ever experience.

“Move, Barry. Fuck me.”

Her words were all he needed to hear. He pulled almost all the way out of her, then slammed back inside. Then he did it again, and again. He couldn’t stop if he had a gun to his head. He wanted to take her softly and sweetly their first time, but he couldn’t. Iris’s moans and her fingernails in his ass urged him on. He felt like he was a virgin again. He had no control and knew he was seconds away from his orgasm.

He tried to stop, to make sure she came before him, but he was too far gone in his ecstasy and she felt way to good around him.

“I’m close,” he told her. “I know you haven’t come, but I can’t stop.”

“Keep going,” she ordered. “Fuck me harder.”

That was it. Her words hurdled him over the edge. Barry pounded into her twice more, then held himself as far inside her as he could and came. His arm shaking, Barry closed his eyes and simply enjoyed the feeling of being inside Iris once more. When his cock twitched one last time, he sat back, pulling her ass over his bent knees and onto his lap.

In this position there were so many things he wanted to do to her. But first, she needed to come. He’d been selfish, which wasn’t like him. He had nearly lost his mind during their lovemaking. He had never felt so primal, so flush with feelings of love and lust. It overwhelmed him in a way that only Iris could. It was only her——her love, her body, her essence that could drive him to the brink of all loss of self control.

He wanted more of her. He craved more. But he had to take care of her needs first.

His hands went to her breasts and palmed them, learning their new size and shape. He pinched both nipples and smiled when she jerked on his lap. But she didn’t move or otherwise protest his touch.

He played with her tits for a long moment, loving how her nipples peaked, loving the slight sheen of perspiration that was flush on her neck and cheeks. She squirmed on his lap and he moved a hand to her belly, pressing down. “Stay still,” he said huskily.

“Barry, please.”

“Please wait?”

“Make me come. I need it. I need you.”

Loving how open she was about her needs, Barry wanted to satisfy her. Lord knew he’d gone off like a rocket because he was so excited to be inside her again. If she was feeling half of what he was, she had to be desperate. Using one hand to continue to play with her nipples, he moved the other between her legs.

Dipping his finger to where they were still joined, he began to lightly caress her clit. “You want to come, Doc?”

“Yes. Oh God, yes.”

“Then that’s what you’ll do.” And with that, Barry stopped fucking around. Remembering how she needed a rough touch to climax, he used two fingers and a circular motion to stimulate her.

Iris’s hips immediately bucked upward as far as they could in his tight hold, which wasn’t far, and he grinned. Using the hand that had been at her breast to hold her down, Barry continued his direct assault on her clit. She writhed and squirmed in his grasp, but he didn’t relent.

He could feel her inner muscles clenching his dick as she neared her climax. Amazingly, Barry felt himself growing hard again. He almost laughed at how easily she aroused him, but didn’t want her to take his laughter the wrong way. He pressed down harder and she exploded.

She strained against him and every muscle below her waist tightened. Her thighs squeezed his hips and she shook as she came. It was absolutely beautiful, and a sight Barry hadn’t realized how much he’d missed.

Instead of letting her come down from her orgasm, he paused for a couple of seconds, then pressed down on her clit, forcing her into another orgasm right on the heels of the first.

“Barry!” she screeched as she came once more.

Now fully hard again inside her, Barry grabbed her and rolled, making sure not to lose his connection with her. He held her above him and, as she looked down at him with her lust laden eyes, he growled, “Fuck me, Doc.”

And without hesitation she began, completely enthralled by his hunger for her. Even though she was still orgasming, she ground herself down on him and moved her hips in circles. She was so erotic and enticing, Barry wanted to memorize every look, every moan, every gasp of pleasure that escaped her swollen from kisses lips. Her hair was a halo of lush curls, her skin glowed from the heat of her sexual appetite, her nails tingled and tantalized with every mark they made on his skin and her tight, wet pussy was the kind of treasure that empires fought wars for.

Surprisingly, even without pumping in and out of her, Barry found himself on the edge of another climax. Seeing Iris’s pleasure, and feeling it around his cock, was enough.

“I love you,” he ground out before letting himself go deep inside her. This orgasm was just as intense as the first one, and somehow even more satisfying. He knew nothing would ever feel as amazing as being inside this gorgeous woman, his woman, when she got off. Nothing.

Suddenly, Iris fell boneless on top of him, and he immediately wrapped his arms around her and held her safe against his chest. They were both sweaty, sated and couldn’t move if their lives depended on it.

How long they lay like that, he couldn’t have said, but eventually his softening cock slipped out of her warm body and he groaned.

Iris giggled, and he felt the movement against his skin. She raised her head and looked down at him with a satisfied smirk. “So, I guess my not beating around the bush worked, huh?”

Barry brushed his hand gently over her cheek and nodded. “Oh yeah. And for the record, I highly approve.”

She smiled, then sighed and snuggled back into him. “I love you.”

He would never get tired of hearing those three words. Never. “I love you too, my Iris. You have no idea how much.”

“Oh, I think I do,” she said, and he could feel her smile against his neck.

“No, you don’t. I was only half living the last three years. I’m good at what I do, and love being a detective. I’ve got good friends and family who love me. But I had no idea what I was missing until you came back into my life. Everything seems brighter. Smells seem more powerful. And I’m finally happy again. You have done that. You and Henry.”

He felt a tear on his shoulder, but wasn’t alarmed. Especially not when she protested, “You can’t say those kinds of things to me, Barry.”

“Why not?”

“Because. I can’t handle them.”

“Bullshit. You can handle anything. You’ve already proven it. You are one of the strongest women I’ve ever met, and that includes some of the women in The Agency who kicked serious ass.”

“Seriously, you need to stop.”

Barry chuckled. “Okay, Doc.” He turned his head and kissed her forehead. They were silent for several minutes before he asked, “Join me for a shower before bed?”

She mumbled something he didn’t hear.

“What was that, Doc?”

“Only if that means you’re ready for round two.” She repeated clearly this time.

The smile on Barry’s face grew. “Anything you want, sweetheart. I’ll grab the baby monitor.”

After they sealed their loving and lustful night with a quick, albeit acrobatic round two, the blissful yet tired duo made their way to bed. They were both going to have to get used to balancing full time parenting and full time jobs with what promised to be a very full sex life. 

“Is the alarm set? Iris asked as she climbed in bed.

“I’ll be up, no worries.”

“Okay,” she said and nuzzled closer.

Everything about Iris was special to him. She trusted him to get up on time in the mornings. She trusted him with their son. She trusted him to keep her safe. He couldn’t fathom what life would be like if anything happened to Iris or Henry.

As she fell asleep on top of him, Barry tightened his hold around her, hoping every night for the rest of their lives would end this exact way. With her in his arms, trusting him to keep their family safe from whoever and whatever might want to do them harm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone.
> 
> I hope you all are well and safe during these crazy, anxious times.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. We’re almost at the end of this story, only three more chapters. And as you all are incredibly astute I’m sure you know that the Thawne’s are about to make a reappearance. 
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me and this story. I appreciate the support so much. 
> 
> On a side note, for the few readers that might be wondering about Brief Encounter, don’t fret. I’m sorry for the long delay but I’m working on the next chapter now and I hope to have it out soon. 
> 
> Much love and well wishes to all of you. Take care friends.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Any and all comments are appreciated.


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